StacyR

I came to this forum because my husband hit rock bottom in his addiction and I was looking for some sort of hope. 3 months ago, I was a pretty straight arrow, no drugs, no drinking...I would claim he did enough for both of us. As he got sober, I quickly found that I thought I could only find peace from his dramas in the chemical form.
Tomorrow will be my Day 1. I have replaced my brokeness with what broke me in the first place. I have tried to quit once already this month and thought I was going to die...my only solace was the pills left in the bottom of the bottle.
Please someone......tell me that this feeling of doom goes away and I can endure the shakes and hallucinations of withdrawal.
I do not want to walk the road I am on any more. I have grown tired of fighting. I am just so tired.

fantail

Stacy, you can do it. It does get better. The anxiety gets much, much better.

What kind of pills are you detoxing from, though? If it's benzos, you need to see a doctor. You can't detox from those safely alone.

It's good to see a doctor no matter what you're coming off of, but alcohol and benzodiazepine withdrawals in particular can actually be deadly.

StacyR

Percocet, ambien and alcohol

Mostly the percocets because they are less detectable to the folks around me.

IvanMike

Been there, done that.

NA and the steps worked for me. I haven't had to worry about being sick for a while now. The feelings of doom have left as well, but those aren't just about withdrawal, are they?

How long were you really using?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Stacy. The doom and anxiety of withdrawal is temporary, that we can assure you. Having said that they can be dangerous too, i'd highly recommend seeing a doctor or even the ER if you are having hallucinations and shakes - better to be safe than sorry.

thomas11

All three of those are associated with some type of withdrawal symptoms. If a medical detox is an option, I would seriously consider it. I wish you the best.

StacyR

Honestly, I have used recreationally for more than 25 years....
But not today.

Soberwolf

it will go away & keep going away the longer you stay sober & how much you work on recovering

I think reading recovery & spiritual literature really helps in a recovery plan

LostManhattan

Hi Stacy, it's LostM. I'm an alcoholic. The fear and loathing from drinking/using is awful. You can leave it in the rear view and it will get better.

Making an assumption but I'm guessing the percocets are your biggest issue. Not judging but maybe after 25 years you could stop defining your using as recreational. What say you?

StacyR

Hey LostM....I think you are right. I am an addict. I have lost control. I am powerless over my addiction and my life has become unmanageable.
Day 1 is nearly over.
I have been able to stay busy but things are about to get dark, quiet and still around the Farm. I will choose meditation. I will choose peace.

Anna

I'm glad you're getting through the day and evening, Stacy.