Do I want to stay sober???????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: United kingdom
Posts: 360
Do I want to stay sober???????
I am grateful to this site for all you lovely people who have given me support. I'm over 10 weeks sober now and thoughts of moderation come to me a few times a week. Trouble is I've never met anyone who who is able to moderate.
So here's some good and bad-
Being sober has dramatically reduced my blood pressure and I have lost weight.
I am proving to the self loathing part of my mind that I can actually achieve something. I am gaining some self respect as well. BUT
I m still unhappy, saw GP today about my abysmal memory and she just did those stupid easy to pass dementia test and said I'm ok. Did get referred again for some CBT which may be useful.
Trouble is I know I'm not ready to drink again- I would drink drive, my mental and physical health would be even worse, I know it won't be one, two or even 3 pints.
I'm just ranting, I have had severe mental health concerns for many many years. I'm still getting into thousands of debt buying things I don't kneed, still unhappy in a long term unloving marriage, I'm a bit wobbled as well as I've started to think about trying to contact my birth mother (adopted) and have e-mailed a few places.
Think I'm a bit lost as to what direction I'm headed in lots of ways- GP had just signed me off for another 3 months but I really do need to get back to work. I've had well paid stressful jobs in the past- head says do these again but my heart knows they may be a step to far.
Anyway thanks for reading and time for my bed
So here's some good and bad-
Being sober has dramatically reduced my blood pressure and I have lost weight.
I am proving to the self loathing part of my mind that I can actually achieve something. I am gaining some self respect as well. BUT
I m still unhappy, saw GP today about my abysmal memory and she just did those stupid easy to pass dementia test and said I'm ok. Did get referred again for some CBT which may be useful.
Trouble is I know I'm not ready to drink again- I would drink drive, my mental and physical health would be even worse, I know it won't be one, two or even 3 pints.
I'm just ranting, I have had severe mental health concerns for many many years. I'm still getting into thousands of debt buying things I don't kneed, still unhappy in a long term unloving marriage, I'm a bit wobbled as well as I've started to think about trying to contact my birth mother (adopted) and have e-mailed a few places.
Think I'm a bit lost as to what direction I'm headed in lots of ways- GP had just signed me off for another 3 months but I really do need to get back to work. I've had well paid stressful jobs in the past- head says do these again but my heart knows they may be a step to far.
Anyway thanks for reading and time for my bed
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I thin k a lot of us think that we'll get sober and instantly be happy.
Many of us found that's not the case.
For me getting sober was the first part of the journey - the next part was doing something about the parts of my life I didn't like and my unhappiness.
Sobriety helps ion that I have a constancy to work from.
I could never improve my life when I was drinking.
If you have mental health issues now's a great time to try and manage those too
The only thing drinking is going to get you is this...or worse
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...egistered.html
Many of us found that's not the case.
For me getting sober was the first part of the journey - the next part was doing something about the parts of my life I didn't like and my unhappiness.
Sobriety helps ion that I have a constancy to work from.
I could never improve my life when I was drinking.
If you have mental health issues now's a great time to try and manage those too
The only thing drinking is going to get you is this...or worse
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...egistered.html
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
You quit drinking and you tend to think that life will automatically come up roses. Then you still constantly keep getting beaten down with the drama and obstacles that life brings all of us inevitably. Then you long for the relief or escape that you think you used to get from intoxication. I get this.
I have had some extremely depressing, stressful situations come up recently and the thought of how nice it would be to have a drink has popped into my head for the first time in along time. Then I forced myself to play out in my head the consequences of what would happen if I took actions on those thought. Past experience tells me that that short relief would have disastrous long term ramifications. A temporary bad situation would turn in to a long term mess.
Life can be tough but the problems are much easier to rectify with a clear head. I am so thankful for my sobriety at this point in my life. The alternative would not be a pleasant situation.
I do think the CBT can be very helpful. Its a very common sense approach and I use aspects of it alot to get me through the stressful, anxious times in my life.
Take Care
I have had some extremely depressing, stressful situations come up recently and the thought of how nice it would be to have a drink has popped into my head for the first time in along time. Then I forced myself to play out in my head the consequences of what would happen if I took actions on those thought. Past experience tells me that that short relief would have disastrous long term ramifications. A temporary bad situation would turn in to a long term mess.
Life can be tough but the problems are much easier to rectify with a clear head. I am so thankful for my sobriety at this point in my life. The alternative would not be a pleasant situation.
I do think the CBT can be very helpful. Its a very common sense approach and I use aspects of it alot to get me through the stressful, anxious times in my life.
