Alcoblog
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Alcoblog
Need to quit. Been a while since I felt this committed. Don't know how long it will last. I feel really discouraged right now but I think it would be helpful for me to log how I feel right now and for the next few days on this thread. Hope this isn't a waste of space. I haven't gone a day without booze for the last month and a half and my drinking has really escalated. I managed three weeks before that but feel that I was only really sober when I managed a year without booze 4 years ago. No more excuses now.
Right now I can really feel the anxiety setting in. I know it's withdrawals but I've never done relief drinking. From past experience it lasts about 3 days at its worse so at least I have the weekend to recover. Wish I hadn't drunk last night though. I feel so edgy and short right now. Doesn't help that I only got 3 hours sleep last night.
Right now I can really feel the anxiety setting in. I know it's withdrawals but I've never done relief drinking. From past experience it lasts about 3 days at its worse so at least I have the weekend to recover. Wish I hadn't drunk last night though. I feel so edgy and short right now. Doesn't help that I only got 3 hours sleep last night.
This can totally be your thread to chronicle your progress and thoughts while quitting drinking; the more you post, the more we'll read and encourage you. That's what this amazing site does best! Stick around...Arp
What are you going to do different this time?
I reached the point of desperation brokenness when the drugs (of which alcohol was just one) stopped working. Sure, I still got loaded, but I still felt like me. I couldn't escape any longer, not enough.
I did not want to go to meetings (NA in my case, but the steps are the steps). But I was desperate, so I went every day. Sometimes twice a day.
I didn't want to stop using, but I did, and renewed my commitment every day. I called someone before I used. I stayed clean one day at a time.
I did not want to get a sponsor and work the steps, but once again I was desperate, and I started to meet some guys in the fellowship who clearly had what I wanted, they were comfortable in their own skin. However, they had been where I was. They let me know that NA (and AA) were 12 step programs, not going to meeting programs.
I have found that NA (and AA) work only if you actually do the work. Any other recovery programs will have the same caveat. None of them are magical.
We all understand how you feel. We've all been there. No one goes to SR or AA or NA because they feel great and their life is wonderful.
The real question is not how you feel, but what are you willing to do to recover?
I reached the point of desperation brokenness when the drugs (of which alcohol was just one) stopped working. Sure, I still got loaded, but I still felt like me. I couldn't escape any longer, not enough.
I did not want to go to meetings (NA in my case, but the steps are the steps). But I was desperate, so I went every day. Sometimes twice a day.
I didn't want to stop using, but I did, and renewed my commitment every day. I called someone before I used. I stayed clean one day at a time.
I did not want to get a sponsor and work the steps, but once again I was desperate, and I started to meet some guys in the fellowship who clearly had what I wanted, they were comfortable in their own skin. However, they had been where I was. They let me know that NA (and AA) were 12 step programs, not going to meeting programs.
I have found that NA (and AA) work only if you actually do the work. Any other recovery programs will have the same caveat. None of them are magical.
We all understand how you feel. We've all been there. No one goes to SR or AA or NA because they feel great and their life is wonderful.
The real question is not how you feel, but what are you willing to do to recover?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Thanks. I think I'm over the worse of it for today and will not be swigging anything. At least till tomorrow. Then it'll be yet another day. The anxiety is still pretty bad but not through the roof. My muscles are starting to ache like crap though. Like I've run 10miles.
Good news is you never have to feel this way again. Every part of our lives does get better each and every day we choose not to poison it with our addictions. I look forward to seeing this accountability thread grow on a daily basis. Wishing you the best today, priceyjunk!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Day 2 now. First time in a long time I'm living without a strong sense of guilt or shame. Anxiety isn't so bad now, more a vague worry I'll stuff it up again. But day 3 is usually when things get really bad again. Will just have to watch myself very carefully today. Wish me luck!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Still going strong. Not near my most vulnerable period yet. But life is sure throwing quite a few curve balls. Car's broken down, family are being difficult today. Also have have been forced to cancel one of my evenings next week that was meant to help me stay away from booze. Already o can feel myself planning for a relapse! But I have to hold on. The anxiety is also mounting now.
Still going strong. Not near my most vulnerable period yet. But life is sure throwing quite a few curve balls. Car's broken down, family are being difficult today. Also have have been forced to cancel one of my evenings next week that was meant to help me stay away from booze. Already o can feel myself planning for a relapse! But I have to hold on. The anxiety is also mounting now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Flare up of temptation again. Anxiety less, so less to prevent me from thinking about the consequences of taking a drink. But of a struggle at the moment.
I have this problem where I associate certain foods with having a type of drink , especially foods I like. Like barbecue with a beer. So that's another trigger for me. Maybe I should just try to have a sandwich tonight. I don't tend to associate sandwiches with any type of drink. My family will think I'm crazy
I have this problem where I associate certain foods with having a type of drink , especially foods I like. Like barbecue with a beer. So that's another trigger for me. Maybe I should just try to have a sandwich tonight. I don't tend to associate sandwiches with any type of drink. My family will think I'm crazy
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