Can you talk me into it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Can you talk me into it?
As promised on Monday, I finally sought medical help today. Doctor is recommending treatment at facility in neighboring town. My insurance has a high deductible, so a little worried about that.
As I walked to my car, I thought: "Do I REALLY need medical help and treatment? It's not that big of a deal, is it? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really that vital that I quit?"
Here are the facts, and I am looking for more experienced and objective heads to convince me what I am doing is necessary.
- Joined SR in December, started attending AA meetings.
-Excessive binge drinking including blackouts and getting very sick every 3-7 days since September.
-Consistently consuming excessive amounts after promising myself I won't
-Woke up still drunk a number of times in the last 6 months
- Have broken all my limits and rules within weeks of setting them (beer/wine only, no drinking during the week, no more than 3 at a time).
- Have drove drunk and not remembered where I parked
-Have considered suicide while drunk
-Cut all my hair off (for an unknown reason)
-Smashed a television
-Physically abused a SO in a blackout rage
-Injured myself (including finding bumps and bruises and can't recall where from)
-Missed work
-Lied, lied, lied, lied, lied
-Violated my own moral code
I realize it is pretty obvious after reading this list... but my AV still tells me I'm overreacting by seeking medical help.
Can you experienced (or even not so experienced) folks who have been through hell and back reassure me that I need to take any measures necessary to stop this? That medical treatment is not an overreaction?
Sorry to be a petulant child here, just really at a cross roads and need support and wisdom from people with a little perspective
As I walked to my car, I thought: "Do I REALLY need medical help and treatment? It's not that big of a deal, is it? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really that vital that I quit?"
Here are the facts, and I am looking for more experienced and objective heads to convince me what I am doing is necessary.
- Joined SR in December, started attending AA meetings.
-Excessive binge drinking including blackouts and getting very sick every 3-7 days since September.
-Consistently consuming excessive amounts after promising myself I won't
-Woke up still drunk a number of times in the last 6 months
- Have broken all my limits and rules within weeks of setting them (beer/wine only, no drinking during the week, no more than 3 at a time).
- Have drove drunk and not remembered where I parked
-Have considered suicide while drunk
-Cut all my hair off (for an unknown reason)
-Smashed a television
-Physically abused a SO in a blackout rage
-Injured myself (including finding bumps and bruises and can't recall where from)
-Missed work
-Lied, lied, lied, lied, lied
-Violated my own moral code
I realize it is pretty obvious after reading this list... but my AV still tells me I'm overreacting by seeking medical help.
Can you experienced (or even not so experienced) folks who have been through hell and back reassure me that I need to take any measures necessary to stop this? That medical treatment is not an overreaction?
Sorry to be a petulant child here, just really at a cross roads and need support and wisdom from people with a little perspective
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
No one can talk you into it, but it sounds like a very good thing to let someone help you. Take full advantage of the resource, absolutely. Money can be replaced - sanity and health cannot.
I wish you well. I think it's pretty normal for a drinking alcoholic to balk once they've decided to get help. Follow through, the end result is so worth it. Sobriety is worth going to any lengths to get it.
I wish you well. I think it's pretty normal for a drinking alcoholic to balk once they've decided to get help. Follow through, the end result is so worth it. Sobriety is worth going to any lengths to get it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
nope.
I can't talk you into it.
especially if after making that list, you honestly believe there's any chance you're "overreacting by seeking medical help."
I DO hope that you'll get whatever help and support you can in order to grab onto sobriety with all you've got, because I promise it will be infinitely more joyous and good than what you're describing your life is now.
I can't talk you into it.
especially if after making that list, you honestly believe there's any chance you're "overreacting by seeking medical help."
I DO hope that you'll get whatever help and support you can in order to grab onto sobriety with all you've got, because I promise it will be infinitely more joyous and good than what you're describing your life is now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
2 simple questions.
1) Do YOU want to quit drinking?
2) Can YOU do it on your own?
If you need help there is no shame. In addition, the high deductible excuse is BS. If you can afford to pay for booze for a year. You can afford to pay the deductible. Lastly, how much will a DUI or worse cost you?
You next step... Could be the best move of your life.
1) Do YOU want to quit drinking?
2) Can YOU do it on your own?
If you need help there is no shame. In addition, the high deductible excuse is BS. If you can afford to pay for booze for a year. You can afford to pay the deductible. Lastly, how much will a DUI or worse cost you?
