Learning to be patient
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Learning to be patient
I have to admit, it hasn't even been a week since the end of court but I feel myself going from feeling pretty good to feeling worried about things still. I know I shouldn't worry as it will not do me any good, but that fact doesn't stop my mind from racing as it is right now--which is why I am writing here today.
I have to sit here and learn to be patient with the process. Today I went to the county jail to be "booked" for work release and I start my community service under probation's supervision tomorrow. I have to do 5 days of this, so for the next three weeks I will spend about 1-2 days a week doing this to get this behind me. I want it to be over with already, which is funny because going through this sure beats sitting in jail for 5 days.
I have about 10 more group counseling sessions, 2 face to face meetings, and 6 educational classes to go through with the DUI program here in my county. Fortunately I have these scheduled to all be done on Wednesday of each week, but again part of me wants this to be over and done with already.
I guess where my mind is focused on the most right now is my desire to be working again so I can pay off these fines (about $3,900 dollars worth). I just want to be at that 18 month point already where these fines are paid off and I can get off probation and have this whole mess expunged from my criminal record. I want three years to pass so my insurance can start slowly going down again, I want 10 years to pass so this DUI will come off my driving record.
I want, I want, I want. But I have to realize what I want isn't all going to happen right away. One day at a time Frank, it is all going to pan out and get better over time. The worst is already over...I have already been convicted, I am already about to start the work release, and I am already getting through these stupid DUI classes.
For those of you who haven't got a DUI yet--DON'T. For those who already have one--DON'T GET ANOTHER ONE. I know for sure, that I won't ever drink and drive again. I am 100 days sober today, so not drinking and driving should be easy.
I guess part of me is looking forward to 2 1/2 months, 18 months, 3 years, and 10 years down the road already...I yearn to be there, but I have to practice patience and just accept the fact that today things are the way they are. I have to be okay with that. I have to keep believing in the favor of God that I will get through all this, find a great job again, and get things back on track.
Patience...it's a virtue that I don't have yet, but this experience is making me realize how important it is. Eventually its not going to be all about me anymore, it'll be about how I can help another person going through this get through it.
Thank you all for putting up with me, reading my shares, and being such a great support system in my life. Like my family, I don't know what I would do without the people in SR.
I have to sit here and learn to be patient with the process. Today I went to the county jail to be "booked" for work release and I start my community service under probation's supervision tomorrow. I have to do 5 days of this, so for the next three weeks I will spend about 1-2 days a week doing this to get this behind me. I want it to be over with already, which is funny because going through this sure beats sitting in jail for 5 days.
I have about 10 more group counseling sessions, 2 face to face meetings, and 6 educational classes to go through with the DUI program here in my county. Fortunately I have these scheduled to all be done on Wednesday of each week, but again part of me wants this to be over and done with already.
I guess where my mind is focused on the most right now is my desire to be working again so I can pay off these fines (about $3,900 dollars worth). I just want to be at that 18 month point already where these fines are paid off and I can get off probation and have this whole mess expunged from my criminal record. I want three years to pass so my insurance can start slowly going down again, I want 10 years to pass so this DUI will come off my driving record.
I want, I want, I want. But I have to realize what I want isn't all going to happen right away. One day at a time Frank, it is all going to pan out and get better over time. The worst is already over...I have already been convicted, I am already about to start the work release, and I am already getting through these stupid DUI classes.
For those of you who haven't got a DUI yet--DON'T. For those who already have one--DON'T GET ANOTHER ONE. I know for sure, that I won't ever drink and drive again. I am 100 days sober today, so not drinking and driving should be easy.
I guess part of me is looking forward to 2 1/2 months, 18 months, 3 years, and 10 years down the road already...I yearn to be there, but I have to practice patience and just accept the fact that today things are the way they are. I have to be okay with that. I have to keep believing in the favor of God that I will get through all this, find a great job again, and get things back on track.
Patience...it's a virtue that I don't have yet, but this experience is making me realize how important it is. Eventually its not going to be all about me anymore, it'll be about how I can help another person going through this get through it.
