If they need a reason why I'm not drinking today
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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If they need a reason why I'm not drinking today
I'm placing this thread in the Newcomers section because it may be of some use for the Newcomer.
Caution -- it's not being truthful but, if in a jam and some just seem to need a reason why we are not drinking.
Are you ready for a drink?
No because I will be driving in a while.
Truthfully, driving never stopped me from drinking.
But, not drinking for that reason is a positive message to send.
May just beckon someone's conscience before getting behind the wheel.
Mountainmanbob
Caution -- it's not being truthful but, if in a jam and some just seem to need a reason why we are not drinking.
Are you ready for a drink?
No because I will be driving in a while.
Truthfully, driving never stopped me from drinking.
But, not drinking for that reason is a positive message to send.
May just beckon someone's conscience before getting behind the wheel.
Mountainmanbob
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Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Sometimes I would simply say.
"No thanks I'm not drinking today."
No need to mention that I haven't drank in a long time and don't really plan on drinking at any time.
Mountainman
"No thanks I'm not drinking today."
No need to mention that I haven't drank in a long time and don't really plan on drinking at any time.
Mountainman
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
"No, thanks."
OK, fine, if more elaboration is necessary then:
"No, thanks, but I'd adore a canape!" (at a cocktail party)
"Mmm, I think coke and birthday cake sounds perfect!" (at a birthday party)
"Actually, I was just leaving- y'all have fun!" (a non-answer works anywhere! and perhaps you should leave wherever you are if you feel a tug to drink or want to head one off)
"Do you know how much sugar there is in alcohol? I'm all about the no-sugar fad these days! Club soda and lots of lemon for me, thanks."
"Thanks, but I don't like to drink anything while I'm eating!"
Basically...no one really deserves an explanation, I don't really feel like even a bit of proselytizing (the driving thing) is likely to register, and I am 100% ok with giving a non-answer-answer or using a diversion tactic in situations where more than a polite no feels necessary. And I try to have fun with answers because Ihave a smart ass streak
OK, fine, if more elaboration is necessary then:
"No, thanks, but I'd adore a canape!" (at a cocktail party)
"Mmm, I think coke and birthday cake sounds perfect!" (at a birthday party)
"Actually, I was just leaving- y'all have fun!" (a non-answer works anywhere! and perhaps you should leave wherever you are if you feel a tug to drink or want to head one off)
"Do you know how much sugar there is in alcohol? I'm all about the no-sugar fad these days! Club soda and lots of lemon for me, thanks."
"Thanks, but I don't like to drink anything while I'm eating!"
Basically...no one really deserves an explanation, I don't really feel like even a bit of proselytizing (the driving thing) is likely to register, and I am 100% ok with giving a non-answer-answer or using a diversion tactic in situations where more than a polite no feels necessary. And I try to have fun with answers because Ihave a smart ass streak
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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All great suggestions. Sometimes you get the whynots too. The people who continue to question you. Usually the people who are like this are this way because something about you not drinking is bothering them due to their own stuff.
I found a very effective way to shut them up. I've seen "none of your business" mentioned but if you're in a situation with a group of people it can feed some negativity into the gathering. I know, I know, who cares, right?
I've said "none of your business" only to have the idiot get really loud and say "Ohhhhhhhhhhh, none of my BUSINESS!". I know this is not on me but realistically, if I can sidestep that I'm going to do it.
What I use not only shuts the person up there are no outward hard feelings and they usually keep what I stated to themselves because to discuss makes them confront their own crap.
I look them in the eye and ask with an inquisitive tone "Why does it bother you so much that I'm not drinking?"
I have yet to have anyone make a comment after using the question. Somehow, that seems to be the end all be all of any further discussion that quiets the entire situation.
Again, this is only used for the whynots. Those who just can't let it go. Food for thought, alcoholics don't like to drink alone, or to be in a situation where there's someone who isn't, it makes them uncomfortable. The more a person is bothered by my non drinking the more I realize it's making them uncomfortable and there's probably a reason.
I found a very effective way to shut them up. I've seen "none of your business" mentioned but if you're in a situation with a group of people it can feed some negativity into the gathering. I know, I know, who cares, right?
I've said "none of your business" only to have the idiot get really loud and say "Ohhhhhhhhhhh, none of my BUSINESS!". I know this is not on me but realistically, if I can sidestep that I'm going to do it.
What I use not only shuts the person up there are no outward hard feelings and they usually keep what I stated to themselves because to discuss makes them confront their own crap.
I look them in the eye and ask with an inquisitive tone "Why does it bother you so much that I'm not drinking?"
I have yet to have anyone make a comment after using the question. Somehow, that seems to be the end all be all of any further discussion that quiets the entire situation.
Again, this is only used for the whynots. Those who just can't let it go. Food for thought, alcoholics don't like to drink alone, or to be in a situation where there's someone who isn't, it makes them uncomfortable. The more a person is bothered by my non drinking the more I realize it's making them uncomfortable and there's probably a reason.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
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Ugh hate it when I read a post and realize a flubbed sentence.
Alcoholics don't like to drink alone. Right.
What I meant was in a gathering type atmosphere the only people who typically notice and are bothered by those who aren't drinking are those who have their own problem. At least that was me. Someone who just asks and you decline and they leave it at that aren't an issue.
