Rough Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Rough Day
Hi,
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I have settled into my little house. I still wish this would go quicker!
I filed for divorce in January. My domestic violence petition is to remain in effect. Since I moved out of our home, the judge allowed my ah to return to the home.
I called the courthouse today, this seems to be taking an awful long time. I was told, the court would be scheduling a mediation session. Our case is still in the pending/to be scheduled. No one could give me an idea of when it will be scheduled.
I noticed that when I moved I left my mom's ring and some of my summer clothes at our home. I called the police to call my ah to set up a time to get my few things. The police called me back stating he wouldn't allow me to come to the house!! This is my home too!!!! When I was living there, and he was gone, any time he asked to come to the house I allowed it. I thought it was the respectful thing to do.
I'm worried about what he is doing in our home, who might be living there, what things us he selling or destroying of ours!!
This house is all I have, what money I get out of it will help me buy a place of my own.
The police really didn't care, acted like it wasn't my right to even ask to go to my house. They acted like it was an imposition on their part to have to make time for me in their busy day.
Called my lawyer, texted him x2, and spoke with his secretary with no phone call back!!
I'm feeling very alone here. What aren't rights!! No one will tell me. I didn't do any of this yet I'm the one that doesn't seem to have any rights!! Any advice??? I feel like I'm drowning.!!
I just want it over and to be able to move on!
Z
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I have settled into my little house. I still wish this would go quicker!
I filed for divorce in January. My domestic violence petition is to remain in effect. Since I moved out of our home, the judge allowed my ah to return to the home.
I called the courthouse today, this seems to be taking an awful long time. I was told, the court would be scheduling a mediation session. Our case is still in the pending/to be scheduled. No one could give me an idea of when it will be scheduled.
I noticed that when I moved I left my mom's ring and some of my summer clothes at our home. I called the police to call my ah to set up a time to get my few things. The police called me back stating he wouldn't allow me to come to the house!! This is my home too!!!! When I was living there, and he was gone, any time he asked to come to the house I allowed it. I thought it was the respectful thing to do.
I'm worried about what he is doing in our home, who might be living there, what things us he selling or destroying of ours!!
This house is all I have, what money I get out of it will help me buy a place of my own.
The police really didn't care, acted like it wasn't my right to even ask to go to my house. They acted like it was an imposition on their part to have to make time for me in their busy day.
Called my lawyer, texted him x2, and spoke with his secretary with no phone call back!!
I'm feeling very alone here. What aren't rights!! No one will tell me. I didn't do any of this yet I'm the one that doesn't seem to have any rights!! Any advice??? I feel like I'm drowning.!!
I just want it over and to be able to move on!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, you've got a lawyer who should be able to help you. It sounds to me like what you have to do is to file a motion to compel him to allow you to retrieve your belongings. The police will usually "stand by" for an initial property removal, but you've already taken your stuff but realized you didn't have everything you needed.
Breathe. There isn't an emergency at this point. I know you want to get your stuff, but you could have stayed in the house, yourself. I'm not blaming you, just pointing that out.
If he were a nice, reasonable guy you wouldn't have a protective order, right? So stop expecting him to be nice or reasonable.
As far as mediation goes, in most jurisdictions mediation is discouraged or prohibited where there is a history of domestic violence. Hopefully you don't have to negotiate with him in person and it can all be done through the lawyers.
Hugs, you'll get through this.
Breathe. There isn't an emergency at this point. I know you want to get your stuff, but you could have stayed in the house, yourself. I'm not blaming you, just pointing that out.
If he were a nice, reasonable guy you wouldn't have a protective order, right? So stop expecting him to be nice or reasonable.
As far as mediation goes, in most jurisdictions mediation is discouraged or prohibited where there is a history of domestic violence. Hopefully you don't have to negotiate with him in person and it can all be done through the lawyers.
Hugs, you'll get through this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I left the house because I didn't feel safe there. My ah told me he'd burn the house down before I got it.
