Capitol J checking on you.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 37
Hey Butcher thanks for thinking of me. Unfortunately I fell off the wagon again pretty hard last night, with the usual chaos. I drank again today to ease the pain. I need to get my head together again. I am so ashamed and feel so weak. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to get back tho
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
Sorry to hear that bud. Few words of wisdom (basically doing the opposite of what I did for awhile before getting it half way right) 1- Do not just say screw it and keep drinking. You relapsed, that's not good but it happens. Don't beat yourself up get down on yourself cause that will lead to more drinking. 2- What triggered it and avoiding that trigger. 3- Find out what you think you could have done to stop yourself from having the first drink. You got this my friend! This is not an easy thing to beat. The very fact that your posting on here means you want to beat this and that's a good thing. Your going up against a substance that gets you hooked physically and mentally. One is a shorter miserable experience and the other is a emotional battle that still haunts me 2 1/2 years sober. Probably always will. I promise you once you get through detox the mental game of it gets easier everyday. The anxiety lessens. The depression lifts. Your thoughts will focus again. No more racing thoughts. Do not give up! Someday you will look back on this and realize you beat a problem allot of people don't. Got faith in you man!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
butcher do you have a plan? If you sit and wait for the next time you want to drink and leave it to chance that you'll abstain that's the hardest way to beat this. If you know ahead of time what your plan of action is it's a big help. A HUGE help.
I've learned you can't do this alone. It might take every ounce of willpower that you have to say no to yourself and come here but that's the only way that you truly start the process.
You CAN do this!!
I've learned you can't do this alone. It might take every ounce of willpower that you have to say no to yourself and come here but that's the only way that you truly start the process.
You CAN do this!!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
Ladyblue I have been sober for 2 1/2 years. My plan has been pretty simple yet at times hard. If I start having a craving which doesn't happen often I just need to remind myself how booze took everything I gave it. I also think ahead how it will be the next day. I will do work on my heavy bag or run if that's what if takes till I don't think of drinking anymore. I relapsed enough times before coming to s final stop that I know without any doubt I can't have one sip, ever. I am the official guy who had to get burned 30 or 40 times before I figured out not to touch the fire! I've done rehab twice, shrinks and did a tour of the Midwest's detox centers.... Lost (gave) my job, my fiancee, my house, my truck, savings and allot of my respect to alcohol. Booze gets not one more damn thing from me.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
No judgement here butcher, honestly. Been there. You had a plan in place and you didn't use it. Been there too. The only option is there is no option. Hard to accept but that coupled with putting your plan to use is the only way out.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
Think there is some confusion with what or how I posted. I don't relapse at all. Actually had to work 15 hours. I started the post cause Capital J sounds identical to me years ago. I was trying to give advise about relapse from my own personal experience about what worked for me. Didnt hear from him for awhile.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
For some reason I don't think all the posts are showing up on this thread which may have led to the confusion. That and I suck with technology! Any way a moderator could look at any of this pretty please?!?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It isn't you, it was me (and apparently LadyBlue) speed-reading and mixing up you and CapitalJ.
My bad.
I hope CapitalJ can put down the drink again.
butcher, congrats on your 2.5 years of continuous sobriety. Well done.
My bad.
I hope CapitalJ can put down the drink again.
butcher, congrats on your 2.5 years of continuous sobriety. Well done.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by butcher70 
Think there is some confusion with what or how I posted. I don't relapse at all. Actually had to work 15 hours. I started the post cause Capital J sounds identical to me years ago. I was trying to give advise about relapse from my own personal experience about what worked for me. Didnt hear from him for awhile.
CapitalJ, hope your ok!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
Glad to see you post and sorry things ain't looking up yet my friend. Got to a doctor and ask for help detox. Be honest about your amounts and frequency you drink, only saying be honest cause at first with my doc I lied. You can break this cycle! And that's what it is, a vicious damn cycle. It's not too late to stop before alcohol takes everything your willing to give it and it's a monster with a bottomless stomach. I gave it enough and it gets nothing more out of me. Not one more damn thing. You are the only one that can truly get yourself sober. Once the fog lifts you can start seeing allot more clearer. This takes time and patience and allot of will power that also takes time to gain it's own strength. Go to the doc or if it's bad enough the ER. Tell them where going on and they can make sure you detox not only safe but they can make it suck not as bad. They don't call it funtox for a reason. Look at a after care plan after that. If that don't work break it down to getting up. Arranging the medical stuff and going to it. Take it one mintue at a time and take small steps if you have to get to the sober goal. Do not listen to any little voice sayingyou don't need to go detox or some crazy scheme to taper off the booze. Yeah it has worked for some but a majority of the time it doesn't. Detox than aftercare. I'm not sure what booze has cost you so far. Even if you think your rock bottom it can and will get worse. It always somehow does. You got to put the bottle down. I'm not a a big praying guy but I am gonna say one for you. Dig deep. Fire up that drive inside you that has got you through other tough times and go kick this addictions ass. You can do this man!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I know what you're going through Capital J. I was there 2 weeks ago. I spent many Saturday mornings bouncing off the walls until the liquor store opened because I needed to avoid the comedown from the night before. That's how one night of drinking turns into a week long binge for me. Putting off the inevitable detox for as long as I could had serious repercussions for me. I usually would have to run out of money or have a health related issue to stop.
I'm on day 15 now. Feeling much better and going to AA meetings everyday. Take this weekend to sober up and get back on the wagon.
I'm on day 15 now. Feeling much better and going to AA meetings everyday. Take this weekend to sober up and get back on the wagon.
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