Ever so grateful for Friday nights
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Ever so grateful for Friday nights
Do you know how much I used to hate Friday nights? Well, Fridays in general. I hated them. My then husband would usually cut out of work early on Fridays and I never knew which person I would come home to-and what mood he would be in. And I was so anxious-it was palpable. I hated knowing that the next two days he would inevitably be drunk at least one if not all of the nights-regardless of what his family was doing. I walked on so many eggshells. Fridays were the absolute worst for me; for him, it was time for starting to ramp up the drinking and disgusting and abusive behavior. Never knew of Friday night would entail just a "few" beers and a nice gentle offer to take a bath with him or if it would be the other demon side of him, lashing out and abusing and then leaving the house bc I stood up to him. Many times not coming home and just shutting off his phone. Him always leaving the house and running to mommys to tell her how awful I was (lie) and continue drinking at her home or drunk dialing his friends and big sissy throwing me under the bus and rattling on about how much of an idiot I was bc I called him an alcoholic-and naturally big sissy and all others agreed wholeheartedly that he was just fine, they all drank like he did so no worries - must be me that caused him to treat us the way he did. Those were my weekends. Literally. I hated going to work on Fridays not knowing who or what I was coming home to and trying to think of all the possible things that could (and would) happen so I would know what to do if A,B or C took place. God I hated Fridays.
Today I started my day waking up my kiddos and making breakfast. Not worrying about a drubken idiot that had no memory ( or care) of what he did last night. Our drive to school was belting out Lecraes "calling all the messengers" and discussing our daily devitional. Ridiculously busy day at work and getting the girls from school. Nice drive back to our new coubtry home and playing and dancing around the house. Dinner served with no drama. Kids laughing with an over the moon happy momma. Night walk around the new hood with flashlights listening to the crickets and frogs and talking with neighbors. Ha! And not a plan of escape in sight-bc we don't need one anymore-we are free. No worry about him or somebody ruining the peace, or what my daughters will witness him do or say to me, etc. He and his demons are gone-exorcised from our lives. hallelujah.
I realize I've been out of my marriage for quite some time but each day I still find new things I'm grateful for after getting out-today, it is grateful for Fridays! Bring on the weekend!
Thanks for listening, y'all. Have a very blessed night and weekend. And to those struggling or on the fence, know that there IS a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know it because I've found it.
Peace to y'all!
Today I started my day waking up my kiddos and making breakfast. Not worrying about a drubken idiot that had no memory ( or care) of what he did last night. Our drive to school was belting out Lecraes "calling all the messengers" and discussing our daily devitional. Ridiculously busy day at work and getting the girls from school. Nice drive back to our new coubtry home and playing and dancing around the house. Dinner served with no drama. Kids laughing with an over the moon happy momma. Night walk around the new hood with flashlights listening to the crickets and frogs and talking with neighbors. Ha! And not a plan of escape in sight-bc we don't need one anymore-we are free. No worry about him or somebody ruining the peace, or what my daughters will witness him do or say to me, etc. He and his demons are gone-exorcised from our lives. hallelujah.
I realize I've been out of my marriage for quite some time but each day I still find new things I'm grateful for after getting out-today, it is grateful for Fridays! Bring on the weekend!
Thanks for listening, y'all. Have a very blessed night and weekend. And to those struggling or on the fence, know that there IS a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know it because I've found it.
Peace to y'all!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 157
I can't agree more! I'm not as far along as you, but I was just thinking this morning that normally, I wasn't really that excited for Fridays because that meant 2 days with STBXAH, which probably meant either him spoiling my weekend with his dry drunk behavior or drinking and then lying about it. Of course it's an adjustment to be on my own, but I can feel the anxiety slowly going away and I'm starting to cherish my time alone after the kids are in bed.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 146
ForOurGirls.... I know what you mean about dreading Fridays.... Unfortunately, his days off are Thursdays and Fridays. He goes back to work on Saturdays. So his "Weekends" start on Wednesdays after work at 2pm, continue through his days off, and then again on Saturday, because it is the actual weekend!
I work the night shift and finally got to bed at about noon today. Woke up at six so I could get my boys' uniforms washed for soccer games all weekend. When I woke up, XABF was already drunk. Telling me a story about getting his oil changed and how he got a great deal on some tires. I tried to be a part of his conversation, however, he would keep cutting me off. This story went on for over an hour!!! He kept saying, "to keep a long story short..." blah, blah, blah... After about 45 minutes, he said, "I don't even know why I am even talking to you. It is obvious you don't care." I said, "I cared the first time you told me about it. You've now repeated the same parts of the story about 10 times. I'm waiting for you to get to the point." I have such a low tolerance these days for his drunken behavior. Even if the conversation is non-confrontational, it is annoying to hear about the same thing, over and over and over again! I would be willing to bet that he tells me all about it again tomorrow, to which I will respond that he told me that yesterday, which he will deny and tell me that I just don't care. He would be right. I don't care. If he was sharing something with me that wasn't some alcohol driven rant, I might care, but right now, I don't.
Looking forward to peaceful weekends.... Thanks!