I took most of my personal things, but there are a lot of things we bought as a couple. I would like us to split them, or be compensated for the purchases.
I was the bread earner in the family.,
I spend the small amount my mother left me to open the business. For the last 6 months I lived in the house with him, actual last 8 months, he had no income m, and I used my inheritance to pay the bills.,
I'm sure I won't see a dime of that money, yet his mother is worth millions, he'll be a rich man, and I won't even be able to buy a small home because I was so stupid to spend my small amout of money my mother gave me, to try and help him.
Life doesn't seem fair!! I never wanted any of this. Now, I doubt he ever really loved me. All he wanted from me was what I could provide him. When it was gone, he threw me away!!
I left the house because I didn't feel safe there. My ah told me he'd burn the house down before I got it.
I took most of my personal things, but there are a lot of things we bought as a couple. I would like us to split them, or be compensated for the purchases.
I was the bread earner in the family.,
I spend the small amount my mother left me to open the business. For the last 6 months I lived in the house with him, actual last 8 months, he had no income m, and I used my inheritance to pay the bills.,
I'm sure I won't see a dime of that money, yet his mother is worth millions, he'll be a rich man, and I won't even be able to buy a small home because I was so stupid to spend my small amout of money my mother gave me, to try and help him.
Life doesn't seem fair!! I never wanted any of this. Now, I doubt he ever really loved me. All he wanted from me was what I could provide him. When it was gone, he threw me away!!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Sweetie, all that financial stuff will be sorted out at the time of your divorce--the who-gets-what. The rule in most places is "equitable distribution," so you should be fairly compensated for your financial contributions. Use this time now to make an inventory of the items you bought that are still in the house. Try to track down how much you spent for them. You won't necessarily get the actual items, but you should at least get a fair share of their value.
I know it doesn't feel fair, but if you had wealthy family it wouldn't be fair for him to get more of the marital property for that reason.
Life will look a lot rosier once you're past this. You're in the sucky part of divorce right now--it won't stay this way, I promise.
And lest you feel I don't know what I'm talking about, my second husband contributed virtually nothing during our marriage and I, too, spent inherited money to keep us afloat. You'll catch up again. You're still better off out of it.
I know it doesn't feel fair, but if you had wealthy family it wouldn't be fair for him to get more of the marital property for that reason.
Life will look a lot rosier once you're past this. You're in the sucky part of divorce right now--it won't stay this way, I promise.
And lest you feel I don't know what I'm talking about, my second husband contributed virtually nothing during our marriage and I, too, spent inherited money to keep us afloat. You'll catch up again. You're still better off out of it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
Sorry you are having such a sad day, ((( hugs)))
Remember one day at a time......
No one can throw you away. They can leave, or you can leave.
For me, on a bad day sometimes I just watch a stupid silly movie that makes me laugh-a lot- and I do feel better after. Laughter is under-rated in my opinion. Heck, even Americas funniest videos will work, I love the ones with laughing babies and pet tricks. Or watch you tube videos of laughing babies......infectious laughing there......
Remember one day at a time......
No one can throw you away. They can leave, or you can leave.
For me, on a bad day sometimes I just watch a stupid silly movie that makes me laugh-a lot- and I do feel better after. Laughter is under-rated in my opinion. Heck, even Americas funniest videos will work, I love the ones with laughing babies and pet tricks. Or watch you tube videos of laughing babies......infectious laughing there......
