Almost 3 1/2 Months and Emotions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manhattan, New York
Posts: 83
Almost 3 1/2 Months and Emotions
Hey Guys!
Its been a while since Ive last been on SR and even longer since Ive posted anything.
Today, Im at 3 months and 13 days and for the most part, things have been REALLY good.
Really havent had any problems with my sobriety besides a few missed social opportunities that I didnt want to take part in because I wasnt drinking. My boss recently had a birthday party that I was a bit nervous about but there were actually alot of people surprisingly not drinking. Its funny how you notice other peoples sobriety once you are finally sober yourself. ALOT of people dont drink.
One thing Im starting to notice and Im not sure if its even related to my sobriety but Ive been losing my temper alot recently. Little things here and there become huge things. I ALWAYS had a bit of an "irritation" issue, or letting things get alot bigger than they have to be. Ive just felt like the past 3-4 days Ive just been in this terrible funk. Whats getting me nervous is that I can see how its affecting other people and I dont want to offend/hurt anyone. I had a current situation at work (for example) where the clients were just being super annoying and doing very unprofessional work and at one point I got so angry and irritated that my boss took over for a second. Thats when I was like "Oh **** this isnt good" because I love my job. Last thing I want is for my employers to to think I cant handle a stressful situation.
The other situations have been with my family, friends, boyfriend. Just things that I always realized the next day werent as serious as I thought at the moment.
I have always suffered from minor depression and I think maybe this just may be a bout of it but Im also curious to see if this is normal. I havent felt any extreme emotions since I started my sobriety so Im finding it odd that 3+ months later and now Im feeling anxious and out of my element.
Ive been on this journey of self discovery recently and I am going on a meditation retreat in a couple of weeks that will hopefully help with this and my currently irritation problem. Ive been saying for MONTHS that I really want to implicate meditation into my life DAILY but its just kind of impossible at times. I have this very ideal persona of myself with a calm perspective and spirituality and its just harder than I thought to achieve that.
Ive said it before and Ill keep saying it, my biggest concern has been and will always be about just being happy and sobriety has REALLY brought everything together for me. Im really happy Ive made the decision to stop. No regrets.
Its been a while since Ive last been on SR and even longer since Ive posted anything.
Today, Im at 3 months and 13 days and for the most part, things have been REALLY good.
Really havent had any problems with my sobriety besides a few missed social opportunities that I didnt want to take part in because I wasnt drinking. My boss recently had a birthday party that I was a bit nervous about but there were actually alot of people surprisingly not drinking. Its funny how you notice other peoples sobriety once you are finally sober yourself. ALOT of people dont drink.
One thing Im starting to notice and Im not sure if its even related to my sobriety but Ive been losing my temper alot recently. Little things here and there become huge things. I ALWAYS had a bit of an "irritation" issue, or letting things get alot bigger than they have to be. Ive just felt like the past 3-4 days Ive just been in this terrible funk. Whats getting me nervous is that I can see how its affecting other people and I dont want to offend/hurt anyone. I had a current situation at work (for example) where the clients were just being super annoying and doing very unprofessional work and at one point I got so angry and irritated that my boss took over for a second. Thats when I was like "Oh **** this isnt good" because I love my job. Last thing I want is for my employers to to think I cant handle a stressful situation.
The other situations have been with my family, friends, boyfriend. Just things that I always realized the next day werent as serious as I thought at the moment.
I have always suffered from minor depression and I think maybe this just may be a bout of it but Im also curious to see if this is normal. I havent felt any extreme emotions since I started my sobriety so Im finding it odd that 3+ months later and now Im feeling anxious and out of my element.
Ive been on this journey of self discovery recently and I am going on a meditation retreat in a couple of weeks that will hopefully help with this and my currently irritation problem. Ive been saying for MONTHS that I really want to implicate meditation into my life DAILY but its just kind of impossible at times. I have this very ideal persona of myself with a calm perspective and spirituality and its just harder than I thought to achieve that.
Ive said it before and Ill keep saying it, my biggest concern has been and will always be about just being happy and sobriety has REALLY brought everything together for me. Im really happy Ive made the decision to stop. No regrets.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Definately normal, well for me it was anyway. Sobriety goes in waves, highs and lows etc, 3 month mark is a weird thing as lots of people do get down and irritable, its fab you have posted here about it, as I crashed n burned at nearly 100 days sober. Just know that what you are feeling is just that feelings and they DO pass. If you are on antidepressants be sure to have a chat with your doctor, or if these feelings get worse. It takes time for our bodies and mind to recover from alcohol abuse, and it can be really confusing at times. Hang in there tho, it will pass and soon enough yout'll be experiencing the joys of sobriety once again. Bare in mind life in general is full of its ups and downs too, as recovering alcoholics most of us only knew drinking as a solution or a celebration, the natural joy of sobriety is amazing, but can be real real poop on the lows. What I would suggest is make a plan when the lows kick in - coming here talking it out is one of them, so congratulate yourself in doing that! X x x
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Kirky! We are sober buddies - my sobriety date is Feb 22 
Yes, I can relate to a lot of what you describe. The week of 90 days was actually quite bumpy for me - I just felt restless and out of sorts. I had a meltdown or two about a week or two before that; the good news (besides the fact that I didn't run out to drink, or really want to) was that because I was sober, I was able to rein myself in pretty quickly and not get into full blown tantrum mode. Big progress for me (as you say, even before my real drinking days this kind of thing was an August thing!). Right now, I have really been focusing on NOT losing it at the things I can't control, which I used to do a LOT. "Not my circus, not my monkeys" - telling myself I will think this is much less of a deal (x amount later) or stopping to think about it and deal if necessary - all are things I am consciously trying right now.
