Volshen

1: I have read a thread about people on this forum who are frustrated by giving advice to others who don't take the advice, don't get sober. So that makes me feel bad and hesitant to post. BUT, I also COMPLETELY agree .. I would be frustrated too.

2: I start a new job next Tuesday... not tomorrow but the next one.. this could be a good opportunity .. but past jobs even though I've not been fired *yet* due to drinking I've not put 100% into them due to desire to drink.

3: Can't go to rehab or anything that would give me away .. girlfriend thinks I have around 30 days sobriety .. I've been able to hide my drinking ... this is not a permanent ability I know ..

4: Want to quit but the AV / Desire / whatever you want to call it keeps dragging me back in ..

End rant / vent.

trachemys

That's a new one on me. Someone wants to quit and can't.

When you're ready, you'll quit.

Volshen

I am ready but can't.

Ariesagain

Yes, you can.

sleepie

At the end of the day, your own health, life, job, relationships and sanity are at stake not anyone else's.

Now I say this not be tough or insensitive. It is just a simple fact- nothing gets better by toeing the line. You gotta knuckle down.

Each time one drinks it reinforces things chemically and physically in your brain to return again and again. It gets harder to quit each time you drink. That means both physically and mentally.

trachemys

You can.

Repeat after me:

I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind.

Anna

You can. And, if you believe that you can't, then you won't.

Despite your new job or your girlfriend's lack of knowledge of your drinking, you can quit today if you want to.

biminiblue

Every single one of us on here who has quit has had to go through exactly what you are going through. Is it easy? Not really. Is it simple? Yes.

Don't pick up a drink. Go to bed sober. Repeat again tomorrow - no matter what thoughts go through your head. No one needs to drink.

Venecia

Volshen, take a look around this forum and the Alcoholism forum.

Everyday, there's a thread marking some kind of anniversary. Six months, a year, two years, 1,000 days, you name it.

None of the people who've hit those milestones are "special." Everyone starts with a Day One, filled with both fear and hope.

Perseverance pays off. Stick with it. Have faith in yourself. Use every tool at your disposal. That's how you get sober. It's an equal opportunity transition in life.

And I've shared Sleepie's post below because she's nailed it. The more you allow yourself to drink, the harder it gets. When you accept that drinking is entirely, and permanently, off the table, it gets easier.

Delilah1

You can do this, but it needs to be for you, not your girlfriend or job. It will make you more present for both, but you need to do it for you.

Spend some time reading and posting on SR, lots of great advice to help you put together a recovery toolbox.

doggonecarl

I'm not frustrated by people's struggle to quit. But it is frustrating to read the contradictions in your post and the posts of many who state their desire to quit, yet in the same post state what they aren't willing to do to get sober.

They want to quit, but AA doesn't agree with them. Want to quit but can't go to rehab. Want to quit but can't tell anyone of their problem or desire to get sober.

Frustrating to read and I know it was frustrating for me when I was the one saying it, "I want to quit, but..."

hellrzr

As I've heard many times, you won't be ready to quit until the pain is great enough. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking and start listening to others who have stopped. There are many people to help you when you are truly ready.

akire81

This is actually me. My body says no but my brain says yes you want it.

I quit last year for 6.5 months and it was a struggle, got a lot easier, then a LOT harder and i gave in to temptation and social pressure.

I WISH I could get rid of the desire to drink. It's deep seeded in me and I ******* HATE it. If I could burn it out of me, I would. I assume for the OP its the same. I feel like Im going crazy because of it. Hell on earth.

Upward2Enlightenment

It really is that simple.
When your desire to be sober is stronger than any excuse to drink, you will find the way.

Berrybean

I got sober when I woke up with the special kind of desperation that made me realise that change was my only option. I just could not bear to be That Person any longer. And to stay sober I needed to get willing to do the things I hadn't done before. Those things that 'make me anxious' or 'is not my thing' or 'doesn't sit well with me'. And what I found was that it was my AV that didn't want to do those things. Me? I was just scared, same as I was about everything and anything that had more than a sniff of unfamiliarity or effort or discomfort involved, but once I'd started doing the things that were suggested I found the relief I got from doing them far outweighed the pain of being That Person and drinking, or white knuckling it sober.

You can do it if you want change enough and can find the willingness to try what others who've walked this path before you have done. Like someone else said, it won't necessarily be easy. There will be a degree of discomfort involved. We have to learn to sit with cravings. We have to learn to sit with unpleasant emotions, til they pass which we learn they invariably do, if we don't Velcro ourselves to them and decide that they are us. But, an hour at a time, a day at a time, a week, a month, a year at a time, this thing is possible for all of us.

Do you want to change enough to get willing?

tufty13

Hi Volshen,

I'm convinced this disease is one of the mind, don't let your own mind trick you into defeat.

Our thoughts aren't always true you know.

Good luck, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.