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
at the time you contributed your inheritance, you didn't see this as a debt he would later OWE you. it was YOUR money and YOU made the choices in how to spend it.....
when my mom died i inherited everything she had...a house, paid for, two cars - a corvette and a toyota pick up, and her stocks. my husband at the time and i moved in to the house with my daughter and his son. i put half the stock in a trust for my daughter's college fund...and didn't touch it.
i had a car that we sold to get a new roof on the house. we traded the pickup in for my first Subaru......the ultimate soccer mom car, the Legacy Wagon.
we later sold the house and bought a new place, with 50% down due to value of my mom's place.....traded in the 'Vette for a new Ford pickup for my husband.
i was able to pay for the last years of my daughter's high school education and a good portion of the first year of college, with the stock proceeds.
due to the fact that it was MY mom's death that i inherited the property that allowed us to later by another home, when i left my ex WITH the house, we had an agreement that he owed me $50k should/when he sold. we later agreed for him to give me the $50k and be done - he refi'd the house and presented me with a check.
hank and i used those funds to pay off some debt, get our finances looking more attractive to lenders and the bought the house we now live in - over 10 years now.
my point is.....that was YOUR inheritance and thus YOUR nest egg. unless he held a loaded gun to your head, he didn't MAKE you make the decisions you made. just as addicts SHOULD have to accept the consequences of their actions and decisions, so should we.......
when my mom died i inherited everything she had...a house, paid for, two cars - a corvette and a toyota pick up, and her stocks. my husband at the time and i moved in to the house with my daughter and his son. i put half the stock in a trust for my daughter's college fund...and didn't touch it.
i had a car that we sold to get a new roof on the house. we traded the pickup in for my first Subaru......the ultimate soccer mom car, the Legacy Wagon.
we later sold the house and bought a new place, with 50% down due to value of my mom's place.....traded in the 'Vette for a new Ford pickup for my husband.
i was able to pay for the last years of my daughter's high school education and a good portion of the first year of college, with the stock proceeds.
due to the fact that it was MY mom's death that i inherited the property that allowed us to later by another home, when i left my ex WITH the house, we had an agreement that he owed me $50k should/when he sold. we later agreed for him to give me the $50k and be done - he refi'd the house and presented me with a check.
hank and i used those funds to pay off some debt, get our finances looking more attractive to lenders and the bought the house we now live in - over 10 years now.
my point is.....that was YOUR inheritance and thus YOUR nest egg. unless he held a loaded gun to your head, he didn't MAKE you make the decisions you made. just as addicts SHOULD have to accept the consequences of their actions and decisions, so should we.......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I thank you for all your advice. I thought the physical move would be the toughest thing of all this to get through! I think the whole last 2 years has been a nightmare m, and it continues.
I know, I made the choice to spend my mother's money. It was spend in good faith on my part that the marriage was to continue.
In court, when the judge was reviewing the domestic violence petition, my ah lawyer states that the marriage has been deterioring for the past. 5 years due to my brain issue. Yes, I had a brain hemmorage 5 years ago, am one of the lucky few that survived! With a brain hemorrhage the odds aren't in your favor. I went back to work within 2 weeks to a very high stress job. I continued to work for 5 1/2 yrs. I am intact, thank goodness, very lucky with the exception of no vision in my right eye, weakness on my right side, and chronic pain in my right side.
I retired early last year. So I no longer have the earnings potential I had a few years ago.
My point is, if my ah felt the marriage was going down hill fit the last 5 yrs, since my "brain issue", what man would allow his wife to spend her mother's small inheritance, so she would have nothing left!!! This is what've meant by being thrown away.
I no longer have any more earning potential. Yes I did willingly give him my moms money, because I felt we'd be together forever, stupid.,
If I had that money, I could live a frugal, but comfortable life. Now , I'm lucky I can afford to pay my rent.
My ah, will live very comfortably on his mother's money, had the benefit of my work ethic and earnings, and my small inheritance. I guess I was the fool here!! That's what I feel like. My ah has won in so many ways, even though no one ever really wins. He is in control of the situation and knows it! To think I took care of his mother for 2 1/2 years. I am loosing my goodness, in starting to question everyone's motives.
I know, I only have myself to blame for this situation, and I have accepted it. I will never recover financially from this .,
I thank you for all your advice. I thought the physical move would be the toughest thing of all this to get through! I think the whole last 2 years has been a nightmare m, and it continues.