You next step... Could be the best move of your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Well from your list, yes, you need to do something drastic to change your life. What that is and when that is is up to you. Ultimately I had to learn, and it seems to be taking me an awfully long time, that I must do this for myself. Others will benefit, mainly my kiddo, but its got to be for me. And only I can do it. Yes, I need help, lots of it. But I have, time and time again, not taken the help offered me. So the ball is my court so to speak. And the ball is in yours. Just know that if you decide to keep on the path you're on, that list will get much worse.
BTW, I cut my hair off....twice. First time I donated it after I sobered up to locks for love. At least there was that.
BTW, I cut my hair off....twice. First time I donated it after I sobered up to locks for love. At least there was that.
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
If your doctor can't talk you into it, what chance do we have?
Seriously: you have a potentially life -threatening illness and you are considering something else rather than following medical advice?
That tells me that you are suffering from alcoholism -- one of the few illnesses that tells us we haven't got it.
You mentioned attending AA meetings.
Have you a sponsor?
Are you working through the steps?
I imagine a similar thought process with you concluding that it's not that bad.
Not bad enough to give yourself a chance with the programme of AA -- not just sitting and listening in meetings.
And you know: you probably aren't as bad as needing all that help, medical or otherwise . . .
YET !
The sad thing is: that for some of us, when we finally realise, admit or accept that our alcoholism is or WAS that bad . . .
it's too late for anyone to help us.
We have all seen it happen.
Do you hear what I am saying?
Seriously: you have a potentially life -threatening illness and you are considering something else rather than following medical advice?
That tells me that you are suffering from alcoholism -- one of the few illnesses that tells us we haven't got it.
You mentioned attending AA meetings.
Have you a sponsor?
Are you working through the steps?
I imagine a similar thought process with you concluding that it's not that bad.
Not bad enough to give yourself a chance with the programme of AA -- not just sitting and listening in meetings.
And you know: you probably aren't as bad as needing all that help, medical or otherwise . . .
YET !
The sad thing is: that for some of us, when we finally realise, admit or accept that our alcoholism is or WAS that bad . . .
it's too late for anyone to help us.
We have all seen it happen.
Do you hear what I am saying?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Thailand
Posts: 824
You have to decide for yourself. Our addict voice is like a washed up & deluded motivational speaker, it will always think it's possible, no matter the odds or consequences.
What I do know about addiction is that it gets worse so the situations you find yourself in are worse.
Imagine all those things x3 - that's in the post unless you change. Mind you I've known heaps of people get way worse before they decided they had a problem.
It doesn't sound like much fun (correct me if I'm wrong please) getting drunk so think about what your AV is doing to help you.
Keep the faith
What I do know about addiction is that it gets worse so the situations you find yourself in are worse.
Imagine all those things x3 - that's in the post unless you change. Mind you I've known heaps of people get way worse before they decided they had a problem.
It doesn't sound like much fun (correct me if I'm wrong please) getting drunk so think about what your AV is doing to help you.
Keep the faith
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
I can tell you life has been much better sober. I have never been to an inpatient rehab. Mera has a wonderful post about her journey through rehab. It is inspiring and shares her struggles and successes, you should read through it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Lovetolisten, I surely can't talk you into it, but I can try 
I had a similar list, my life was a horrible mess and I was miserable, absolutely miserable nearly all of the time. If you want proof to back that up you can go look through some of my old posts prior to going to rehab. There would be too many to mention here, but I posted here frequently before, during and after moments of real crisis.
I finally listened to the advice of the people here as well as my psychiatrist and went to rehab. For years I thought rehab was an overreaction but eventually there was so denying that I needed severe help. I mean it when i say I wish I had gone sooner. It was the best thing I have ever done. It was such a positive experience for me. I safely detoxed, I had space away from responsibilities to confront this problem, I was supported 24/7, I learned coping strategies and benefited from one on one time with a psychologist to address other issues. Also, the food was good.
The following links are long, but if you want to know what it is like and see how I progressed you can read this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
My progress and success (yes, I will call 72 days sober a success) is in this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
There have been ups and downs but no matter what being sober is so much better than drinking.
Feel free to ask me any questions here or to PM me. It's 9pm where I am, I need to spend a little time with my kids but I will check in later. I'll also be on and off tomorrow.
Please don't be scared and please don't underestimate this problem.
I had a similar list, my life was a horrible mess and I was miserable, absolutely miserable nearly all of the time. If you want proof to back that up you can go look through some of my old posts prior to going to rehab. There would be too many to mention here, but I posted here frequently before, during and after moments of real crisis.I finally listened to the advice of the people here as well as my psychiatrist and went to rehab. For years I thought rehab was an overreaction but eventually there was so denying that I needed severe help. I mean it when i say I wish I had gone sooner. It was the best thing I have ever done. It was such a positive experience for me. I safely detoxed, I had space away from responsibilities to confront this problem, I was supported 24/7, I learned coping strategies and benefited from one on one time with a psychologist to address other issues. Also, the food was good.
