STBXAH's Dog
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
STBXAH's Dog
I have written about STBXAH's dog several times here. The short version is that we both brought dogs into our marriage, and when I left I kept my dog, and he kept his. His dog was at least two years past the average lifespan for his breed, and struggled with severe arthritis and some other health issues. I, in turn, struggled to balance my desire and need for detachment with my absolute refusal to allow this dog to suffer needlessly if STBXAH wasn't stepping up to his obligations. I could not have taken STBXAH's dog with me when I moved, because he is a very big dog, and there is a 25 pound weight limit in my apartment building.
After a health scare several months ago that I honestly believed was the end, the dog rallied enough that he was comfortable and happy. However, on Monday of this week, STBXAH took him to the vet because he hadn't been eating, and had started to cough and act disoriented. The vet took some X-Rays, which revealed something in his abdomen that was pushing his organs out of their usual places. Rather than put this incredibly old, frail dog through a bunch of tests, she sent him home with some antibiotics on the off chance they would help him.
As I was preparing to leave work tonight, STBXAH called. He was taking the dog back into the vet, because he was not doing well. He called again 45 minutes later to tell me that he thought it was time, but that he just wanted to talk it through with me. I told him that I supported his decision, and that I thought we had reached the point that the dog was suffering needlessly. He asked if I thought he should bring the dog home for one more night, and I asked if the dog was in apparent distress. He said he was, and my response was that if it was my decision, I would put the dog down tonight.
This sweet dog crossed the rainbow bridge around 5:30 this evening. My heart is shattered, and my kids' hearts are shattered. But that is nothing compared to how STBXAH feels. Tonight I am simply holding him in my heart. I am proud of him for doing the right thing.
After a health scare several months ago that I honestly believed was the end, the dog rallied enough that he was comfortable and happy. However, on Monday of this week, STBXAH took him to the vet because he hadn't been eating, and had started to cough and act disoriented. The vet took some X-Rays, which revealed something in his abdomen that was pushing his organs out of their usual places. Rather than put this incredibly old, frail dog through a bunch of tests, she sent him home with some antibiotics on the off chance they would help him.
As I was preparing to leave work tonight, STBXAH called. He was taking the dog back into the vet, because he was not doing well. He called again 45 minutes later to tell me that he thought it was time, but that he just wanted to talk it through with me. I told him that I supported his decision, and that I thought we had reached the point that the dog was suffering needlessly. He asked if I thought he should bring the dog home for one more night, and I asked if the dog was in apparent distress. He said he was, and my response was that if it was my decision, I would put the dog down tonight.
This sweet dog crossed the rainbow bridge around 5:30 this evening. My heart is shattered, and my kids' hearts are shattered. But that is nothing compared to how STBXAH feels. Tonight I am simply holding him in my heart. I am proud of him for doing the right thing.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Wisconsin.....My heart is hurting for your loss. We get to borrow them for a little while...and
you had the privilege of sharing his life with him....
I know that you all gave him a l oving and good life....and, I pray that the wonderful memories will come to ease the sadness that you are feeling....
Love,
dandylion
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
W-oh friend, I'm so incredibly sorry. I do know your pain and I feel it. I lost my doggie love of my life a few months ago and it still hurts. I hear dogs barking and I think it's her 
my ex was extremely close to her and I prayed a lot for him when she left this world to go to a better place-free of pain. I'm praying for y'all tonight-I'm so sorry for your loss, sincerely.
my ex was extremely close to her and I prayed a lot for him when she left this world to go to a better place-free of pain. I'm praying for y'all tonight-I'm so sorry for your loss, sincerely.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Wisconsin, I'm glad you were able to offer AH enough support to help him make the right decision, and I'm glad he had the strength to follow thru. I am sad for you and the kids, but like you, I am extra sad for AH b/c there is no silence quite so horrible as the silence of a house w/o its hound.
My lamp is lit to light Tony's crossing of the bridge. I feel certain that Simon, Sam, Major, Big Girl and Little Girl, Frito, Angie, Nardo, Metaka and all the other dogs I have loved are waiting to greet him, where he is young and strong again.
(((((Wisconsin)))))
My lamp is lit to light Tony's crossing of the bridge. I feel certain that Simon, Sam, Major, Big Girl and Little Girl, Frito, Angie, Nardo, Metaka and all the other dogs I have loved are waiting to greet him, where he is young and strong again.
(((((Wisconsin)))))
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Its the worst day for being a fur parent. We had to put our 3 cats down last year one after the other. Everyone kept telling me that being able to end the suffering is a gift we have to give - and I believe it is. But, making that decision is traumatic and so hard to decide sometimes is it the right time? Could there be one more day? I understand how your Ex felt about "maybe one more night". Its just heartbreaking. I am so glad he called, and you were able to guide him to what was right. "one more night" can end in a very traumatic way.
Hugs to your family and Ex Husband. It just sucks.
Hugs to your family and Ex Husband. It just sucks.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
Posts: 658
I guess its worse to see them suffer than it is to put them down... we had to put a 17yr old cat to sleep- the last of 3 feral kittens that adopted us when we moved in to our house. She was a great cat. Feel for you Wisconsin!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Thank you for your kind words, everyone. Tony was an exceptionally great dog, especially considering that a prior owner beat him nearly to death with a baseball bat. The idea that a dog would even want to be around humans after an experience like that... (that guy went to jail for his attack on Tony, by the way)
We were never sure of his age, but our best guess is that he was around 5 years old when STBXAH adopted him from the rescue, which would have made him about 14 at the time of his passing. That's a pretty great run for a dog.
We were never sure of his age, but our best guess is that he was around 5 years old when STBXAH adopted him from the rescue, which would have made him about 14 at the time of his passing. That's a pretty great run for a dog.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
That was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so dang hard to put our dogs down. They have no voice but we know when they are suffering and they look to us to comfort them and to help them cross over. Hugs to you today and to the kids, too.
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