I know, I made the choice to spend my mother's money. It was spend in good faith on my part that the marriage was to continue.
In court, when the judge was reviewing the domestic violence petition, my ah lawyer states that the marriage has been deterioring for the past. 5 years due to my brain issue. Yes, I had a brain hemmorage 5 years ago, am one of the lucky few that survived! With a brain hemorrhage the odds aren't in your favor. I went back to work within 2 weeks to a very high stress job. I continued to work for 5 1/2 yrs. I am intact, thank goodness, very lucky with the exception of no vision in my right eye, weakness on my right side, and chronic pain in my right side.
I retired early last year. So I no longer have the earnings potential I had a few years ago.
My point is, if my ah felt the marriage was going down hill fit the last 5 yrs, since my "brain issue", what man would allow his wife to spend her mother's small inheritance, so she would have nothing left!!! This is what've meant by being thrown away.
I no longer have any more earning potential. Yes I did willingly give him my moms money, because I felt we'd be together forever, stupid.,
If I had that money, I could live a frugal, but comfortable life. Now , I'm lucky I can afford to pay my rent.
My ah, will live very comfortably on his mother's money, had the benefit of my work ethic and earnings, and my small inheritance. I guess I was the fool here!! That's what I feel like. My ah has won in so many ways, even though no one ever really wins. He is in control of the situation and knows it! To think I took care of his mother for 2 1/2 years. I am loosing my goodness, in starting to question everyone's motives.
I know, I only have myself to blame for this situation, and I have accepted it. I will never recover financially from this .,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
My point is, if my ah felt the marriage was going down hill fit the last 5 yrs, since my "brain issue", Zircon, believe half of what you read and none of what your hear. Your Ex is facing DV charges and they are serious. He is going to attempt to pull ANY rabbit out of the hat to get out of trouble. Please disregard anything like this as being truthful. Can't you see that he is attempting to mitigate his charges by blame shifting the problem to you?????
what man would allow his wife to spend her mother's small inheritance, so she would have nothing left!!! Now you are putting this back on him again, and buying into that the marriage had been deteriorating for 5 years in his head. Your Ex is an alcoholic - who was the cause of deterioration? You ? LOL. Look, just get over the fact that he is going to attempt to discredit you in every way he can. You were married, it should be an equitable split. You need to gather all your documents regarding your inheritance and how much money you put into the business and so forth. While you may not be able to recoup it all you should be able to recoup some. Honestly the Courts aren't interested in his assertions that you were difficult, or that he was difficult or any of that. The mediators will be looking at what the financial split should be, and that's about it. I am hopeful that you will be on the receiving end of more than you thought.
I don't care that he is going to inherit millions, millions isn't enough to live with a raging, pissed off alcoholic. My guess is within 5 years of inheritance he will be filing Bankruptcy. NO THANKS.
what man would allow his wife to spend her mother's small inheritance, so she would have nothing left!!! Now you are putting this back on him again, and buying into that the marriage had been deteriorating for 5 years in his head. Your Ex is an alcoholic - who was the cause of deterioration? You ? LOL. Look, just get over the fact that he is going to attempt to discredit you in every way he can. You were married, it should be an equitable split. You need to gather all your documents regarding your inheritance and how much money you put into the business and so forth. While you may not be able to recoup it all you should be able to recoup some. Honestly the Courts aren't interested in his assertions that you were difficult, or that he was difficult or any of that. The mediators will be looking at what the financial split should be, and that's about it. I am hopeful that you will be on the receiving end of more than you thought.
I don't care that he is going to inherit millions, millions isn't enough to live with a raging, pissed off alcoholic. My guess is within 5 years of inheritance he will be filing Bankruptcy. NO THANKS.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
My recollection is that you were married a long time, right? So there's a good chance that alimony will be a factor here, too. And for that, the court will factor in your ability to earn a living, versus his resources.
