Booze, Women, bikies, crime and sobreity
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 11
Booze, Women, bikies, crime and sobreity
I am new to this forum and I just wanted to share my story and battle with alcoholism and how I have managed to quit drinking and possibly hear your thoughts on it.
*NOTE: I will not name the pain medication that I was prescribed throughout this story , so that I can respect the rules and requirements of this amazing forum. And pain medication is not a permanent fix and professional advice should be used.
Firstly ill start with a short history of my alcoholic past.
The first time I tried alcohol I was roughly 13yrs of age and from that first sip I instantly loved it and adored it . My father left my mother when I was a child and I tracked him down around this time and spoke with him on the phone, he was incredibly nasty to me I distinctly recall him saying to me " all you are to me is c*m in your mothers c*nt" (very sorry for graphic words) this effected me deeply , I cried for quiet sometime after this. I attended boarding school at a prestigious private school in a country town and would sneak out at nights to go to the bottle shop and get someone of age to purchase me a 2 casks of wine and then take it back to boarding school, to get me through the week. I would drink before school , during school and after school. I was eventually expelled after getting caught too many times.
I ended up finishing my grade 12 at tafe and during that year I attended many parties with children of the same age, I would always be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. Loving my booze and living for the booze. I was known as the **** head.
I eventually joined the royal Australian navy as a marine technician, and duxed the class . The navy culture thrived around excessive drinking so I loved it. I would have relationships with many women but most would end as they didnt like my chronic drinking. At this point in time I would wake , pour a 500ml glass of stanley Chardonay 13% and skull it within seconds, I would drink x2 of these just to start the day. I would never sip wine I would always drink it that way. I love this feeling, and the effect afterwards, to me this feeling is the best on earth. I would then goto work drunk in the military, finish my day. And then leave work and then skull a glass of wine as soon as I got home and continue to drink into oblivion until I passed out and then repeated this daily. By this point my mother and sister , basically wanted nothing to do with me as they were ashamed to be related to an alcoholic.
I was eventually caught out after co-workers smelt the booze on my breath and I failed multiple breath tests and drunken fights. I was sent to military rehab (the tank) , I passed the 6 weeks in rehab, but within hours of leaving I picked up my first drink and the routine started again. One evening I was called into base and was caught out by the Navy Coxswain (head policeman within navy) that I was drunk, I was absolutely hammered at the time. I punched him and knocked him on his arse an subsequently that was the end of my military days.
Then the real drinking began. I was a civilian now meaning no more barriers to hold me from my beloved wine sculling and drinking abuse. Im trying to keep this story short, sorry if im raving on. Anyways the drinking got worse, I ended up joining an outlaw motorcycle club (which I wont name), because there were parties all the time that went for days , and my drinking suited this. In this time I had multiple RBT's which I failed, I was charged with grievous bodily harm and multiple assaults, whilst drunk... leading to a small time in jail, failed relationships, basically just destructive behavior for years. My liver was absolutely hammered. I was hospitalised for stomach pain around this time and all of my organs were swollen from drinking. The surgeon spoke to me and said "if you dont stop drinking I will be looking at needing a liver transplant in a year or so" This was a wake up call , but not enough to stop my drinking addiction.
Then one day I was involved in accident which caused me to have a serious back injury I was prescribed pain medication (which I wont name, to meet the forum rules and requirments) x2 caps a day, morning and night. After taking this medication for a month approx I suddenly felt happier and didnt have any desire to drink at all. I left the motorcycle club and have no contact with anyone associated with it and basically realized what I had become , because of drinking. . I was drinking 6 litres of wine per day at this point for the last 5 years and after taking the pain medication for a month or so, had no desire to drink and was completely sober.
To me this is an absolute miracle and I have been taking the pain medication for my back for the last 23 months. To me sobriety is the most important thing in my life. But I am scared because the pain medication is prescribed for pain, not to stop drinking, so I am scared that one day I wont be prescribed anymore pain medication and then my chronic alcohol urges will start again. I have heard that this pain medication acts as a anti-depressant,but this isnt officially recognized and it is not prescribed for this. I have come to realize I have been depressed all of my life and this pain medication has possibly worked as an anti-depressant for me, therefore giving me no desire to drink. Maybe I could just switch to an official anti-depressant, but in saying this... again I am scared to swap in case I relapse. To anyone who is sober after being a chronic drinker...as you know sobriety is very very important to us. I had a liver function test done recently and my liver is healing and the numbers have almost dropped by half.
Well I would love to hear your thoughts as I havent really shared my sobriety story with many people as im not sure on their reaction. Some may call this switching addictions, if so taking 2 tablets per day and staying sober and productive and not dying is well worth it.
