Another "unique" alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Ga
Posts: 251
Another "unique" alcoholic
I stopped drinking back in October for a couple of months then started back after I had a physical and everything looked great. I'm back to drinking pretty much every night. But I almost never get hammered. I'll get 2 or 3 two drink bottles of liquor (the equivalent of 4-6 drinks a night with an occasional beer mixed in). But I'm not honest with my wife about it- she doesn't know. She drinks socially, we just got back from a vacation to Italy where we drank wine every night. I really enjoy the little buzz I get after work, but I know this is nonsense. Hiding it and at some point I fear it is going to impact my health is not good, but it is hard for me to get serious about quitting when I'm not waking up feeling like hell and am otherwise healthy. There is no doubt I'm an alcoholic, I crave/ enjoy the drink after work far too much.
What is a mindset that can motivate me to stop?
What is a mindset that can motivate me to stop?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
we're all unique....
addiction is much less unique.
It follows patterns.
one pattern is that we will only establish a 'mindset' that will motivate us to stop when we finally make a genuine choice that we really want to.
the point at which we all come to make that decision is also unique.
some will choose to avoid a lot of pain and suffering, recognizing the road they're on and wishing instead to live a better life, sooner.
some will choose to escape a despairing pit of awfulness when it finally gets so bad that they feel whatever challenges sobriety may take - it will still be better than the hell they are enduring in addiction.
and some will choose to ride it out to the ultimate end, and take their addiction to the grave.
so, in terms of mindset - you could start by reflecting on which of those three paths you think you'd like to choose.
addiction is much less unique.
It follows patterns.
one pattern is that we will only establish a 'mindset' that will motivate us to stop when we finally make a genuine choice that we really want to.
the point at which we all come to make that decision is also unique.
some will choose to avoid a lot of pain and suffering, recognizing the road they're on and wishing instead to live a better life, sooner.
some will choose to escape a despairing pit of awfulness when it finally gets so bad that they feel whatever challenges sobriety may take - it will still be better than the hell they are enduring in addiction.
and some will choose to ride it out to the ultimate end, and take their addiction to the grave.
so, in terms of mindset - you could start by reflecting on which of those three paths you think you'd like to choose.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
You have to find the motivation to want to stop. It's not easy to do and you need to really be motivated in order to make it work. I think that hiding your drinking from your wife should be a sign that it's time to stop. I hope you decide to stop before things get worse. One thing I know is that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will worsen unless you stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,899
Alcoholism is progressive, and no one who drinks alcoholically is immune.
If things aren't "too bad" right now, give it time. The alcoholic progression will make your life suck worse than you can imagine.
That lovely wife you are hiding your drinking from, could leave you . . .
Your good physical health will deteriorate, alcohol abuse and aging are a powerful combination . . .
That job you work at, could be lost because of your drinking . . .
And the time of day that you enjoy that "little buzz" may change from after work, to first thing in the morning to get you through yet another miserable hangover . . .
If things aren't "too bad" right now, give it time. The alcoholic progression will make your life suck worse than you can imagine.
That lovely wife you are hiding your drinking from, could leave you . . .
Your good physical health will deteriorate, alcohol abuse and aging are a powerful combination . . .
That job you work at, could be lost because of your drinking . . .
And the time of day that you enjoy that "little buzz" may change from after work, to first thing in the morning to get you through yet another miserable hangover . . .
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
You clearly believe you are an alcoholic. 6 drinks every night and an occasional beer is a lot. Plus the hiding.
It sounds like you don't need a stick, you need a carrot.
Since you don't feel poorly and are not suffering badly as a result, then it is not so bad that it is motivation for you to quit.
Maybe you need a goal or the proverbial "carrot" to motivate you.
My first thought is train for a race - a marathon or triathlon. Or, go to school. You can't study at night if you're drunk! - yes, I know some of you have :-)
Or, whatever drives you.
It sounds like you don't need a stick, you need a carrot.
Since you don't feel poorly and are not suffering badly as a result, then it is not so bad that it is motivation for you to quit.
Maybe you need a goal or the proverbial "carrot" to motivate you.
My first thought is train for a race - a marathon or triathlon. Or, go to school. You can't study at night if you're drunk! - yes, I know some of you have :-)
Or, whatever drives you.
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