Challenges, always challenges
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Challenges, always challenges
A bit of a rant:
Yesterday I wrote about the challenges I faced over the last year with my physical health and overcoming drinking. So the hard stuff is done right? Everything is downhill from here, right? Wrong.
I got my latest reduction in pain medication and am adjusting to it, its not comfortable. I'm experiencing slight withdrawal. I don't sleep well, appetite is a little messed up. I know this will continue for awhile and it isn't very pleasant. Its a challenge.
Getting a job. While I am overall pretty pleased with the way things are going, its still a pain in the a**. It's a challenge, and it requires effort. So many little details you have to be on top of, and no one is going to do it for me, so I am beating the bushes on my own. Its a challenge.
Family. Things are deteriorating. My 72 yr old father and 70 yr old mother are separating after 49 years of marriage. My father came over today and some things happened last night that broke the camels back. I don't care how old you are, seeing your parents split sucks. And of course he wants me to try and influence my mother in an effort to patch things up. I told him that ship sailed long ago. She's ruined his life, I won't let her ruin mine. It's a challenge.
Lastly, remember my alcoholic brother in law in California? I sent him an email when we got back last time we were out there confronting him on how incredibly bold and rude he was. He told me to eff off and I have not spoken a word to him since. He's still a mess. Not a challenge, its great.
My point? Life (at least mine) constantly throws stuff at us. Its not the challenges themselves as much as how we react and handle them that defines our character...IMO. So we must soldier-on, chin up and eyes forward.
Told you it was a rant.
Yesterday I wrote about the challenges I faced over the last year with my physical health and overcoming drinking. So the hard stuff is done right? Everything is downhill from here, right? Wrong.
I got my latest reduction in pain medication and am adjusting to it, its not comfortable. I'm experiencing slight withdrawal. I don't sleep well, appetite is a little messed up. I know this will continue for awhile and it isn't very pleasant. Its a challenge.
Getting a job. While I am overall pretty pleased with the way things are going, its still a pain in the a**. It's a challenge, and it requires effort. So many little details you have to be on top of, and no one is going to do it for me, so I am beating the bushes on my own. Its a challenge.
Family. Things are deteriorating. My 72 yr old father and 70 yr old mother are separating after 49 years of marriage. My father came over today and some things happened last night that broke the camels back. I don't care how old you are, seeing your parents split sucks. And of course he wants me to try and influence my mother in an effort to patch things up. I told him that ship sailed long ago. She's ruined his life, I won't let her ruin mine. It's a challenge.
Lastly, remember my alcoholic brother in law in California? I sent him an email when we got back last time we were out there confronting him on how incredibly bold and rude he was. He told me to eff off and I have not spoken a word to him since. He's still a mess. Not a challenge, its great.
My point? Life (at least mine) constantly throws stuff at us. Its not the challenges themselves as much as how we react and handle them that defines our character...IMO. So we must soldier-on, chin up and eyes forward.
Told you it was a rant.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi Jeff
I'm sorry about your folks - you're right, regardless of their long standing problems, that would be painful for the children at any age.
I'm sorry about the other stuff too, but the good thing is it's all just stuff Y'know - in yourself you're doing ok, yeah?
D
I'm sorry about your folks - you're right, regardless of their long standing problems, that would be painful for the children at any age.
I'm sorry about the other stuff too, but the good thing is it's all just stuff Y'know - in yourself you're doing ok, yeah?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Mine are 80 (in three weeks) and 81 and came extremely close to divorcing a few times the past few years. No matter how old we are (I'm 44) it is really difficult and can throw you off balance. So much so for me that it caused me to relapse. Here I am with my own home and own family and I just couldn't take it. They ultimately remained together but they're not thrilled with each other and it's just still really hard.
So rant away...life can be difficult for all of us but it's so much easier to cope sober.
So rant away...life can be difficult for all of us but it's so much easier to cope sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I'm sorry Jeff. Yeah life just keeps being life. Family? Huge source of trauma for me. I have to remember that people are what they are. I have to focus on keeping myself mentally healthy and try not to let too much sink in that I can't control. Hang in there.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Gosh, having your parents split up after 49 years of marriage has to be tough. But, you are absolutely right. Things come along and the only thing we can control is how we react.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hey Jeff 
I am often reminded of the wise words of the late, great Gilda Radner......"It's always something."
That really sucks about your parents. I will keep a good thought for you.
I am often reminded of the wise words of the late, great Gilda Radner......"It's always something."
That really sucks about your parents. I will keep a good thought for you.
but we're good listeners Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
I'm sorry to hear about the turmoil in your parents' lives, Jeff. Remember to put on your own oxygen mask first. When all is said and done, based on what you've described it has not been a happy marriage and there's not a darn thing you can do about it.
When I first joined SR, one of the recurring messages I saw from the veterans of sobriety was that life keeps happening. Circumstances give no heed to our wishes for reduced drama or pain. You're right. There will always be challenges.
When I first joined SR, one of the recurring messages I saw from the veterans of sobriety was that life keeps happening. Circumstances give no heed to our wishes for reduced drama or pain. You're right. There will always be challenges.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps and shoulder too much kept me drinking for many years. Today I understand I "control " very little. I can however determine how I perceive the world around me and how I interact/engage in life.
Accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. That's my daily game plan = working on it.
Prayer and meditation in all things.
Accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. That's my daily game plan = working on it.
Prayer and meditation in all things.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 394
My point? Life (at least mine) constantly throws stuff at us. Its not the challenges themselves as much as how we react and handle them that defines our character...IMO. So we must soldier-on, chin up and eyes forward.
Told you it was a rant.[/QUOTE]
Hi Tom.
I agree with you 100 % I also really needed to be reminded of this as I have loads of stuff coming way. Thankyou.
Told you it was a rant.[/QUOTE]
Hi Tom.
I agree with you 100 % I also really needed to be reminded of this as I have loads of stuff coming way. Thankyou.
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