I used to be a whynot. It made me uncomfortable because there was someone present who I felt could judge me. In my alcoholic brain thoughts like "what, do you think you're better than me?" surfaced.
Asking why it bothers them forces them to contemplate the question even if they let it roll off. It gives them a reason to think and for an alcoholic that's scary territory. Hence it takes care of the question in one simple step.
Alcoholics don't like to drink alone. Right.
What I meant was in a gathering type atmosphere the only people who typically notice and are bothered by those who aren't drinking are those who have their own problem. At least that was me. Someone who just asks and you decline and they leave it at that aren't an issue.
I used to be a whynot. It made me uncomfortable because there was someone present who I felt could judge me. In my alcoholic brain thoughts like "what, do you think you're better than me?" surfaced.
Asking why it bothers them forces them to contemplate the question even if they let it roll off. It gives them a reason to think and for an alcoholic that's scary territory. Hence it takes care of the question in one simple step.
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I'm not drinking today because, I'm enjoying some real serenity.
Nothing more needs to be said.
Drunks that are having troubles with their drinking habits
may understand that their serenity level is running very low.
Possibly they have not tasted serenity in a long, long time?
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
Nothing more needs to be said.
Drunks that are having troubles with their drinking habits
may understand that their serenity level is running very low.
Possibly they have not tasted serenity in a long, long time?
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
"I'd prefer a La Croix - thanks!"
"I'd rather have some iced tea if you've got it"
"I have things to do later on and wine makes me feel demotivated - do you have anything without alcohol?"
"Eh - I'm happier with water, thanks!"
"I'd rather have some iced tea if you've got it"
"I have things to do later on and wine makes me feel demotivated - do you have anything without alcohol?"
"Eh - I'm happier with water, thanks!"
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Would you like an alcoholic drink?
No thank you, actually I haven't had a drink in a long time.
Never really used that response but, I feel very comfortable with it.
I haven't drank in a long time and see no reason to start now.
Mountainman
No thank you, actually I haven't had a drink in a long time.
Never really used that response but, I feel very comfortable with it.
I haven't drank in a long time and see no reason to start now.
Mountainman
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
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I usually don't even get asked anymore. My quitting was pretty public. Everyone I knew was aware of what happened to jump-start my quit.
But if I am asked, "I'll just stick to iced tea, thanks" seems to work just fine.
But if I am asked, "I'll just stick to iced tea, thanks" seems to work just fine.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I just order a seltzer with lime when offered a drink. No one ever cares. Its only people who have an alcohol problem who will actually say "You mean you aren't going to have a REAL DRINK?" Everyone else is sort of like, oh seltzer with lime, here you go...cheers.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
"Oh no, thanks! I started running and can never get enough water and stuff like that!" [a no and a conversation diverter, too]
Just thought of something my sponsor says- "no" and your feet is always answer enough. Would be kinda funny to do just that to a nosy person sometime!!
Seriously, though - no one does care. It is funny how much we thought they would care or notice - that alcoholic "I" again!
Just thought of something my sponsor says- "no" and your feet is always answer enough. Would be kinda funny to do just that to a nosy person sometime!!
Seriously, though - no one does care. It is funny how much we thought they would care or notice - that alcoholic "I" again!
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Originally Posted by August252015 
Seriously, though - no one does care. It is funny how much we thought they would care or notice - that alcoholic "I" again!
Everyone that I know understand that I don't drink and don't even give it a second thought.
Seems that only drunks think about drinking all the time?
Mountainmanbob
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Only one person has pressed me to explain why I don't drink. One person in 3.5 years. As it turns out, he drinks regularly, and my suspicions are that he might have a problem. He seems fascinated that I was just able to quit and haven't had a drink since... and yet he mentions having cold beers to me often, watching my reaction, and he's teased me about 'missing out.' It doesn't bother me a bit. I know he has two motivations: One is to feel ok about his own drinking, and the other is to get in my pants. 
And neither of us are kids. So it's kind of funny to me that I'm facing peer pressure at this age still. Guess it never stops.
And neither of us are kids. So it's kind of funny to me that I'm facing peer pressure at this age still. Guess it never stops.
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No thanks, drunks make me sick.
A while back my alcoholic neighbor who I used to drink with stated that his brother has no fun in his life because he does not drink.
Self deception runs heavy in the drunks mind.
M-Bob
A while back my alcoholic neighbor who I used to drink with stated that his brother has no fun in his life because he does not drink.
Self deception runs heavy in the drunks mind.
M-Bob
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
I was, by far, the biggest drinker in my circles. I was the one offering drinks to others, although I was never pushy about it. When then said "no," I didn't judge them for not drinking, I judged MYSELF for how much I had already put away!
Since quitting (only 32 days so far), I've only had one person ask me if I wanted a beer. All I had to do was say, "no thanks," and that was that. I guess I'm lucky that I'm in a low-alcohol peer group (at least that I know about).
Since quitting (only 32 days so far), I've only had one person ask me if I wanted a beer. All I had to do was say, "no thanks," and that was that. I guess I'm lucky that I'm in a low-alcohol peer group (at least that I know about).
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