overforty

My AV is screaming today!
I'm working with a woman that is well known in the work place to be one of THE most irritating people in the world!

My patience and understanding is completely missing today and I just can't stand it anymore!
I have taken myself out of work for an hour to calm down and take a breath and tell myself that I am choosing to react this way!

I have decided to have a drink when I get home.
Maybe I will change my mind in the next 5 and a half hours - but I have decided it's ok if I choose to drink.

Maybe I'll need SR in the future but for now I just want a bottle of wine!
X

least

I hope you decide NOT to have a drink when you get home. Read your old posts to remind yourself of why you got sober in the first place. There are better ways to unwind than drinking. I hope you don't give in to the lying voice.

LadyBlue0527

Overforty, you came here for a reason. You don't really want to do this. Seriously think about it. What is that going to accomplish? What is your plan instead?

Mountainmanbob

I learned in the past that once I start entertaining the thought of drinking, before long I do have a drink in my hand.

In my case only to ask of myself later, what the heck is going on ? Why did I do that ?

Drinking never brought me [lasting] happiness. Only sobriety brought that. Proven over and over again.

It's very easy for me to fool myself.

Think it all through, is it really the right thing for you to do ?

MB

zlhzlh

Over forty........there will be days like this, but the longer you are sober the easier you will deal with it. Please, don't crack under pressure just because somebody has annoyed you. Deep breath, think about the hot bath, coffee, great book you have waiting for you at home. Don't let this beat you, believe me, if you were hungover tomorrow in the same situation it would be a whole lot worse

2ndhandrose

I hope you are just blowing off steam right now.

I read this on SR, (not sure who said it and I will probably garble it a bit):

Recovery happens in the moments between a craving rearing up and choosing to ignore that craving.

Beallara

Don't choose to give in to that deceitful addictive voice (AV). It wants to take everything from you. Don't allow it to.

You're stronger than your AV.

Go home and take a bubble bath. Punch a pillow. Work out until you're sweating buckets. Binge on ice cream. Do ANYTHING other than pick up that drink.

You deserve better!

AnvilheadII

and how is YOU drinking going to resolve anything? you will need to learn better tools to deal with daily life annoyances.......drinking is not a tool. it only harms you. and really it's just your inner addict looking for any EXCUSE......reasonable or not.

you are either committed to sobriety......or not. i think perhaps coming here and telling on yourself MIGHT indicate that you do want to stay sober. i sure hope so.

Ariesagain

Coping ability dissolves in alcohol. So does perspective.

You can get through this.

SoulShine8

Mountainman is telling the truth. I completely sympathize with you overforty. Good for you, taking a moment for yourself to take a breath. I also work with some of the most irritating people and have let the stress from that open the door WIDE OPEN for the AV. It always happens to me when I get in the car to go home from work. In the parking lot, or on the drive out of my work to the main road, or on the main highway - halfway across I am deciding where I am going to stop to get beer or wine. And did I need to buy some snacks to go with. It was a done deal. It seemed my mind was working on its own.
And...
then the next morning waking up, feeling like it was such a waste, what was I doing - please, I am NOT going to do this again tonight no matter what happens today. It was a never-ending cycle at times. One stressful day could put me on a week or month long binge of nightly drinking.
I don't have the answer(s) or I would have stopped myself long ago. But one thing I am doing now, is stopping the stinking thinking. I try to do battle with it. When I think I deserve to have a drink tonite...that so-and-so has drove me crazy. I immediately form an opposite thought: I have been doing so good here lately. I'm better than so-and-so's BS. Get over this moment and let it (them) go. I'm doing ok, the world isn't falling apart. Breathe. I make up any - any thought that is going to either make me feel better or capable. I'm prone to getting overwhelmed so sometimes I just say get through the next five minutes or just get home without stopping anywhere. Sometimes it's just doing the next easiest step that I can do that can get me to a stronger point in my mind that will be able to ignore the dumb voice that leads me to a binge. I've been doing that for 2 weeks. And yes, I am having a problem with a certain person at work now that I would rather not deal with. I am not going to let that person make me fail. They aren't worth it. And they definitely aren't going to be worth it next week when I am still not drinking or next month or next year. Are they or this situation going to matter to me in five years? Hell no. All I gotta do today is take care of ME the best I can. What they are doing, not my business, I don't care. It's all about keeping myself safe and cared for. I'm not so good at it right now because I've never really done that before. But I'm doing a heck of a lot better than when I was drinking and not caring for myself. One foot in front of the other, you can't eat an elephant all in one bite, etc.

I wish you the best. I hope you do the best you can do with this situation today.

On The Road

Overforty - there's a huge difference between thinking about a drink and choosing one five hours in-advance.

Please think about that and come up with a plan. Do whatever it takes to go to bed sober tonight, even if that means you do so as soon as you get in!

ZenLifter

I have found that irritating people seem much more irritating when I am hungover. Just sayin.... 😜

madgirl

LOL Zen lifter - ain't that the truth.

Over40 - why did you want to get sober in the first place?

madgirl

Over40 I'm going to the grocery store, but when I get back I am going to check this thread. I think it would be helpful for you to actually type out the reasons you committed to sobriety in the first place.

sleepie

It's only temporary. Life will always be full of irritations and button pushers. Some people just have nothing better to do.

But, if you drink today it will only stave off the inevitable- at some point you will have to learn to cope with these things without turning to alcohol.

If and when you choose to do so is of course up to you.

FindingCake

Maybe stop and get yourself a treat instead? I know it's so easy to want to slip back into what your AV thinks will help you.

Let your logical mind take over. You know it won't really help and then you'll likely be angry and disappointed in yourself instead.

What's your favorite treat?

BixBees505

Some great perspective and ideas given here. I really like 2ndHand's comment about recovery being gained in those moments between craving and putting DOWN that craving. Something kind of Zen about that, too...returning, as many times as it takes, to the sober decision.

Over40...we are pulling for you. So glad you posted.

chrcarlson

Yep, that's how it works. It's great you posted. If you haven't picked up a drink there IS still time to change your alcohol addicted mind. If not then I can write your post for tomorrow. We all know what it is going to say. That post is not written yet. How great it would be for us to read you won a tough battle. WoW, if you could just post you were strong enough to change your mind, that would be epic!

Best Wishes
chris

chrcarlson

Overforty if you can do not drink just Today, I think there's a very good chance you can quit forever.

frankster

PLAY THE TAPE THRU! otherwise see ya when you get back, if you do.