I work the night shift and finally got to bed at about noon today. Woke up at six so I could get my boys' uniforms washed for soccer games all weekend. When I woke up, XABF was already drunk. Telling me a story about getting his oil changed and how he got a great deal on some tires. I tried to be a part of his conversation, however, he would keep cutting me off. This story went on for over an hour!!! He kept saying, "to keep a long story short..." blah, blah, blah... After about 45 minutes, he said, "I don't even know why I am even talking to you. It is obvious you don't care." I said, "I cared the first time you told me about it. You've now repeated the same parts of the story about 10 times. I'm waiting for you to get to the point." I have such a low tolerance these days for his drunken behavior. Even if the conversation is non-confrontational, it is annoying to hear about the same thing, over and over and over again! I would be willing to bet that he tells me all about it again tomorrow, to which I will respond that he told me that yesterday, which he will deny and tell me that I just don't care. He would be right. I don't care. If he was sharing something with me that wasn't some alcohol driven rant, I might care, but right now, I don't.
Looking forward to peaceful weekends.... Thanks!
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
FOG, I really enjoyed your post and the picture you painted, especially the part about walking around the neighbourhood with torches.
Fridays for me used to be about drinking until drunk (no family involved) and it was the hardest evening after I became sober, because one of the triggers was feeling I deserved a reward for a long week. Now I don't give alcohol a second thought, unless it ambushes me, and if it does I can use my strategies to cope.
Fridays for me used to be about drinking until drunk (no family involved) and it was the hardest evening after I became sober, because one of the triggers was feeling I deserved a reward for a long week. Now I don't give alcohol a second thought, unless it ambushes me, and if it does I can use my strategies to cope.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Fog, love this post!!
I too appreciate my freedom of working in the flower beds on a Friday night and not having to go sit in a bar with him (I hate bars). I am grateful that I don't have to deal with his miserable self complaining that someone "screwed" him somehow. My whole marriage was building up his self-esteem as he was always so depressed. (Now I recognize that this is not normal in a relationship)
You don't think about it, but I think we all carry a "house" on our shoulders, dealing with an alcoholic. My boring little life is just perfect for me, also.
Hugs my friend, enjoy your little precious "fogs"!!!!
I too appreciate my freedom of working in the flower beds on a Friday night and not having to go sit in a bar with him (I hate bars). I am grateful that I don't have to deal with his miserable self complaining that someone "screwed" him somehow. My whole marriage was building up his self-esteem as he was always so depressed. (Now I recognize that this is not normal in a relationship)
You don't think about it, but I think we all carry a "house" on our shoulders, dealing with an alcoholic. My boring little life is just perfect for me, also.
Hugs my friend, enjoy your little precious "fogs"!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Caretaker-yes! Oh my , the drunken repeating. Seriously. You DO get to a point that you just don't care anymore-if there was a lucid non drunk thought that hasn't been slurred and repeated ten time (and night after night), then I would have absolutely cared. See? More to be grateful for-no more drunken repetitive sad stories about how the world and everyone had wronged him and me spending my life trying to build him up and lead him in the right direction-one of truth and integrity. What an absolute waste of my time. Grateful so grateful not my life anymore! I don't know what on the agenda tonight, but I DO know what is not-and that is worth everything. Peace, y'all! Thanks for your responses and support 
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Peace to you, as well!!! I totally get it.
My bf is usually exhausted by Friday night so last night we sat on the back porch and talked for a few hours. My nights are peaceful, my sleep is quiet and rested, and I am so grateful that I am out of my marriage as well, even though I will have financial struggles ahead of me......the leap of faith I made was just plain old worth it!
My bf is usually exhausted by Friday night so last night we sat on the back porch and talked for a few hours. My nights are peaceful, my sleep is quiet and rested, and I am so grateful that I am out of my marriage as well, even though I will have financial struggles ahead of me......the leap of faith I made was just plain old worth it!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You can't put a price on freedom, can you? I remember the feeling of WEIGHT that was lifted when I got out of a bad relationship (alcoholic or not).
And totally relate to FG's post, too--I can't even imagine losing myself in a drunken haze as being pleasurable anymore. It's so much better just being "all THERE."
And totally relate to FG's post, too--I can't even imagine losing myself in a drunken haze as being pleasurable anymore. It's so much better just being "all THERE."
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh man, how I usto dread the weekends and the holidays. I hated the work week to end. That is so sad.
I still feel anxiety when my DD is going to her dad's house, but it's not as bad. I have a sneaking suspicion that he is doing somewhat better lately b/c he is going to petition the courts for more time w/in the next year with her. Ugh. I cannot control that, so I just take it day by day.
However, I will say, I love the weekends, and I love the new memories I make with my kids!!
I still feel anxiety when my DD is going to her dad's house, but it's not as bad. I have a sneaking suspicion that he is doing somewhat better lately b/c he is going to petition the courts for more time w/in the next year with her. Ugh. I cannot control that, so I just take it day by day.
However, I will say, I love the weekends, and I love the new memories I make with my kids!!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
I understand how you feel - the thought of 'what ugly moods are going to happen this weekend?', 'for what am I going to blamed THIS time?', 'where is she going to end up passed out tonight?'.
I like Monday mornings because I get to escape back to the quiet and peace of the office! A place where people are sober, friendly, and can carry on adult conversations.
I'm so happy you have peace and are having so much fun with your kids!
I like Monday mornings because I get to escape back to the quiet and peace of the office! A place where people are sober, friendly, and can carry on adult conversations.
I'm so happy you have peace and are having so much fun with your kids!
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