Eauchiche

Never thought I'd see the day. An old friend asked to meet over the weekend to discuss the situation with his adult live in alcoholic stepdaughter. He is asking me if all people to serve as an accountability partner/ moral support. I am fine with this. The problem is, his wife has an evident problem with pills. He wants to include her in our meetings. She drives me crazy. Have any of you long timers had any experience in tactfully handling a situation like this? Your input would be greatly appreciated!?!

CodeJob

this is interesting. I think I would ask to meet him alone first. I think part of that initial conversation is discussing the need for total honesty about addiction in the home - adult kid and wife. Being honest and upfront.

What do you think?

Eauchiche

Thanks, CodeJob
Absolutely right.
I can't handle sitting with a blabbering addict right now, and this is one of my personal boundaries.
Now the choice is, do I address this head-on, or just avoid the situation? Avoidance in my past has resulted in a lot of fretting and stress. If I tell him I suspect his wife is an addict, I might start a war....
At our first meeting, he talked all about his alcoholic step-daughter. I am under the impression that he is clueless about his wife.

dandylion

Eauchiche.....I learned a lesson a long time ago......from a psychiatrist that I worked with.....he said: "Dandylion...you must never treat family or friends....because you have to be able to TELL THEM THE TRUTH. If we treat friends or family the way we MUST treat patients...we would have no family or friends left". And, I have found out that he was so right!

If I were in your shoes, I would just tell him that I am too close to the situation to be objective.....(but, then, again, that is just me).....

dandylion

Eauchiche

Thanks Dandy!!!!

Hawkeye13

I agree with dandy. . . it's a habit I have