And I'm with red--he and his lawyer can "spin" this however they want to, but it won't make a lick of difference in the outcome. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You might not have the earning capacity you once did, but you're not going to be homeless. You'll be OK in the end.
And I'm with red--he and his lawyer can "spin" this however they want to, but it won't make a lick of difference in the outcome. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You might not have the earning capacity you once did, but you're not going to be homeless. You'll be OK in the end.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Just b/c he and his attorney say it does not make it true. I know it's hard to wait, but indeed, you will have to wait. The courts will sort out what to do with your belongings.
I understand how you feel. Just to get out of our marriage quickly and not drag it out, I accepted a large amount of debt that was mostly his. It stinks, but it is what it is. He now has a better job than I do, and has very little expenses. Much better benefits than me.
I did the same. I was with this man for 18years. However, looking back, I continued to pump money into our marriage and work my butt off while he sat on his duff doing nothing. It makes me sick b/c it's my own fault, but I cannot change it. It was my own bad decision to carry on with him for various reasons. It's not fair, but no one said life would be fair.
I just try to remember how thankful I am to not have to live with him and his chaos anymore. I don't have a lot, but I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, health insurance, and can take care of my kids. That is enough.
Hugs to you my friend.
I understand how you feel. Just to get out of our marriage quickly and not drag it out, I accepted a large amount of debt that was mostly his. It stinks, but it is what it is. He now has a better job than I do, and has very little expenses. Much better benefits than me.
I did the same. I was with this man for 18years. However, looking back, I continued to pump money into our marriage and work my butt off while he sat on his duff doing nothing. It makes me sick b/c it's my own fault, but I cannot change it. It was my own bad decision to carry on with him for various reasons. It's not fair, but no one said life would be fair.
I just try to remember how thankful I am to not have to live with him and his chaos anymore. I don't have a lot, but I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, health insurance, and can take care of my kids. That is enough.
Hugs to you my friend.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Zirccon.....notwithstanding the financial facts of the situation....I DO understand your feelings of being "devalued" or "used" or getting the short end of the stick---or whatever phrase might describe your feeling.
I imagine that it is the "moral trust" that you feel that is broken.
that kind of fracture. in a relationship, is the most painful of all, in my opinion.
It is even worst than a fracture of the purse--it is a fracture of the heart......
dandylion
I imagine that it is the "moral trust" that you feel that is broken.
that kind of fracture. in a relationship, is the most painful of all, in my opinion.
It is even worst than a fracture of the purse--it is a fracture of the heart......
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Thought I Was Having A Rough Day
Hi,
I thought when I posted yesterday, I was having a rough day! Yesterday couldn't compare to my today.
Received a letter from my lawyer. Enclosed was a letter from my ah attorney.
Basically it accused me of being a thief! Stated I had stolen money from the corporate bank account! Stated I needed to repay it immediately.
What happened, and my ah was very much aware. The bank instead of issuing us a corporate credit card, there mistake, they issued us a business solutions credit card that was secured by my credit. I found out about this when I tried to refinance my car. I was told I had too much revolving credit card debt.
All that card was used for was buying our inventory. And then I later noticed my ah was buying his liquor with the card. I never even activated my card. The balance was about 7500.00. I paid the card off using business money, and closed the account. Again everything charged with that card was business inventory accept his booze. I couldn't afford to have that account open and my ah using it, then refusing to pay the huge balance, since my credit secured the card, a bank screw up.
My ah was aware that I had paid it off, and was fine with it.
Now I am being accused of being a thief and stealing money. I'm being told I need to pay it back immediately!!!
I meet with my lawyer on Friday!
How can my ah, who knows what happened, go along with this????
I don't think this man ever lived me. How could he have and accuse me of stealing money!!
I can tell you the good memories if our life together are fading away very quickly.