Take Care
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
When I got sober I knew it was going to be tough I was going to have to face myself on bad days & tell myself it's early sobriety it's going to be ok & it was esp compared to how I was basically drinking myself to death
Early sobriety is known as a emotional roller coaster for all the twists & turns that are within that time
I used to think of early sobriety like a small boat in the rough seas of my alcoholism i knew some days are going to be choppy waters & that some days everything will go wrong
But with that I told myself it's not always going to be like this & that I'm making myself better & I know it's going to take time
Things will get better stay optimistic & keep getting through the days
your awesome
Early sobriety is known as a emotional roller coaster for all the twists & turns that are within that time
I used to think of early sobriety like a small boat in the rough seas of my alcoholism i knew some days are going to be choppy waters & that some days everything will go wrong
But with that I told myself it's not always going to be like this & that I'm making myself better & I know it's going to take time
Things will get better stay optimistic & keep getting through the days
your awesome
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Unfortunately just because we get sober life isn't going to get wonderful. I hear around meetings "Alcohol wasn't my problem, it was my SOLUTION." The 12 steps of AA give me the tools for living that I need to live a healthy life. You can do it too!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Hi there
Great responses to your post. I second them.
It's a long road to recovery for me too but I'm so grateful that I'm on it.
I had an absolute crap month that is ongoing but it would have been amplified and poorly handled had I been drinking. Life is alternately terrible and wonderful but I gave to remember that drinking worsened that reality.
I think that you do want to be sober.
Hang in there
Jonathan
Great responses to your post. I second them.
It's a long road to recovery for me too but I'm so grateful that I'm on it.
I had an absolute crap month that is ongoing but it would have been amplified and poorly handled had I been drinking. Life is alternately terrible and wonderful but I gave to remember that drinking worsened that reality.
I think that you do want to be sober.
Hang in there
Jonathan
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 151
Originally Posted by Jtmlk 
I am grateful to this site for all you lovely people who have given me support. I'm over 10 weeks sober now and thoughts of moderation come to me a few times a week. Trouble is I've never met anyone who who is able to moderate.
So here's some good and bad-
Being sober has dramatically reduced my blood pressure and I have lost weight.
I am proving to the self loathing part of my mind that I can actually achieve something. I am gaining some self respect as well. BUT
I m still unhappy, saw GP today about my abysmal memory and she just did those stupid easy to pass dementia test and said I'm ok. Did get referred again for some CBT which may be useful.
Trouble is I know I'm not ready to drink again- I would drink drive, my mental and physical health would be even worse, I know it won't be one, two or even 3 pints.
I'm just ranting, I have had severe mental health concerns for many many years. I'm still getting into thousands of debt buying things I don't kneed, still unhappy in a long term unloving marriage, I'm a bit wobbled as well as I've started to think about trying to contact my birth mother (adopted) and have e-mailed a few places.
Think I'm a bit lost as to what direction I'm headed in lots of ways- GP had just signed me off for another 3 months but I really do need to get back to work. I've had well paid stressful jobs in the past- head says do these again but my heart knows they may be a step to far.
Anyway thanks for reading and time for my bed
So here's some good and bad-
Being sober has dramatically reduced my blood pressure and I have lost weight.
I am proving to the self loathing part of my mind that I can actually achieve something. I am gaining some self respect as well. BUT
I m still unhappy, saw GP today about my abysmal memory and she just did those stupid easy to pass dementia test and said I'm ok. Did get referred again for some CBT which may be useful.
Trouble is I know I'm not ready to drink again- I would drink drive, my mental and physical health would be even worse, I know it won't be one, two or even 3 pints.
I'm just ranting, I have had severe mental health concerns for many many years. I'm still getting into thousands of debt buying things I don't kneed, still unhappy in a long term unloving marriage, I'm a bit wobbled as well as I've started to think about trying to contact my birth mother (adopted) and have e-mailed a few places.
Think I'm a bit lost as to what direction I'm headed in lots of ways- GP had just signed me off for another 3 months but I really do need to get back to work. I've had well paid stressful jobs in the past- head says do these again but my heart knows they may be a step to far.
Anyway thanks for reading and time for my bed
best of luck with everything. the only advice I'd personally give is, try to realize "to drink or not to drink?" is a decision you have to make. all of the problems can't pour the drink down your throat, though your mind will try to use them as Excuses/reasons to drink.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hi There,
After a little time being sober gets under our belts the situations that brought us here seem to fade. Even just a little bit of that fade starts the mind questioning if it was really as bad as we thought. All of it is that pesky AV sneaking up behind you. Your head will do anything it can to convince you that the reason you quit wasn't as quite as bad as you made it out to be. It's the nature of this addiction and that's what makes it so scary. It's why I left here in October of 2014 only to return this month.
One thing that's always been helpful to me is to go back and read prior posts that I entered. It was a blaring reminder to myself as to exactly why I was here.
If you don't know how to do this click on your name above your avatar in the upper left hand corner in one of your posts and there should be a drop down box that gives you options. You can find both posts that you started and posts that you entered. When you select one of those options it will bring them up. If you then scroll to the bottom you'll see how many pages there are and if you select "last" it should bring you to the earliest posts you entered.
I don't think it's healthy to do that a lot, focus should be in the moment and on moving forward. However, I do find that sometimes I need a gentle reminder of exactly why I'm here.
After a little time being sober gets under our belts the situations that brought us here seem to fade. Even just a little bit of that fade starts the mind questioning if it was really as bad as we thought. All of it is that pesky AV sneaking up behind you. Your head will do anything it can to convince you that the reason you quit wasn't as quite as bad as you made it out to be. It's the nature of this addiction and that's what makes it so scary. It's why I left here in October of 2014 only to return this month.
