Arbor

Anyone else play the sympathy card all the time when they were actively drinking? Nine months in and I just realized I haven't acted out this way in a very long time. It's gone quite frankly. What a drastic improvement.

strategery

Pretty awesome realization, Arbor! I probably played the sympathy card since I was mucking about in self-pity for the last several years of my drinking.

gettingsmarter

In my case it was the excuse/blame other people card.

entropy1964

Oh for sure. I'm a joke when I'm drunk.

Coldfusion

I wanted other people to feel sorry for me for the stupid choices I had made.

kittycat3

I am doing that sober, lol! Yesterday I had a little pity party. I guess I have my work cut out for me.

oldsoul1122

Oh yes, it was a way to get attention and some kind of distorted connection to people.

Constance01

Everyday and all the time. My drinking is never related to the obvious fact I just can't control alcohol. My drinking is the fault of everything bad that has ever transpired around me. I play this 'woe is me' card with my loved ones. I trust you understood the sarcasm in what I just said.

Berrybean

Yep. And believed it myself as well after a while - probably more than the people I played that card to did anyway. Self pity is horrible. Self pity plus selfish egotistical behaviour is even worse. I have some cringe worthy memories of that kind of behaviour. I still have to watch myself for this kind of thing if I miss some of my recovery plan daily work, or if there are a couple of those HALT triggers present.

tufty13

"You have no idea how hard it is being me" I'd say to my wife.

"I'll tell you what your problem is. THIS!" she'd reply, shaking an empty bottle of wine in front of my face.

I continued on with my self pity and she continued on with divorcing me.

Now I'm sober I take ownership of everything, all my faults and all my misjudgements and all my mishaps and all my history, but I do it without a single thought toward self pity. :-)

Lightning Bug

I ran the self pity train... right into a mountain. Fun times, I think not.

LadyBlue0527

I did indeed. It was my way of justifying my drinking. It was so bad that some of my normie drinking friends didn't even want to hang out with me.

So glad that piece of me is gone.

Arbor

I though so too, Strat. Thank you! I'm going to live off the gratitude on this thought for the next few days. It's amazing, the father I move along in sobriety the more these realizations come about. It's so enlightening to be more introspective.

Yeah, the pity party didn't just start and end with the basics of daily drinking it was life encompassing. "I work too hard, I'm always tired, there's no me time, blah, blah, blah..." The BS I put my family through.

The selfishness of drinking fueled it all. Try explaining that to someone who doesn't have a problem. They don't get it. Such burden us alcoholics carry on our shoulders on a daily basis.

But alas! Progress can be made by simply not picking up.