My ah is not the same man I married! There is such rage and hatried in him. And the lies, gave become his truth. Is this what acholism does?? When does the alcoholic realize what he has done to the people around him!!
Z
I thought when I posted yesterday, I was having a rough day! Yesterday couldn't compare to my today.
Received a letter from my lawyer. Enclosed was a letter from my ah attorney.
Basically it accused me of being a thief! Stated I had stolen money from the corporate bank account! Stated I needed to repay it immediately.
What happened, and my ah was very much aware. The bank instead of issuing us a corporate credit card, there mistake, they issued us a business solutions credit card that was secured by my credit. I found out about this when I tried to refinance my car. I was told I had too much revolving credit card debt.
All that card was used for was buying our inventory. And then I later noticed my ah was buying his liquor with the card. I never even activated my card. The balance was about 7500.00. I paid the card off using business money, and closed the account. Again everything charged with that card was business inventory accept his booze. I couldn't afford to have that account open and my ah using it, then refusing to pay the huge balance, since my credit secured the card, a bank screw up.
My ah was aware that I had paid it off, and was fine with it.
Now I am being accused of being a thief and stealing money. I'm being told I need to pay it back immediately!!!
I meet with my lawyer on Friday!
How can my ah, who knows what happened, go along with this????
I don't think this man ever lived me. How could he have and accuse me of stealing money!!
I can tell you the good memories if our life together are fading away very quickly.
My ah is not the same man I married! There is such rage and hatried in him. And the lies, gave become his truth. Is this what acholism does?? When does the alcoholic realize what he has done to the people around him!!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
They usually don't realize it until they get sober, and he's a long way from there.
IIRC, you called the credit card company about the problem with the card. There should be a record of that call with the credit card company. I'd suggest calling them and seeing if you can get confirmation that the card was issued in error. Also, get the statements showing the only purchases were inventory and booze. Given that YOU'RE the one with the protective order (and there are probably police reports about his intoxication), the court should have no problem believing your version of what happened.
Keep cool, you're letting these things panic you when you don't need to panic. Yes, it's outrageous and insulting that he would make these accusations. They are lies. Courts see through lies--a gazillion of them come before them every day. Explain it to your lawyer, let your lawyer respond, and KEEP COOL. Seriously, every time you let him get under your skin, he scores.
IIRC, you called the credit card company about the problem with the card. There should be a record of that call with the credit card company. I'd suggest calling them and seeing if you can get confirmation that the card was issued in error. Also, get the statements showing the only purchases were inventory and booze. Given that YOU'RE the one with the protective order (and there are probably police reports about his intoxication), the court should have no problem believing your version of what happened.
Keep cool, you're letting these things panic you when you don't need to panic. Yes, it's outrageous and insulting that he would make these accusations. They are lies. Courts see through lies--a gazillion of them come before them every day. Explain it to your lawyer, let your lawyer respond, and KEEP COOL. Seriously, every time you let him get under your skin, he scores.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I understand your anxiety, and hurt. Stay calm, one step at a time.
Get records of the expenses on the card, explain, and end it. You did not steal anything.
My X has accused me of being a fraud LOL. This man was my husband, we were together for 18 years. So yes, it hurt to be called this.
However, I accept this is who he is now. While it's hard to come to the realization of accepting who they are, you will realize it, protect yourself, and move forward.
I am sorry. Big hugs to you.
Get records of the expenses on the card, explain, and end it. You did not steal anything.
My X has accused me of being a fraud LOL. This man was my husband, we were together for 18 years. So yes, it hurt to be called this.
However, I accept this is who he is now. While it's hard to come to the realization of accepting who they are, you will realize it, protect yourself, and move forward.
I am sorry. Big hugs to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Thank You
Hi,
Thank you all for your advice and support. I have had the credit card statement faxed to my lawyers today. I also found the credit card statement that shows about 10 cigarette and liquor purchases.
