behindblueyes

I have panic disorder with PTSD diagnosed. I am so afraid to go to sleep without the use of medications. The old me would drink to sleep. However, now I wake up with panic every night from nightmares or I wake up thinking about all the horrible things I have said or done in the past.

Sometimes, I will wake up and have such awful guilt I just can't sleep at all. It's like someone punching me in the stomach. It's so real and painful. How does anyone cope with this? I even went and took a benzo the other day just to get an hour of sleep. It was expired since I hate these drugs and am trying to remain clean.

Is anyone else struggling with horrible nights? Just thinking about going to bed tonight and having to wake up in a panic has me scared. Tea is all I am using now but it just doesn't work. I have so much guilt and remorse and I can't even pinpoint the cause. Help?

Dee74

do you have a Dr or therapist BBE?

D

behindblueyes

I have a doctor who gave me the benzos. I got addicted. He also tried seroquel. My therapist gave me effexor which had me so scared and paranoid that I am off everything now and am not seeing anyone anymore.

Astro

Do you pray and meditate over the guilt and remorse, or discuss it with a mentor? I'm currently not sleeping well due to some regrets I have, and find that talking it out helps at least a little.

greens

I have the same issue, falling asleep can actually be a trigger and Its like my brain fights it. There are a lot of different things that help, but there's been no magic fix for me. I finally saw a sleep specialist last week and so far I've been falling asleep a little earlier.

I feel like I always find something that works short term but not long term. Right now I'm doing all the homework the specilaist gave me, turning off electronics at night, setting my alarm at the same time everyday, and getting natural sunlight in the morning. She also gave me permission to take a medication for depression earlier in the day since one of its side effects is trouble sleeping.

It was refreshing to hear someone else say that falling asleep is anxiety provoking, it's not something I often tell people about. Have drs been helpful to you at all? Sometimes it feels like those of us with mental illness have to jump through all these hoops and get treated differently and it feels so helpless.

I really hope you get things sorted out, talking to a good dr can be so relieving. Do you have that available to you? You mentioned benzos in your past, my current drs are always informed of my history of opiate abuse so they can take that into account if they have to prescribe me anything . There are options that are non habit forming. Best wishes ~~

sloangrace

I too have the same issue, I always drank to sleep, it helped more than anything. Now it's insomnia and reflecting on all my mistakes drinking have caused.. Already having bad dreams and panic attacks. I'm sorry to hear you struggle with this too 😔

Nofearnobeer

Same here...Scared to sleep for some reason..Keep waking up in panic mode.. I have no idea why, except like the rest of you, I used to drink to get some sleep...Now that that is gone for the last 8 months , it's been a challenge to sleep. Just overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. I seem to wake me up every 2 hours or so. Just have a feeling of dread come over me.I have no idea where the feeling even comes from, but it makes me want to jump out of my skin.

Zanna

I can't sleep without a little background noise. I have a radio talk channel on low..almost too low...and it's just enough to distract my brain from over-thinking. Worth a try x

4thegirls

I am like this too.i wake up in a panic that Im going to die from drinking. Horrible dreams. Sadness. Fear of leaving my daughters without a mother. I was prescribed Gabapebtin for anxiety but I'm still drinking and afraid it's going to kill me taking it and drinking.

ChloeRose63

I have terrible dreams. I really like to sleep and need to rest but, I, too, cannot shut out the anxious thoughts. I sleep with the tv on low to distract my mind but, sometimes even a program will give me a flashback and the thoughts and feelings come rushing in. I drink teas and take valarian root and magnesium. I am trying visualization and meditation, too. I am hoping it will pass after the holidays.

4thegirls

I do this too. Listen to books on my phone to fall asleep, but then wake up a few hours later, panicked, usually from a nightmare, like now lol. Had a dream I was left alone in the basement of a haunted house. I guess it's reflective of how I feel lol

Astro

I wish you all a night of good rest, I still have some rough nights but for the most part the nightmares have diminished with continued sobriety and lavender oil helps me to sleep for longer stretches of time.