Thank you all for putting up with me, reading my shares, and being such a great support system in my life. Like my family, I don't know what I would do without the people in SR.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I always lived in the future Frank so dialling it back and living in the day was hard - but I did it.
Do all you can about your problems today - and the rest let go of until you can do something about those.
If you can't do anything about them at all, it's someone else's responsibility
Worrying will not alter the outcome one bit
D
Do all you can about your problems today - and the rest let go of until you can do something about those.
If you can't do anything about them at all, it's someone else's responsibility
Worrying will not alter the outcome one bit
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
I hear you Dee, it's all easier said than done but I have all the time in the world at the moment to practice this. I want what I cannot have today, that has always been one of my problems in life. Today given everything going on I have to accept what I cannot change at this exact moment. I can change it eventually, but right now I just have to go through it.
Tomorrow at this exact time I'll be coming home from my first day of work release. A fifth of the way there and 100% completion is just around the corner. June 9th(last day of work release), August 3rd(last day of DUI classes), August 13th(day I can get my license back)....they'll eventually come. And August 14th will be my birthday, I look forward to a long road trip somewhere, anywhere. :-)
Tomorrow at this exact time I'll be coming home from my first day of work release. A fifth of the way there and 100% completion is just around the corner. June 9th(last day of work release), August 3rd(last day of DUI classes), August 13th(day I can get my license back)....they'll eventually come. And August 14th will be my birthday, I look forward to a long road trip somewhere, anywhere. :-)
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I always lived in the future Frank so dialling it back and living in the day was hard - but I did it.
Do all you can about your problems today - and the rest let go of until you can do something about those.
If you can't do anything about them at all, it's someone else's responsibility
Worrying will not alter the outcome one bit
D
Do all you can about your problems today - and the rest let go of until you can do something about those.
If you can't do anything about them at all, it's someone else's responsibility
Worrying will not alter the outcome one bit
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I am learning patience by house training a new dog. So I have to be patient when working with her.
I am usually a rather impatient person so I understand you wanting to get to those moments in the future. But they'll get here soon enough.
I am usually a rather impatient person so I understand you wanting to get to those moments in the future. But they'll get here soon enough.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Soberaccountant, Congratulations again on your 100 days sober!
It's understandable that you want to get through these things and move on, but I think that Universe wants you to learn more than 'don't drink & drive' from this experience. I don't know what you might learn, but if you remain open and present, these experiences (work release, dui class, getting your license back) may teach you something unexpected and valuable.
It's understandable that you want to get through these things and move on, but I think that Universe wants you to learn more than 'don't drink & drive' from this experience. I don't know what you might learn, but if you remain open and present, these experiences (work release, dui class, getting your license back) may teach you something unexpected and valuable.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
You're doing the right things, facing your responsibilities squarely, and with dignity. Sounds really good to me.
Mindfulness, like any skill, takes practice - and gets better with time.
I can relate to your impatience to move on from these responsibilities, though. In fact, I have spent most of my life living for what's next, where I'm not even fully enjoying the good stuff.
Keep doing what's right, and turn to others who understand for support when it's difficult.
Mindfulness, like any skill, takes practice - and gets better with time.
I can relate to your impatience to move on from these responsibilities, though. In fact, I have spent most of my life living for what's next, where I'm not even fully enjoying the good stuff.
Keep doing what's right, and turn to others who understand for support when it's difficult.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Love the honesty in your post. One of the best things about this place, you can just put it out there.
Breathe, good things ahead. I completely understand where you're coming from. I also just want this all to be over. Trying to live in the day. Some are good and some are bad right now.
You'll get there
Breathe, good things ahead. I completely understand where you're coming from. I also just want this all to be over. Trying to live in the day. Some are good and some are bad right now.
You'll get there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Well, today I have to admit that patience is still something that I am certainly trying to work on. It is a habit that hasn't come by easy for me. I woke up a bit worried earlier this morning worried about how I am going to find a job with my DUI monkey on my back.