I also am having the bank print the checks from my checking account for the computer purchases and the money to the state to form out LLC. I'll pick that up tommorrow morning from the bank.
I will bring all of it to my lawyers appt on Friday.
I still legally own half the business. Do I have a right to ask for a copy of all checks written, and all money that's was deposited since January. I invested 10,000.00 of my inheritance.
Also I'm a little fustrated. I saw the perfect mobile home today for me, at the right price. I have some money to put down. I'm renting now. If I bought this, it would reduce my rental payment by 300.00 a month. I called to check on getting financing. They won't finance me because my name is in the mortgage for our home, which makes my income not enough. Even though my ah is paying it!! So I'm gonna lose a nice place, being able to save money each month because this divorce is taking so long!!
Just venting my fustration!!!
Thank you for listening.
Z
Thank you all for your advice and support. I have had the credit card statement faxed to my lawyers today. I also found the credit card statement that shows about 10 cigarette and liquor purchases.
I also am having the bank print the checks from my checking account for the computer purchases and the money to the state to form out LLC. I'll pick that up tommorrow morning from the bank.
I will bring all of it to my lawyers appt on Friday.
I still legally own half the business. Do I have a right to ask for a copy of all checks written, and all money that's was deposited since January. I invested 10,000.00 of my inheritance.
Also I'm a little fustrated. I saw the perfect mobile home today for me, at the right price. I have some money to put down. I'm renting now. If I bought this, it would reduce my rental payment by 300.00 a month. I called to check on getting financing. They won't finance me because my name is in the mortgage for our home, which makes my income not enough. Even though my ah is paying it!! So I'm gonna lose a nice place, being able to save money each month because this divorce is taking so long!!
Just venting my fustration!!!
Thank you for listening.
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Good, now you're taking ACTION. Doesn't it feel better than sitting and wringing your hands? I'm not belittling you in the least--I've been there. But once you start actually DOING something about your situation, it's very empowering.
Don't worry about the mobile home. There will be the right house for you when the time is right. These things have a way of working out as they should--ask the folks here who had the perfect home show up at the perfect time.
Yes, you have a right to all that financial documentation you want. You tell your lawyer about it and let him request it. There's a process with court matters like divorces. Certain ways documentation must be requested and provided. You can help your lawyer by letting him know what kinds of records there are, and what you think they will show.
It will all get sorted. I know it's a frustrating, seemingly endless process, but there WILL be an end to it. Keep taking good care of yourself and remember to keep COOL.
Don't worry about the mobile home. There will be the right house for you when the time is right. These things have a way of working out as they should--ask the folks here who had the perfect home show up at the perfect time.
Yes, you have a right to all that financial documentation you want. You tell your lawyer about it and let him request it. There's a process with court matters like divorces. Certain ways documentation must be requested and provided. You can help your lawyer by letting him know what kinds of records there are, and what you think they will show.
It will all get sorted. I know it's a frustrating, seemingly endless process, but there WILL be an end to it. Keep taking good care of yourself and remember to keep COOL.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
I have had the credit card statement faxed to my lawyers today. I also found the "credit card statement that shows about 10 cigarette and liquor purchases.
I also am having the bank print the checks from my checking account for the computer purchases and the money to the state to form out LLC. I'll pick that up tommorrow morning from the bank.
I will bring all of it to my lawyers appt on Friday."
^^^^^^
Now that is what I call a "next right step".
Zircon, you lady, are fighting the good fight.
Please accept a sitting-electronic ovation along with a big-warm-fuzzy!!
I also am having the bank print the checks from my checking account for the computer purchases and the money to the state to form out LLC. I'll pick that up tommorrow morning from the bank.
I will bring all of it to my lawyers appt on Friday."
^^^^^^
Now that is what I call a "next right step".
Zircon, you lady, are fighting the good fight.
Please accept a sitting-electronic ovation along with a big-warm-fuzzy!!
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