Quick thanks
Quick thanks
Thanks all for the support and comments this weekend when I was battling the AV. I did read and appreciate it all but didn't respond a whole lot in the midst of it all because quite frankly I wasn't in a pleasant mood about it all :-). Upon some reflection I did want to make sure to acknowledge my appreciAtion to you all :-)
Interestingly I spent several hours having a mental debate that day. I even contacted a friend who moderates with success (long story ).... I said "it would be easier if your just tell me I can moderate - I know you won't but it would be easier." She quickly said, " no way I'd tell you that!"
Mentally I deferred the decision til my yard work was done... I decided I kind of didn't care if I had to start over at day one. I'd just quit posting here though I knew eventually I'd feel guilty for that and have to do the walk of shame (my words - it's how I would feel) and limo back here eventually and explain myself. Then til later as I rolled around in my head how I would explain changing course to my kids. And I couldn't resolve in my head how I could possibly justify it to them ... And that's what kept me from drinking.
Mentally I deferred the decision til my yard work was done... I decided I kind of didn't care if I had to start over at day one. I'd just quit posting here though I knew eventually I'd feel guilty for that and have to do the walk of shame (my words - it's how I would feel) and limo back here eventually and explain myself. Then til later as I rolled around in my head how I would explain changing course to my kids. And I couldn't resolve in my head how I could possibly justify it to them ... And that's what kept me from drinking.
Good job not caving. Those moderation thoughts, turned to action were how I relapsed twice. I'm only on my 13th day. I have to admit that the thought also occurred to me today, as I am struggling somewhat. I'll probably end up going to bed by 8:00. LOL. Hope tomorrow is better (2 weeks). Hang in there ICanDoBetter. I'm rooting for you.
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