zlhzlh

I am really struggling today, how can I avoid this trigger when it's the sunshine.......my AV is screaming today, worse than it's been for ages. I have just seen a pic of my daughter enjoying life with her mates they are all in a beer garden, I just want to join them and sit in the sunshine and laugh and chill.....the thought of never doing this saddens me 😵

bluedog97

It's easy to remember the good times and romanticize alcohol. I'm sure we're all guilty of it. But remember the bad times. If I could sit in a beer garden and drink one or two, I wouldn't be here. Keep the eye on the prize, I've been told. Stay strong!

firstymer

You will sit in the sun again. You will laugh again. You will chill again.

You just won't do those things with alcohol.

It's not the end of the world. It is the beginning of a new life. A better life. You just need to stay focused. And stay strong.

SolidKarma

I can totally relate to this...The hardest part about quitting alcohol for me was the 'good' times I had. The times where I was with good friends, just relaxing with a beer.

But then I think about reality. Those times were fun, but not what I wanted. What I wanted was to drink TONS of beer, all the time. Whether it was for a special occasion or not.

Good luck and stay strong!

entropy1964

Well if you keep drinking you will eventually end up like me...unable to conjure any good drinking times. A blessing because I really can't romanticize alcohol. A curse because I've descended that deeply into the hole. If I drink? Its because I want to get drunk. Nothing romantic about it.

maimaitreya

Eventually the sun goes down and you'll be wasted in the dark, and we all know where that goes.(for who knows how long)

Rar

I hear you! I just finished a round of golf in 92* weather. On the way home, I was thinking how good a cold beer would taste, especially since my game wasn't all that great. Hubby is on his 2nd beer and I am drinking a liter of cold key lime seltzer. I know when I go to bed tonight, I'll be glad I didn't cave. The sunshine is one of my MANY triggers. too.

AnvilheadII

think about your "reaction" here......you look at a picture of your DAUGHTER, but that's not what you SEE. its not that you want to be sitting with HER in the sun - but instead its the BEER.

Soberwolf

ZlhZlh out of the endless possibilities of things to do with your daughter don't get hung up on never drinking in a beer garden again you should be happy and why not plan a outing to a park with your daughter with real gardens much much better & happiness guaranteed in a lovely real garden setting wouldn't you say ?

thomas11

Some of the greatest times of my life involved drinking alcohol, but like many things, I pushed it too far and sucked every bit of fun out of it completely. Towards the end, there was no joy in it. Hang in there, rootin for ya.

maimaitreya

Hi zlhzlh, how are you today?

Dee74

I'm not sure it's possible to avoid all triggers...I think it's probably more useful to learn to deal with them anyway

Is your trigger really sunshine tho, or FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)?
Maybe a little anger resentment and a sense of loss as well? It was for me.

I learned to rebuild my life - I made new memories - I worked out new things to do in the summer - walks, picnics, sports...and I found new people to share my summer with who didn't spent in the back garden of a bar.

All of those things took time - but I don;t feel envious of other people's summers anymore

D

bringm32lif30

This is the biggest struggle for me.... to romantisize alcohol, and never realized I do that. I feel jealousy of people who can drink without wanting to get drunk and just have a good time. But that was just not the case for me...once I start, I could not stop. Being sober and in a good place for 2-3 moths and I decide that I will be fine, I'm good, but always end up black out drunk and feeling ashamed in the next day, not remembering what I did even infront of people I don't know.
Just too much people everywhere seems so happy while they are drinking.
My triggers would be festivals in nature where everyone is drinking fancy drinks and wine, and relaxing, laughing having a great time. But for me this is trap...If I take a drink I will end up not remembering anything, and feeling ashamed.

zlhzlh

Mai, thank you. I feel betterish! But am struggling with this time of year, yesterday I spent the day out on the sea, I came home feeling exhausted in such a good way....the moment has passed and I am not feeling as left out any more!

Berrybean

One of the things that helped me with sunshine / beachy holidays etc was remembering why I enjoyed them as a child - BEFORE I grew to associate them with alcohol, and try hard to rekindle that feeling and those memories.

If my county is anything to go by, it looks like you're safe from the sunshine trigger today. Blooming freezing!

skipper123

Summer is a trigger for me too but so is the cold winter nights. I am glad you stayed strong and didn't drink!!

zlhzlh

Skipper123, I find winters just as bad but its not so in your face! I tend to stay at home inside in the winter and would cope with things, summer days, people are out, beer gardens full, people everywhere outside enjoying the sun with a glass.........its hard to avoid, and when we get invited to garden parties..its pretty tough having to make excuses not to go all of the time! I want to go...i want to enjoy the moment but its impossible when everyone is drinking and literally pouring your glass as you walk through the gates.

Camery03

I feel your pain... summer is tough! It is Harley Davidson and summer fun festival season in Milwaukee. I see all the posts of friends and family drinking beer listening to local bands, and wish I was there. But then I think of how far I have come and quickly change my mind. It'll come in due time.
And, the next day the posts are all about the same people nursing their hangover-- something I will NEVER miss.

maimaitreya

Taking care of our sobriety can mean cutting out some activities or social occasions for awhile or even forever. Make friends with and cherish the nondrinking you, cause you're awesome.

zlhzlh

Love the support from this group, it truly has helped me in times of weakness....my husband is an amazing support, but lately I have heard my AV loudly and its been telling me to have a drink alone like before....i know what's happening, but am trying really hard to overcome this ! I am keeping busy and trying to avoid situations, I am always so very grateful for all of your comments and everything that has been said is all so true. Thank you, another day almost done. I will get through this sticky patch, I am not gonna start all over again!