irishguy2016

My first time here but I decided to join

I am worried about my drinking. Just this weekend, i decided ok my partner is away, i will get a nice steak a beer a few glasses of wine...

of course it did not pan out that way, a few beers a bottle of wine, a few more beers in a bar, back home to get money and then to a club

I was shattered the next day, no idea what time i got home, was in bed most of the day - got up for about 2 hours i think

I can't tell my gf about this or anyone else, i am so ashamed, embarrassed, frightened and disgusted with myself

Over the last year things have got worse and worse and I am doing more and more stupid things

I really do need advice or help ;(

I have so much to lose and not so much to gain

I have a big company conference in July and would like to go there enjoy myself and either not drink at all or drink very little, although i think not drink at all would be the best

misscostalot

I do this too. . . set out with the best of intentions and end up staying out all night.

You are not alone!

irishguy2016

Yes the problem is I have started to go out alone, or for example when I went out for a work doo, I got so drunk I can't remember anything, not even how I got home ;(

I need to stop all this nonsense as I don't want to be this person

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Irishguy! You'll find a ton of support and understanding here, most of us were exactly where you are ( or worse ) with our drinking at some point. Your last point is a very important one to remember I think - that you realize that abstinence would be better than drinking "just a little". If you are an alcoholic like most of us, there is no such thing as drinking "just a little" or "only a few". And we can never go back to that, it's simply not an option.

You'll here a lot about having a "plan" for your recovery. This thread is a very good one to read regarding that concept, I'd highly recommend giving it a read.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

irishguy2016

Thank you Scott

You know there are times when I think can I live without a drink, ie the social events will be tricky, the birthday parties, etc etc

I know it is an excuse, and I know myself deep down that the more I drink, the worse I am becoming, the challenge is I don't know why, as my life outside of drink is ok, I have a job, a great partner live in a nice city etc.

It's literally killing me but I am going to check out the links
Thanks so much

JD

Welcome irishguy. The thing with alcohol is that many of us have lives we should be/are grateful for yet we still drink to excess. You don't need to have a messed up life and be homeless to be an alcoholic. It happens to people in all walks of life. The one thing though, is it will get worse and sooner or later you will start losing things that are dear to you.

If alcohol is causing a problem for you it's best to just stop drinking and stay stopped. I think I'm older than you and have gone through the whole idea of moderating. It doesn't work. You'll find it's much easier to just stop. And, frankly, for me I don't want to drink moderately. I like the feeling of a buzz. I don't like the after effects though. So abstinence is the way to go for me.

irishguy2016

Thank you so much for the welcome

Yes I have gone thru a few of the threads here and I am in awe of the people. And I can see that it is correct we don't have to be at one level or another or have one issue or another, for each person has their own issues with alcohol

Yes I have tried to stop, and control it, and say I have it under control but it never is. It's a monster that just takes over. And it should be easier for me because my girlfriend does not really drink at all, she can take it or leave it.

I need to study everything here to make sure I can cope with a few nights that are coming up.

My head is reeling now from so much info ...

frankster

Hi Irishguy. Welcome. I've been there done that. Big time. Eventually I was staying out for days, emptying the bank, crawling back begging for forgiveness. Then I'd stay sober for a few weeks, maybe longer, only to repeat the same horror show all over again. Nightmare. I have a great family, and everything to live for. Why am I like this? I'm an alcoholic. Drinking isn't an option. Search yourself inside. Take it easy. Stay sober.

CountrysideMan

Hi Irishguy,
First time here for me too. I've read a lot threads previously and was inspired to join. I run my own business, have a wonderful home and a great wife, but I've been drinking daily for a decade. I've tried to stop in the past, but it is only recently that I've realised I'm no longer in control. I'll introduce myself properly in a separate thread, but just wanted to say, everyone on here seems really supportive and when I set a date to go sober (soon, I hope), I know being part of this site is going to help.

irishguy2016

thanks so much guys for your support and cheer

I read in another thread the idea of forever is such a hard concept and it is true, it seems like will i be able to make it that long?

I hope so ....

JD

Don't worry about forever. It never gets here anyway. Just worry about the day. And then repeat that when tomorrow comes.

Soberwolf

Welcome Irish guy

frankster

Take it one day at a time friend.

LostManhattan

Hi Irishguy

I have totally done the "Nobody Is Here I Can Drink Myself Stupid" event. Question is why do we think we are nobody?

oldsoul1122

Welcome!Thoughts about drinking were such a lie and so powerful! I'd picture in my mind drinking that alcohol/food with all the fine feelings along with it. That was a high in itself and would only be better real soon!!! Yea right. In reality it only lasted a little while and then the same bad results every time. I've been sober 10 months and the thought of not drinking forever is such a feeling of freedom I can't describe! It's difficult to imagine when alcohol is messing with your mind and perceptions of what will be.

Dee74

Welcome Irishguy

The drink very little path led nowhere for me - as soon as I drank I drank til I fell down. Not drinking at all works a lot better for me

D

least

The thought of never drinking again used to scare me, but now the thought of drinking again scares me even more. I love my sober life and have never been happier.

zlhzlh

Welcome Irish guy and join the " I don't do moderation club"..........it's not easy to quit but the benefits so out way anything else! Make a plan and keep posting/ reading here, it helps a lot. Z

irishguy2016

thanks so much guys
you know I was thinking about it a lot when I saw the two empty bottles of beer in the kitchen from the weekend.

I knew there was a beer in the fridge and thought ah sure, but I didn't

you know last night i had a panic thinking shoot did I spend money on my joint credit card that my partner can see? What if I did and now she sees my secret etc

It is horrible but then i think hey it's my birthday coming up so I might have a glass of wine, and control it. I know that it will be easier as i will have my partner there.

however my big event will be this company conference where I do not want to drink, but you know I need to read a lot here as it is so tough and I need to find the strategies

Sorry guys rambling a bit.

My danger area is when my partner is not about, like last weekend, where I didn't realise where the tipping point was into my madness of drinking.

Ok I will stop now and lest to say all is good for the moment

thanks for your support and if I can help in anyway