getright15

I know pretty much all of us we have so much regular stress in life. When you're an addict and trying to get sober it's really crazy how much of a trail you leave behind you. I don't want to focus on my negatives, but as I clean up everything that is all that APPEARS in front of me. Fines, more court dates, 2 jobs, this bracelet on my ankle, wife doesnt trust me. There are many good things that I want to overshadow those negatives. I did get my other job back for the time being which I desperately need to pay all these bills I've wracked up from drinking. I have my family still with me as my wife was about to leave and sign a lease elsewhere. I went to the psyc ward instead of jail. All of my arrests and court appearances like my wife pointed out no jail except when I was actually arrested. I don't think I have anymore fingers to count on concerning the chances I've had or have left.

Meet with my sponsor tomorrow night to begin our steps. I have to get deep in these steps or else I'll never be sober and I'll lose everything.

bluedog97

The steps are a great way to get some relief from wanting to drink. I'm working them now and it's helped. Of course staying sober is the only way to get out of the mess. Good luck

IvanMike

You're not going to be able to clean up all of the wreckage of your past in a week. We all want to when we first come in. I wanted instant recovery and instant redemption.

There's a good reason steps 8 and 9 are where they are. Likewise, we don't get to make all of our amends in a day. Some of them are ongoing.

I stopped using and instantly I wasn't creating the damage that I used to. The biggest amends you can make to those around you and yourself is to stay clean every day and participate in your recovery.

Over time I became increasingly aware of the other things I did which caused harm to myself and others. I received help in changing how i lived. Slowly I've cleaned up the wreckage of my past, and still work on it every day. It doesn't happen overnight.

In my experience the steps are the key. I wanted to rush through them and "be done", but I found that they are not to be trifled with.

The steps aren't a way to get some respite from the desire to use. By applying them, we change who we are and how we navigate life to the point where we don't want to use. Using would rob me of the person that I've become.

ScottFromWI

Keep working on your recovery like your life depends on it, because it literally does.

All the wreckage and pain you've caused is 100 percent a result of you drinking alcohol. Some of it might never be "fixable" but staying sober can possibly earn you the trust and respect of those around you once again.

But make no mistake....staying sober is the ONLY way out.

fantail

So the thing about where you are right now, and I was there too, is that you're fresh enough out that your positives are still kind of negatives. "I lost X, but I could have lost Y" kind of stuff. Which is very legit! Being grateful for those things is so important. But I know for me I didn't start really feeling better about my mess until a few months into sobriety when I started having stuff that was just 100% positive. New things that I'd started in sobriety that I couldn't have done drinking. Those things I can really celebrate without feeling like it's just making up for lost ground. With time you'll start to dig yourself out of the hole and build new things too, and it'll feel a lot better than it does right now.

Berrybean

The steps, worked thoroughly, do bring relief. Not instantly, but definitely some relief which grown gradually.

I would suggest keeping a copy of the promises in your wallet. Having this ready reminder really helped me . The other prayer that really helps me is the Do It Anyway one. Because we can work on changing ourselves, but others are beyond our control. Not all the people we have hurt are going to be capable of forgiveness and trust for some time. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't do the right thing. The person we most have to live with is ourselves after all.

God, help me to accept that people may be unreasonable and self-centred. Let me forgive them anyway.
Help me to accept that if I’m kind, people may accuse me of ulterior motives. Let me be kind anyway.
Help me to accept that if I find happiness, people may be jealous. Let me be happy anyway.
Help me to accept that the good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Let me do good anyway.
Help me to accept that I may give the world my best, and it may never be good enough. Let me give my best anyway.
God, help me to remember that it is between you and me. It was never between me and them anyway.

I hope all goes well in your meeting with your sponsor.

Mountainmanbob

Doing the Steps is important.

We recovery from the wreckage of our past.

Mountainman

least

It might take a while to clean them all up. Just take it one thing at a time. Stay sober and work on yourself. Pretty soon, this will all be behind you.

getright15

I met with my sponsor tonight to do some reading and we were chatting in between certain pages in the big book. He asks me the question..."How do you eat an elephant" The answer is 1 bite at a time. Cheesy but made me laugh. Very true though.