Third times a charm, right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 48
Third times a charm, right?
Here I am for the third time... Maybe fourth. Since November I have been been in the hospital 4 times because of suicidal tendencies, in a women's shelter because of abuse, left my husband again, and just left the shelter again with my kids. Alcohol has taken over my life because of abuse with my husband. Now I am home, with my three beautiful children, while my husband is in the field (military) and am struggling with my next move. Since its just me and babies now, I know alcohol cannot be part of my life. I need support and guidance. I need to know I am doing the right thing because right now I swimming in a sea of regret. I hope to find support and help here as I work toward my sobriety and embark on my life without my husband and being a single mom.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
((Serenity)) It doesn't matter the number of times you've tried. What matters is today. The fact that you're here and reaching out, shows your courage.
You'll find lots of support, kindness and compassion on SR. Lot's of single Mom's and others to relate to.
Try and live in the moment instead of focusing on regret. We can't change our past, but we can take control of today.
You'll find lots of support, kindness and compassion on SR. Lot's of single Mom's and others to relate to.
Try and live in the moment instead of focusing on regret. We can't change our past, but we can take control of today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Why not join one of the daily support threads?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-136-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-9.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-136-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-1-a-9.html
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back serenity - lots of good suggestions from folks here already. I'm very sorry to hear about the abuse from your husband and I'm glad you are in a safe place from that now. I think it's important to realize that we drink because we are alcoholics - not because of our environments. Sure, we try to use alcohol to "cope" but of course it doesn't work. In order for sobriety to work it's very important to recognize and accept our addiction for what it is..a separate and distinct issue, and do whatever we can to move forward. There are a lot of great suggestions here as to some resources you can find and use, i hope we can help you along the way too.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
Leaving can be so hard, I've been there. I kept hoping I'd get strong enough to leave but when someone is beating you down you can rarely get the strength or courage to do it. Or you get strong and then think you're strong enough to stay. Then there's the going back after you leave from fear. It's tough and I hope you have a good support system. I divorced my husband when my sons were 3 and 4. It can be done. I wish you the very best in taking care of yourself, children and getting sober.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
i relate
in my first year all i did was go to meetings, look at the girls and not drink.
that didn't work
got thrown into a locked psych ward 5150
i wanted to jump off the golden gate bridge
being in the psych ward convinced me of my lifes unmanageability
being convinced, i became ready and willing to take direction
when released i got a sponsor, did the 9 steps and got a much better life
still doing 10, 11 and 12 today
God bless
in my first year all i did was go to meetings, look at the girls and not drink.
that didn't work
got thrown into a locked psych ward 5150
i wanted to jump off the golden gate bridge
being in the psych ward convinced me of my lifes unmanageability
being convinced, i became ready and willing to take direction
when released i got a sponsor, did the 9 steps and got a much better life
still doing 10, 11 and 12 today
God bless
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Welcome back! My doctor once said to me, it doesn't matter how many times it takes, it is when you stop trying that you really need to start to worry..and that has stuck with me throughout my addiction and recovery.
Abuse can be all consuming. Have you considered getting a counselor and a psychiatrist to help you cope with the abuse you have suffered and to help you get going in the right direction mentally? Although many people are against the mental health field, I strongly believe that with the right doctor medications and counseling allows you to be the person you were always meant to be deep down inside. Getting on the proper medications for bipolar type 2 disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression have made all the difference in my ability to reach a strong and lasting recovery from heroin addiction.
The first step to being a good single mom, hell any type of good mom, is to stop abusing substances and getting into a strong lasting recovery. Do you have any family support you can lean on? A lot of people have found a lot of help in AA also. Journaling has allowed me to keep my thoughts, feelings, and experiences in check and in order and that has been a huge tool for me. Also making short term goals and long term goals have helped keep me on track.
You can do this, you are capable of overcoming and accomplishing anything. Those little girls do not have anyone but you right now, and while you cannot get sober for anyone but yourself, that doesn't mean they can't be constant reminders of what your future can hold for you and them if you decide to love and respect yourself so much that you choose to let NOTHING and NO ONE hold you down anymore, not any man and not any substance.
Don't ever give up on yourself, you can do this!
Abuse can be all consuming. Have you considered getting a counselor and a psychiatrist to help you cope with the abuse you have suffered and to help you get going in the right direction mentally? Although many people are against the mental health field, I strongly believe that with the right doctor medications and counseling allows you to be the person you were always meant to be deep down inside. Getting on the proper medications for bipolar type 2 disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression have made all the difference in my ability to reach a strong and lasting recovery from heroin addiction.
The first step to being a good single mom, hell any type of good mom, is to stop abusing substances and getting into a strong lasting recovery. Do you have any family support you can lean on? A lot of people have found a lot of help in AA also. Journaling has allowed me to keep my thoughts, feelings, and experiences in check and in order and that has been a huge tool for me. Also making short term goals and long term goals have helped keep me on track.
You can do this, you are capable of overcoming and accomplishing anything. Those little girls do not have anyone but you right now, and while you cannot get sober for anyone but yourself, that doesn't mean they can't be constant reminders of what your future can hold for you and them if you decide to love and respect yourself so much that you choose to let NOTHING and NO ONE hold you down anymore, not any man and not any substance.
Don't ever give up on yourself, you can do this!
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