I guess it was really during the third month that I had more ugh days, ones where I put myself to bed early, as I call it, or just couldn't put a finger on what was wrong. Generally outpouring pissy-ness via text to vent, mostly to my mom bc we now talk a lot about stuff as I am progressing (she is a recovered alcoholic so this is familiar, if sometimes painful stuff).
Also re the meds and dr - I am so thankful for my psych for many reasons and feel like we have got me on the right combo of meds (I am Borderline and take meds for that, as well as Antabuse, and still acamprosate for anti-craving, plus lorazepam for anxiety, as needed, and seroquel for sleep, as needed).
This last week has been bunches of pink clouds for me. I anticipate all kinds of ups and downs but again just say - yes, what you have been going through is normal to me!
Let's keep going till 5 mos, 6 mos....journey-full. I know I am so glad I get the chance to be on it.
Yes, I can relate to a lot of what you describe. The week of 90 days was actually quite bumpy for me - I just felt restless and out of sorts. I had a meltdown or two about a week or two before that; the good news (besides the fact that I didn't run out to drink, or really want to) was that because I was sober, I was able to rein myself in pretty quickly and not get into full blown tantrum mode. Big progress for me (as you say, even before my real drinking days this kind of thing was an August thing!). Right now, I have really been focusing on NOT losing it at the things I can't control, which I used to do a LOT. "Not my circus, not my monkeys" - telling myself I will think this is much less of a deal (x amount later) or stopping to think about it and deal if necessary - all are things I am consciously trying right now.
I guess it was really during the third month that I had more ugh days, ones where I put myself to bed early, as I call it, or just couldn't put a finger on what was wrong. Generally outpouring pissy-ness via text to vent, mostly to my mom bc we now talk a lot about stuff as I am progressing (she is a recovered alcoholic so this is familiar, if sometimes painful stuff).
Also re the meds and dr - I am so thankful for my psych for many reasons and feel like we have got me on the right combo of meds (I am Borderline and take meds for that, as well as Antabuse, and still acamprosate for anti-craving, plus lorazepam for anxiety, as needed, and seroquel for sleep, as needed).
This last week has been bunches of pink clouds for me. I anticipate all kinds of ups and downs but again just say - yes, what you have been going through is normal to me!
Let's keep going till 5 mos, 6 mos....journey-full. I know I am so glad I get the chance to be on it.
Keep going, it gets better. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manhattan, New York
Posts: 83
Phew, thank you guys for giving me a bit of calmness that it is somewhat normal.
Its been pretty up and down since I wrote the post. I almost broke down in tears earlier today, stressful day.
I think ultimately that my depression is just all over the place and I was a bit shocked because its been MUCH better since I stopped drinking and then BAM. Im trying to keep me head up and stay as positive as I can.
I talked to my mother about it all recently and she said that she thinks that the retreat Im going on in a few weeks will help which I was hoping too. Once I get back, if Im still stuck in this rut, I'm definitely going to go and talk to a therapist or something. I keep fearing that there is some underlining motive to why I feel the way I do sometimes. I havent been to a therapist since I was 16 (Im 29 now) and I know it helped immensely back then. Its really nice to have this unjudgemental person that you can vent to.
Its been pretty up and down since I wrote the post. I almost broke down in tears earlier today, stressful day.
I think ultimately that my depression is just all over the place and I was a bit shocked because its been MUCH better since I stopped drinking and then BAM. Im trying to keep me head up and stay as positive as I can.
I talked to my mother about it all recently and she said that she thinks that the retreat Im going on in a few weeks will help which I was hoping too. Once I get back, if Im still stuck in this rut, I'm definitely going to go and talk to a therapist or something. I keep fearing that there is some underlining motive to why I feel the way I do sometimes. I havent been to a therapist since I was 16 (Im 29 now) and I know it helped immensely back then. Its really nice to have this unjudgemental person that you can vent to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 926
Yay for your sober time!
80-100 days = Emotional Rollercoaster for me.
I even resigned whilst on the phone to my boss during that time after having a bit of a melt down!
Luckily he didn't accept.
I'm pretty much on an even keel these days, as even as it gets for a middle aged weirdo that is. :-)
80-100 days = Emotional Rollercoaster for me.
I even resigned whilst on the phone to my boss during that time after having a bit of a melt down!
Luckily he didn't accept.
I'm pretty much on an even keel these days, as even as it gets for a middle aged weirdo that is. :-)
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