AdelineRose

Hey guys!

I am so unbelievably frustrated right now and since I am working on not getting into arguments over things I know that I cannot change and not getting into arguments over things that really do not have anything to do with me, I have to let this steam off somewhere!

I have cut everyone out that was in my life while using. I want nothing to do with anyone that is actively using because I know they were never real friends, I had the boyfriend that sold heroin, common let's be real... no one blew up my phone saying how amazing they thought I was because they loved me.. Any hoo...

I was at Walmart and I happened to run into 2 girls that I used to know. One was visibly pregnant and the other just looked like she had gained weight. Neither girl could hold their eyes open and they both felt the need to tell me how they are pregnant, ask me why I wasn't pregnant yet..don't I even want kids?!?!, and then at the end of the convocation proceeded to take out their phones and say "Omg we have been calling you, give us your number WE NEEEEEDDDDD YOU". I gave a fake number and said I didn't have my phone on me...but both numerous times asked me if I had anything to sell them, asking if I would give them my dealers number, and one even followed me to the bathroom claiming pregnancy had her peeing all the time but I know she thought she'd catch me in there doing something. I told both of them numerous times that I was sober and they just laughed..that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is one is 7 months pregnant and the other is almost 3 months pregnant both are obviously extremely high on heroin, and both asked for a number of a dealer and begged me to give them some of mine (they couldn't understand that I was sober and not on drugs).

I know it is not my place to judge, that I have never been in their position so who am I to say what I would have done 11 months ago if I had gotten pregnant. I know that it is none of my business and that I cannot do anything about it. It just breaks my heart. The one girl already has 4 kids and the other this is her 2nd. Both girls do not have custody of any of their kids, but it just breaks my heart. Those poor little kids that don't understand why they can't live with mommy, and those poor unborn babies that are going to be born addicted to heroin. I was an adult who know what was happening to me and why I was sick and heroin w.d brought me to my knees.

I really just needed to get my feelings out so that I can try to move forward. God I hate running into people.

Oh and both asked me if I wanted to go outside and smoke a cig with them...RAWWRRRRRR

Anna

Wow, that is a really sad situation. I hope those young women make a decision to change their lives. I can imagine how upsetting it was to run into them. I'm glad you got through that and stayed sober.

AdelineRose

If for even a second a thought there was even the smallest chance that anything I could have said would have helped them even begin to see recovery as an option I would have said something, but when someone isn't ready they just plain aren't ready. Birth control is so available these days that is what kills me even more. You can even get it for free! Sadly, alot of girls that I know that are heroin addicts actually try to get pregnant and think that babies are something cute to have like a small puppy. -shakes head- I am so grateful I never found myself in that situation. I made sure if nothing else I took my birth control because I knew I was a mess.

I think I will start going to the Walmart in a different town. Walmart is the place I am most likely to run into someone that I used to know. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I haven't run into more people.

entropy1964

Well I guess it's a moment of silent compassion for the addict who still suffers.....

Anna

Yes, for sure.

FormerWineGirl

Oh my, those poor babies. It breaks my heart, I can only imagine you having to actually talk to them knowing they were high. I just cannot understand the mindset of these people bringing more babies into the world - addicted, no less, and don't even have custody of the ones they already have. So sad.

thomas11

Your head is in the right place, so good for you. As far as venting, this is a good place to do it. Hopefully those pregnant girls will figure it out someday. It is really sad though.

AdelineRose

A lot of addicts hide behind "unless you are an addict you couldn't understand" but I have been an addict, I have been an addict that purposely never came off birth control even though I worried that one day it would make it hard to get pregnant because I was so worried about what would happen if I did. Whether I was extra careful because I was worried if I got pregnant because I was afraid I'd have to stop using or if I was extra careful because I knew I wasn't healthy or ready to have a baby either way I refused to "let it up to chance"

Both girls asked if I would go outside and smoke a cig with them.. I said no because first off I was not giving out a cig to a pregnant woman and I wasn't going to give two cigs for free to two people I don't even like.

I feel bad for the people who live in my old apartment..I wonder how many people showed up there looking for my bf. Lovely people strung out dope sick banging on the door...

Soberwolf

thomas11

Kind of a side note AdelinaRose; I am older and was raised to think heroin was the absolute hardest drug a person could do, I've changed my mind on that. I do believe there are perfectly functioning heroin addicts. So much inaccurate information on the drug. And nowadays, it seems to be everywhere.

Not excusing its use, but there is stuff out there now that I think it much worse than heroin.

madgirl

This story is horrific. Adeline, your instinct to RUN from these former acquaintances and haunts is exactly 100% correct in my opinion.

AdelineRose

I am a recovering heroin addict that has always had a job, has two undergrad degrees, one semester away from a law degree- I know that heroin addicts can be "functioning"; as long as they don't run out of money. BUT what babies born addicted to heroin are born dealing with is not something I would ever wish on my worst enemy. Crying until they pass out and then crying again..nvm it is almost an animal noise that comes out...I just don't understand WHY. Just use birthcontrol..hell you already have kids you can't take care why why why.

thomas11

Yes, that was the reason I mentioned it. I recall you saying you were a heroin user and almost had your law degree. I find that impressive.

Was withdrawal difficult?

AdelineRose

Withdrawal is the worst thing I have ever gone through physically and mentally in my life. I was petrified to stop knowing how sick I would get so I found a doctor that specializes with addiction along with a psychiatrist and specializes in addiction and a substance abuse counselor and thanks to that amazing network of doctors I am able to taper off suboxone and get properly medicated for bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression.

Mountainmanbob

I don't think that being a snitch is a good thing for how can I judge when I have broken most all the rules but I must say two pregnant ladies possibly snitching on them might be a good thing Bob

AdelineRose

Bob I know that the second their babies are born withdrawing that they will be taken away just like their other children that are already in the system and placed within their families.

It has crossed my mind, God I used to feel like I was the only addict in North Carolina that didn't have a whole bunch of children but I am not sure what getting involved at this point would accomplish. It will most likely end up not going a positive way.. urgh

NoelleR

Have they never seen the movie 'Trainspotting?'

)o:

bunnezjp

This deserves the ultimate face-palm. I think you handled it well.

~Bunnez