The following links are long, but if you want to know what it is like and see how I progressed you can read this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
My progress and success (yes, I will call 72 days sober a success) is in this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html
There have been ups and downs but no matter what being sober is so much better than drinking.
Feel free to ask me any questions here or to PM me. It's 9pm where I am, I need to spend a little time with my kids but I will check in later. I'll also be on and off tomorrow.
Please don't be scared and please don't underestimate this problem.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
If you're asked me to tell you you're an alcoholic, I can't do that, you have to decide that for yourself. If you're asking my opinion? Then yes, I think you should go to rehab.
It's not the end of the world if you go. Better days lie ahead.
It's not the end of the world if you go. Better days lie ahead.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
"Do I REALLY need medical help and treatment?" - I don't know. Can you detox/quit on your own without medical assistance?
It's not that big of a deal, is it? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really that vital that I quit?"
Let's see - blackouts, physically abusing significant other, driving drunk - unless you consider that behavior reasonable and what you want your future to look like, then yes - you should quit.
It's not that big of a deal, is it? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Is it really that vital that I quit?"
Let's see - blackouts, physically abusing significant other, driving drunk - unless you consider that behavior reasonable and what you want your future to look like, then yes - you should quit.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Your username is lovetolisten. I think the problem you have is that you are only listening to your addiction. There is a chorus of voices around you giving some fantastic advice, including your doctor. You have to make a choice as to who you want to listen to.
Eventually you will be committed involuntarily, arrested or dead if you keep listening to your addiction. And that's not an exaggeration. Your list of damage done by alcohol is extreme by any measure of alcoholism. I hope you can make some good choices before you completely destroy your own life and those around you too.
Eventually you will be committed involuntarily, arrested or dead if you keep listening to your addiction. And that's not an exaggeration. Your list of damage done by alcohol is extreme by any measure of alcoholism. I hope you can make some good choices before you completely destroy your own life and those around you too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Some great advice here lovestolisten
sounds like you're pretty deep in the hole. Also sounds like trying to quit on your has not been working.
Quitting is hard - any help you can get, I'd grab it
why not? what do you have to lose, exactly?
D
sounds like you're pretty deep in the hole. Also sounds like trying to quit on your has not been working.
Quitting is hard - any help you can get, I'd grab it
why not? what do you have to lose, exactly?
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I don't think you sound like a petulant child, I think you sound like a rational person analyzing how alcohol has impacted your life. What you've listed is fairly significant, but it indeed can get much worse. Do you really want that? I doubt it. Any action you take to improve your life should always be considered a step in the right direction. In reading your list, I found myself shaking my head because I've done the same. I wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Thanks all for the considerate replies. I am going to follow through with whatever is recommended to me by the professionals. I made the appointment because I need the help. I have been minimizing and rationalizing for so long, I can justify about anything at this point. My mind is out of whack.
If I don't embrace sobriety and get all of the help I can get, added to that list will be job loss, DUI, and hurting someone besides myself. I can't forget that. On a light note, I blushed when I was reminded that the financial aspect is the least of my worries. Funny how I can spend $200 a night at a bar just to forget everything and feel like hell, but am reluctant to open the wallet to do something good for myself and save my life
If I don't embrace sobriety and get all of the help I can get, added to that list will be job loss, DUI, and hurting someone besides myself. I can't forget that. On a light note, I blushed when I was reminded that the financial aspect is the least of my worries. Funny how I can spend $200 a night at a bar just to forget everything and feel like hell, but am reluctant to open the wallet to do something good for myself and save my life
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Lovetolisten, what's the worst that can happen if you go? And what's the worst thing that can happen if you don't? Hmm. Listen, I went to inpatient rehab and I also thought I didn't really need it. But it changed my life (for the better!) and I'm so glad I did. I was fighting it for years. AA didn't work for me so I chose a non 12-step program. It was wonderful. PM me if you have any questions.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
As my friend Ray would say "take all the help you can get".
And that whole thing about getting a sponsor and working the steps is a good question. AA and NA aren't going to meeting programs. They're 12 step programs. I live near a university. I walk through it and sometimes go into the buildings. That doesn't mean that I go to college there.
And that whole thing about getting a sponsor and working the steps is a good question. AA and NA aren't going to meeting programs. They're 12 step programs. I live near a university. I walk through it and sometimes go into the buildings. That doesn't mean that I go to college there.
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