These days, I am easy going, nice natured, I love to help people and volunteer, I have my own nice large home, im studying have made great friendships and just love life. I hope I have kept my history short enough for you, i tried
*NOTE: I will not name the pain medication that I was prescribed throughout this story , so that I can respect the rules and requirements of this amazing forum. Painkillers also can be very addictive and professional advice should be used. Painkillers also can be very addictive.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you
*NOTE: I will not name the pain medication that I was prescribed throughout this story , so that I can respect the rules and requirements of this amazing forum. And pain medication is not a permanent fix and professional advice should be used.
Firstly ill start with a short history of my alcoholic past.
The first time I tried alcohol I was roughly 13yrs of age and from that first sip I instantly loved it and adored it . My father left my mother when I was a child and I tracked him down around this time and spoke with him on the phone, he was incredibly nasty to me I distinctly recall him saying to me " all you are to me is c*m in your mothers c*nt" (very sorry for graphic words) this effected me deeply , I cried for quiet sometime after this. I attended boarding school at a prestigious private school in a country town and would sneak out at nights to go to the bottle shop and get someone of age to purchase me a 2 casks of wine and then take it back to boarding school, to get me through the week. I would drink before school , during school and after school. I was eventually expelled after getting caught too many times.
I ended up finishing my grade 12 at tafe and during that year I attended many parties with children of the same age, I would always be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. Loving my booze and living for the booze. I was known as the **** head.
I eventually joined the royal Australian navy as a marine technician, and duxed the class . The navy culture thrived around excessive drinking so I loved it. I would have relationships with many women but most would end as they didnt like my chronic drinking. At this point in time I would wake , pour a 500ml glass of stanley Chardonay 13% and skull it within seconds, I would drink x2 of these just to start the day. I would never sip wine I would always drink it that way. I love this feeling, and the effect afterwards, to me this feeling is the best on earth. I would then goto work drunk in the military, finish my day. And then leave work and then skull a glass of wine as soon as I got home and continue to drink into oblivion until I passed out and then repeated this daily. By this point my mother and sister , basically wanted nothing to do with me as they were ashamed to be related to an alcoholic.
I was eventually caught out after co-workers smelt the booze on my breath and I failed multiple breath tests and drunken fights. I was sent to military rehab (the tank) , I passed the 6 weeks in rehab, but within hours of leaving I picked up my first drink and the routine started again. One evening I was called into base and was caught out by the Navy Coxswain (head policeman within navy) that I was drunk, I was absolutely hammered at the time. I punched him and knocked him on his arse an subsequently that was the end of my military days.
Then the real drinking began. I was a civilian now meaning no more barriers to hold me from my beloved wine sculling and drinking abuse. Im trying to keep this story short, sorry if im raving on. Anyways the drinking got worse, I ended up joining an outlaw motorcycle club (which I wont name), because there were parties all the time that went for days , and my drinking suited this. In this time I had multiple RBT's which I failed, I was charged with grievous bodily harm and multiple assaults, whilst drunk... leading to a small time in jail, failed relationships, basically just destructive behavior for years. My liver was absolutely hammered. I was hospitalised for stomach pain around this time and all of my organs were swollen from drinking. The surgeon spoke to me and said "if you dont stop drinking I will be looking at needing a liver transplant in a year or so" This was a wake up call , but not enough to stop my drinking addiction.
Then one day I was involved in accident which caused me to have a serious back injury I was prescribed pain medication (which I wont name, to meet the forum rules and requirments) x2 caps a day, morning and night. After taking this medication for a month approx I suddenly felt happier and didnt have any desire to drink at all. I left the motorcycle club and have no contact with anyone associated with it and basically realized what I had become , because of drinking. . I was drinking 6 litres of wine per day at this point for the last 5 years and after taking the pain medication for a month or so, had no desire to drink and was completely sober.
To me this is an absolute miracle and I have been taking the pain medication for my back for the last 23 months. To me sobriety is the most important thing in my life. But I am scared because the pain medication is prescribed for pain, not to stop drinking, so I am scared that one day I wont be prescribed anymore pain medication and then my chronic alcohol urges will start again. I have heard that this pain medication acts as a anti-depressant,but this isnt officially recognized and it is not prescribed for this. I have come to realize I have been depressed all of my life and this pain medication has possibly worked as an anti-depressant for me, therefore giving me no desire to drink. Maybe I could just switch to an official anti-depressant, but in saying this... again I am scared to swap in case I relapse. To anyone who is sober after being a chronic drinker...as you know sobriety is very very important to us. I had a liver function test done recently and my liver is healing and the numbers have almost dropped by half.
Well I would love to hear your thoughts as I havent really shared my sobriety story with many people as im not sure on their reaction. Some may call this switching addictions, if so taking 2 tablets per day and staying sober and productive and not dying is well worth it.
These days, I am easy going, nice natured, I love to help people and volunteer, I have my own nice large home, im studying have made great friendships and just love life. I hope I have kept my history short enough for you, i tried
*NOTE: I will not name the pain medication that I was prescribed throughout this story , so that I can respect the rules and requirements of this amazing forum. Painkillers also can be very addictive and professional advice should be used. Painkillers also can be very addictive.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Ryan,
I tend not to read or comment on the long posts...tmi.