One thing that's always been helpful to me is to go back and read prior posts that I entered. It was a blaring reminder to myself as to exactly why I was here.
If you don't know how to do this click on your name above your avatar in the upper left hand corner in one of your posts and there should be a drop down box that gives you options. You can find both posts that you started and posts that you entered. When you select one of those options it will bring them up. If you then scroll to the bottom you'll see how many pages there are and if you select "last" it should bring you to the earliest posts you entered.
I don't think it's healthy to do that a lot, focus should be in the moment and on moving forward. However, I do find that sometimes I need a gentle reminder of exactly why I'm here.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Being a drunk was like living in a fantasy world.
I was a...party animal. Work hard, play hard. That was my rationalization.
At work, if things didn't go my way, I would feel so hurt. I would be short tempered w my boss and peers. I am lucky my boss didn't fire me years ago. I would come home almost every night and drink the anger away. I was having a party. Really, I was just an addict.
Of course my anger was only quelled. The next day, there it would be again, in full bloom, and now I was hungover. Lather, rinse, repeat. That was a huge part of my life for the last 30 plus years. I was fat and had high blood pressure
The elephant in the room at work was/is....I have a reputation for being short tempered. It probably is not all booze related, but booze made it worse.
Now clean for a bit I see that I took myself way to seriously. I do my job now, knowing that i am a sober man in recovery. Nobody really seems to know, if they know they don't care. It is fine. Work still sucks a bit, but I deal w it so much better now. Way less obsessing.
I lost 30 plus pounds and lowered my bp because I changed my life style to quit boozing. My reputation at work is not going to change overnight. It may never change. I have to except that.
I am not trying to suddenly become the superstar. No big changes. I make good money and don't want to leave for a while. So I try to do my job, and get out of work each day unscathed. It is not fun, but it pays the bills.
I now except my position in the company and try to pay attention to the balance of what I need to do for them and what I need to do for me. I know that from my bosses perspective I need to sacrifice myself in a somewhat obvious way when pressed. It sucks, but, it sucks a lot less.......because I am sober.
It is the only way to go.
We humans are not designed to be drunk. We are designed to be sober. We do life more correctly sober.
So, back to the original question....the short answer for me is...yes...I want to stay sober.
Alcohol is poison. Thanks for the therapy.
I was a...party animal. Work hard, play hard. That was my rationalization.
At work, if things didn't go my way, I would feel so hurt. I would be short tempered w my boss and peers. I am lucky my boss didn't fire me years ago. I would come home almost every night and drink the anger away. I was having a party. Really, I was just an addict.
Of course my anger was only quelled. The next day, there it would be again, in full bloom, and now I was hungover. Lather, rinse, repeat. That was a huge part of my life for the last 30 plus years. I was fat and had high blood pressure
The elephant in the room at work was/is....I have a reputation for being short tempered. It probably is not all booze related, but booze made it worse.
Now clean for a bit I see that I took myself way to seriously. I do my job now, knowing that i am a sober man in recovery. Nobody really seems to know, if they know they don't care. It is fine. Work still sucks a bit, but I deal w it so much better now. Way less obsessing.
I lost 30 plus pounds and lowered my bp because I changed my life style to quit boozing. My reputation at work is not going to change overnight. It may never change. I have to except that.
I am not trying to suddenly become the superstar. No big changes. I make good money and don't want to leave for a while. So I try to do my job, and get out of work each day unscathed. It is not fun, but it pays the bills.
I now except my position in the company and try to pay attention to the balance of what I need to do for them and what I need to do for me. I know that from my bosses perspective I need to sacrifice myself in a somewhat obvious way when pressed. It sucks, but, it sucks a lot less.......because I am sober.
It is the only way to go.
We humans are not designed to be drunk. We are designed to be sober. We do life more correctly sober.
So, back to the original question....the short answer for me is...yes...I want to stay sober.
Alcohol is poison. Thanks for the therapy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
This may sound weird, but in a way, I was scared to stop drinking. What if things continued to go bad to worse?
And I had alcohol to blame for everything that was going wrong in my life, a way to not take responsibility.
That's changed now. I guess over time, i've realized that life will have it's ups and downs, and i'm just going to have to go through them all sober. Which is fine.
I'm at 3 weeks, and feel so much better physically. My last binge was terrible, and I felt sick for so many days after. A hang over that never ends. I'm enjoying how I feel so much better at the moment. Healthier. Stronger. Awake. I can enjoy food.
I want to stay sober.
And I had alcohol to blame for everything that was going wrong in my life, a way to not take responsibility.
That's changed now. I guess over time, i've realized that life will have it's ups and downs, and i'm just going to have to go through them all sober. Which is fine.
I'm at 3 weeks, and feel so much better physically. My last binge was terrible, and I felt sick for so many days after. A hang over that never ends. I'm enjoying how I feel so much better at the moment. Healthier. Stronger. Awake. I can enjoy food.
I want to stay sober.
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