wpainterw

I have grown fond of all those on this website and sometimes wonder what would happen if I die (I will be 90 next year). Would you all want to be notified somehow? Are there others out there who feel the same? Although we may never meet one another we have become friends, held together by a common bond, a terrible illness. Shouldn't there be a way to notify our website friends if something happens to us?


Bill

Meraviglioso

You know Bill, I've often thought of the same thing. I assume you have someone to handle your affairs once you have passed? You could include a line item asking that someone come on here and post with the news? I have thought of doing the same. I often get really sad and worried when people just disappear and it would be nice if we had some information and closure.

Seren

I'm sure many would want to know. In the past, if a member dies and they know another member IRL, then a post is made here or the Admins are notified somehow. Do you speak to some of the folks here 'off board', wpainterw? If so, that may be a way that the community here would learn.

sugarbear1

I love you from afar! You have helped me immensely in my sober journey. I would be deeply saddened to hear this kind of news, but I would be grateful to know.

I am honored to know you, even if it is online.

With Love and Hugs,
~SB

Opivotal

Yes, I would like to know.

You're a beloved member of our SR family.

Soberwolf

Yes we mourn our friends here Bill

ItWillBeWorthIt

It is an excellent idea to have someone that takes care of your affairs to post to SR and let everyone know of your passing.

We are family.

Even if someone takes a break from SR it is nice to know that they are fine, just getting away from the SR screen for awhile.

Please know everyone you are loved - we would be lost without each other.

JD

I'd also like to know Bill. Many of use "see" each other online every day. You do always wonder what happened if someone goes missing.

aasharon90

I try to remind myself to place all my
worries, fear, uncertainties in the hands
of God, my HP, as I understand Him.
In doing so, it takes that uncomfortable,
uneasiness feelings away for me about
the future, as none of us truly knows
what the future hold for us.

When I married my now husband 7 yrs
ago, I knew there was an 11 yrs age
difference between us. I truly believe
God brought both of us together for
a wonderful reason after he lost his
wife of 35 yrs due to a lengthy illness
and the end of my of 25 yr marriage.

There will be a time down the road
where I will be taking care of him or
maybe he will be taking care of me
for whatever reasons arise, however,
If I get too much into my head, my
own thinking about whether I will
be strong enough, mentally, spiritually,
emotionally, financially, I get scared.

It's those what ifs that catch me off
guard and need to dig deep into my
own recovery teachings and faith to
help me to depend strongly on my HP
for comfort, guidance, direction and strength.

If I am called first to leave this world,
my husband will know who to contact,
such as my emmediate family and of
course Sober Recovery, because he
knows that this is where I work my
program just about everyday.

If he doesn't come here to share
of my own passing, then someone
who knows me will have my permission
to let you guys know. Until then, my
will and life is safe in the hands of my
Lord.

No worries to lose sleep over.

wpainterw

Thanks so much! It's so good to know that I have been some help. When a person has had such a long period of drinking he or she feels very guilty and ashamed and tries to make up for it by reaching out and helping. That's what I do. But I still feel bad about it and cannot really accept that it was only an illness. I didn't have to drink so much. I did that because at first I wanted to fit in. Then, as time went on I found it increasingly difficult to give it up. I became addicted. From the first it was my elbow which raised the glass.

Bill.

ScottFromWI

We have had friends pass away here, we read about it every day unforutnately. Having said that, part of the foundation of SR is that it's largely anonymous - so unfortunately we don't always know what happens to people here when they leave - and that is by design. A lot of people probably wouldn't come here if they knew that they would be contacted personally outside of the forum if they went offline for a period of time.

wpainterw

If I die, it would be very difficult, and controversial, to attempt to contact me personally. But I don't mind. You can try if you want. I'll just try to say goodbye to everyone when the time comes. At least I can do that. Knowing you all has meant a lot to me.

Bill.

PennyLane76

Yes Bill, I would want to know. Many of us would worry if there were no more Bill posts. You are a very inspiring voice on SR for me. Once again here you are thinking of others Pragmatic and kind

Opivotal

We've had family log into the members account, and let us know of their passing.