But yours pulled me in. I relate to a lot of your story.
You seemed to have pulled out of your death spiral and using pain meds only is better then..skulling in wine daily.
Welcome aboard mate. Never been to Australia. But, I have heard nothing but good things about it.
If you want to stay sober, this place is a great tool in your kit bag.
I tend not to read or comment on the long posts...tmi.
But yours pulled me in. I relate to a lot of your story.
You seemed to have pulled out of your death spiral and using pain meds only is better then..skulling in wine daily.
Welcome aboard mate. Never been to Australia. But, I have heard nothing but good things about it.
If you want to stay sober, this place is a great tool in your kit bag.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
Interesting that pain Rx would relieve you of your desire for alcohol. I think you're smart to consider the consequences if the Rx is ever not renewed by the Dr. Hopefully you're strong enough and prepared to deal with that. If not, now is the time to get things in order!
Welcome to SR.
Welcome to SR.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
what happens when you don't take the pain medication?
Can you go a day or more without it?
When I started taking pain medication on the regular there was a good period of time when drinking seemed less attractive to me. I had found my drug of choice. Everything was "fine" as long as I got a constant supply. Nothing bothered me (even the things that should have). This was short lived.
When I couldn't get any, all hell broke loose. This made the days of being a boozer seem like a walk in the park.
Getting loaded is getting loaded. The drug doesn't matter.
YMMV.
Can you go a day or more without it?
When I started taking pain medication on the regular there was a good period of time when drinking seemed less attractive to me. I had found my drug of choice. Everything was "fine" as long as I got a constant supply. Nothing bothered me (even the things that should have). This was short lived.
When I couldn't get any, all hell broke loose. This made the days of being a boozer seem like a walk in the park.
Getting loaded is getting loaded. The drug doesn't matter.
YMMV.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by fini 
hey Ryan,
this is the same thread you posted in the 'Alcoholism' forum...just wondering what that's about?
this is the same thread you posted in the 'Alcoholism' forum...just wondering what that's about?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Ryan
Just so you know, your thread in Alcoholism is still there.
You had another copy of this thread in another forum which did not fit the rules of that forum so it was removed.
We don't usually allow multiple identical copies of the one thread..but as you're new and possibly confused, I'll allow this one too - but I'd ask you please not to cut and paste your story a fourth time.
Posting twice is more than enough for your story to be available to everyone
As you note the medication you're taking is addictive, and my concerns and my recommendation that you go and discuss this with a Dr remain the same as they did in the other thread.
D.
Just so you know, your thread in Alcoholism is still there.
You had another copy of this thread in another forum which did not fit the rules of that forum so it was removed.
We don't usually allow multiple identical copies of the one thread..but as you're new and possibly confused, I'll allow this one too - but I'd ask you please not to cut and paste your story a fourth time.
Posting twice is more than enough for your story to be available to everyone
As you note the medication you're taking is addictive, and my concerns and my recommendation that you go and discuss this with a Dr remain the same as they did in the other thread.
D.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Ryan
Just so you know, your thread in Alcoholism is still there.
You had another copy of this thread in another forum which did not fit the rules of that forum so it was removed.
We don't usually allow multiple identical copies of the one thread..but as you're new and possibly confused, I'll allow this one too - but I'd ask you please not to cut and paste your story a fourth time.
Posting twice is more than enough for your story to be available to everyone
As you note the medication you're taking is addictive, and my concerns and my recommendation that you go and discuss this with a Dr remain the same as they did in the other thread.
D.
Just so you know, your thread in Alcoholism is still there.
You had another copy of this thread in another forum which did not fit the rules of that forum so it was removed.
We don't usually allow multiple identical copies of the one thread..but as you're new and possibly confused, I'll allow this one too - but I'd ask you please not to cut and paste your story a fourth time.
Posting twice is more than enough for your story to be available to everyone
As you note the medication you're taking is addictive, and my concerns and my recommendation that you go and discuss this with a Dr remain the same as they did in the other thread.
D.
Sorry it wont happen again.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
Pain medication at this point is merely an alcohol substitute - you flat out state that you've "found your drug of choice." There is no sobriety or recovery in this, and I beg you to look deeper.
I went through the opposite. I was on pain management for years and eventually got off of it, as tolerance built it was less effective and I felt bad more than I felt good. After going off of it, I turned to alcohol. What you have at the moment is no solution at all. I don't see this ending well, to be brutally honest.
I went through the opposite. I was on pain management for years and eventually got off of it, as tolerance built it was less effective and I felt bad more than I felt good. After going off of it, I turned to alcohol. What you have at the moment is no solution at all. I don't see this ending well, to be brutally honest.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
When you see your physician or your psychiatrist, it might help to inquire about certain antidepressants that are used for the management of chronic pain. Partly in response to escalating painkiller addiction, and partly due to their analgesic properties, some antidepressants are increasingly being prescribed in place of traditional opioids with documented success.
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