I know what many of you are going to say..."don't worry about it, it'll be fine, cut yourself some slack, i've found a job too". I believe all of you, I really do. I guess this is just a process that I have to keep going through with.
I have been trying to hold off looking for work until August 3rd when my DUI classes are over and I have no schedule issues or worries about commuting. But today I found myself looking a bit obsessively at the job boards and worrying about it. Applying to places fervently...
I know, I need to stop.
So my plan right now? I am going to get my butt on my bike and go for a ride to the beach. Afterwards, I am going to go hit the gym and work on my back and biceps.
Unemployment kicks in in a few weeks anyway, I have resources to hold me over for several months even without UI.
Patience...
Damn its hard sometimes.
I know what many of you are going to say..."don't worry about it, it'll be fine, cut yourself some slack, i've found a job too". I believe all of you, I really do. I guess this is just a process that I have to keep going through with.
I have been trying to hold off looking for work until August 3rd when my DUI classes are over and I have no schedule issues or worries about commuting. But today I found myself looking a bit obsessively at the job boards and worrying about it. Applying to places fervently...
I know, I need to stop.
So my plan right now? I am going to get my butt on my bike and go for a ride to the beach. Afterwards, I am going to go hit the gym and work on my back and biceps.
Unemployment kicks in in a few weeks anyway, I have resources to hold me over for several months even without UI.
Patience...
Damn its hard sometimes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
I'm learning patience as well...have been my whole life I guess.
I've never gotten a DUI, but surely deserve at least one. Now recently sober, I know that I will have to somehow "pay" for those mistakes in which I definitely could have killed someone.
I've never gotten a DUI, but surely deserve at least one. Now recently sober, I know that I will have to somehow "pay" for those mistakes in which I definitely could have killed someone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Frank, you are learning and you are doing great. You are working through this uncharted territory and learning about yourself. I think you have a good plan and I think you will find the job you want in August.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by Anna
Frank, you are learning and you are doing great. You are working through this uncharted territory and learning about yourself. I think you have a good plan and I think you will find the job you want in August.
It's because I have wonderful people like you who keep pushing me, encouraging me to move forward and carry on. I had no hope coming to these forums just four months ago. Today is a lot different, tomorrow only gets better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Frank you are doing SOO much better than when you first signed up. Its fun to watch your progress.
Side note: How in the hell does an accountant not have patience?? I had to do my taxes for my business and it drove me nuts!
Side note: How in the hell does an accountant not have patience?? I had to do my taxes for my business and it drove me nuts!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
"I woke up a bit worried earlier this morning worried about how I am going to find a job with my DUI monkey on my back. "
Many years ago, I had a boss who was an alcoholic. He was a commercial loan officer and an officer of the bank. He was counseled a couple of times by HR and his superior, along with an offer of paid leave, but he still continued to drink. The straw that led to his dismissal was he fell asleep at his desk with the door open for staff and customers to see. Anyway, to my point - when he was sober, he was extremely competent and had the respect of many businessmen. Ultimately he went to treatment and was offered a job as a finance manager of a large hotel. He was caught drinking and dismissed from that job. When sober again, he was offered a job as a CFO of a wildlife center. Sorry for rambling, but I feel some of your clients will provide an opportunity for employment in some sort of financial field. Congratulations on your awesome sobriety time.
Best wishes.
Many years ago, I had a boss who was an alcoholic. He was a commercial loan officer and an officer of the bank. He was counseled a couple of times by HR and his superior, along with an offer of paid leave, but he still continued to drink. The straw that led to his dismissal was he fell asleep at his desk with the door open for staff and customers to see. Anyway, to my point - when he was sober, he was extremely competent and had the respect of many businessmen. Ultimately he went to treatment and was offered a job as a finance manager of a large hotel. He was caught drinking and dismissed from that job. When sober again, he was offered a job as a CFO of a wildlife center. Sorry for rambling, but I feel some of your clients will provide an opportunity for employment in some sort of financial field. Congratulations on your awesome sobriety time.
Best wishes.
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