No private information is shared, nor should it be.

Here's an example;

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cognito13.html

thomas11

Hi Bill, I am one that would certainly like to know. Since I have gotten sober I have felt a certain "closeness" to many people on this site. I know I am not as active as some, I do not PM many people, but this group keeps me together. I care about the members. Even Dee leaving leaves a bit of a void, and he wasn't always warm and fuzzy with me, but he shot me straight, just like I needed.

I have a list of people that I wonder how they are doing, or even if they are with us. They came, posted, and now they are gone.

Ultimately, I enjoy your posts immensely (as I do many folks here) and if something were to happen, I would hope you have a plan in place as to inform the people that care about you.

sidenote: In fact, since you brought this up, tonight I will share my login info with my wife and give her a brief tutorial so if something were to happen to me, she could let you guys know. That is if folks here would care to know.

MIRecovery

Hell yes! Just because we dead doesn't mean we are gone. Our experience strength and hope will live on in our posts long after we have left this earth. In many ways they will be more valid because we died sober

tursiops999

I would like to hear the news, Bill. I do get to "know" people and care about them as I read their posts, and would want to know if they had passed.

Anna

Yes, Bill, I would definitely want to know, but I hope you have many more years with us.

Over the years we have found that members here have passed away and it's a blessing to have that information and to grieve for the loss of the person. I think Opi's example of Ncognito's brother posting on his brother's account is a good one.

Meraviglioso

Bill, can I ask you how you are feeling? You've had a couple of posts recently talking about your wife's health issues and I imagine at 90 years old you start to ponder what death will be like. Western culture generally shies away from talking about death openly, it is not the cheeriest of subjects, for sure. Are you afraid? Nervous? Curious? Of course I don't know you in real life but here on the forum you sound like you are in great shape, you sure have your wits about you, that's for sure. I hope you have many more years with us but if you want to talk about things that worry you I know many of us, myself included, will be here to lend an ear. Take your vitamins, take those nice walks in the fresh air and DON'T DRINK!
Sending you a big hug, thanks for being here.

wpainterw

Thanks so much Mera! Viva Italia! Viva Mera! I'm feeling just fine, although a little lonely. Most of my friends (all but one) present when we got married 61 years ago are dead. To make up for that we've had a long succession of dogs. The key to a meaningful life is dogs and a laugh or two. If only one could tame an Hyena, one could get a "Laughing Hyena" (do they really laugh?)
Yes, approaching 90 I do think about death. What's going to happen? Anything? Or nothing. Nothingness. But if there is nothing, is that nothing still "something" (who created the "nothing"?). I like what Madam Flora, Jean Carlo Menotti's "Medium", said in a drunken stupor. ("Who's there! Who? Nothing? Nothing! But if there is Nothing, why am I so afraid of that Nothingness!") Existential angst. Yet if there is nothing there is no one to be afraid of that nothing. But the thought of all this vanishing is appalling. I have been drawn to Buddhism and Taoism, which I understand asserts that all is an illusion, Taoism's "Ten Thousand Things". And the "Self", also an illusion. But if the "Self" is really not there how can there be an "illusion" since there would be no one to mistake it for real? My wife tells a story about her grandmother who had a dream that she suddenly perceived the meaning of it all! So she woke up and wrote down the Meaning on a slip of paper. When morning came she looked at the paper and it said, "Roll me over and bump me against the wall!!!"
Is everyone having fun with this or do you want me to stop? If "me" is an illusion, then how can "I" "stop"?
I know what you're feeling, or imagine you're feeling right now, The Zen Buddhists of Japan tell how when a disciple asked a Master, "Oh Great One! What is the meaning of it all?" the disciple got hit with a brick. And when he said, "But Master! You haven't told me what is the meaning!" he got hit with another brick. ...
So aren't you sorry you asked how I was doing? It's only a website so you won't get hit with a brick. Rest easy and don't call 911 to haul me away to the Funny Farm.

Bill.