ajarlson

I have a friend, more like an acquaintance that wants to be better friends with me. She has SOOO much drama, constantly losing jobs, getting evicted, losing her phone, fighting with her girlfriend (who lost all three of her kids to the ex husband). That being said, she's funny and smart and it's fun to hang around with her, but her drama is exhausting (especially since I am actively avoiding drama these days). I am finding it hard to say no to her, she is starting to bug me again about hanging out. When I examine my fears they are baseless, she won't like me (I never see her) she'll make some passive aggressive jab at me on Facebook (who cares) etc etc. And yet, I am finding it hard to come up with the words that say, I like you, but I don't like your drama, without it sounding insulting and hurtful. And, once she starts hanging out, it's hard to shake her off...
Why do I care? Damn ACoA...LOL

Kialua

I just can't deal with drama people like that. But it took years to admit it and let them go. At first I always thought I could fix them, of course I knew what they should do to get better and fix things. Well that didn't work. Now if they pop up in my life again and they ask for insight, I offer and don't get emotionally invested. Specially if they don't my insight. But I don't make them a part of my life. Just too hard.

ajarlson

She definitely does not ask for insight, I don't think she knows there's anything abnormal about her life, and maybe there's not, it's just not what I want in mine.
The losing jobs and never having money or a place to live coupled with girlfriend/kid drama is just too much to listen to. In her defense, she usually waits until her drama has calmed down before contacting me so I only see her during lulls but she's a "partay" person as well and that too is draining. I just told her I had too much going on my life right now and she seemed to understand. She isn't a bad person, which is why I didn't want to hurt her - she just doesn't fit into my life and that makes ME feel like a bad person LOL

atalose

What I have discovered is that people with all of those kind of BIG issues are constantly looking for new “friends” (enablers) who will eventually house them, pay their bills, watch their children, borrow clothes cars, money etc…………..because that’s what “friends” do for each other.

And usually they are not BAD people just end up being BAD friends.