Kp1130

Hey family,
So my AH did not leave on his deadline. I tried to get him out and he just refused. So now I guess I have to go through legal channels to get him out of here. The problem is I am already living paycheck to paycheck. I had to cut my hours at work for childcare purposes. I have received 3 shut off notices already this month and I'm trying to plan a birthday party for my son. All of his money goes to drugs of course and he still tries to claim he's clean.

I feel so lost and just hopeless. I'm trying so hard to keep it all together but I feel like I'm losing it. I'm trying to just work on me and do what needs to be done to get some peace in my life but how can I with him living here, high, and pulling me into his madness? He has his charm on too which makes it even harder.

Yesterday I cried all day. I'm not sure how I got to be weak like this, I have never been weak. I just feel so defeated. I will overcome this for my children. If it weren't for them I think I would have given up already.

So now I'm working on picking up extra shifts when I can and I plan on evicting him when possible. It is going to take longer but I can do this, I hope. If anyone has any advice or anything, I would love to hear it.
Thanks for letting me vent

AnvilheadII

i am NOT an attorney, but i think you are options are somewhat limited regarding "evicting" your spouse, unless you have either a)Filed for Divorce and request Sole Possession of the home or b) as part of an Order of Protection due to Domestic Violence.

gawd, i wish they'd just GO - he's being such a complete douche. and it makes it so much more difficult for you.

make sure to check into any and all local resources. take care.

Ann

Kp, you may want to call a women's crisis center too, they may have suggestions that will help you right now. You don't have to be in crisis to have the support of most places. They know who may give you free legal advice or they may be able to help you figure this out.

If you have family support, perhaps someone in your family can help you through this too.

I pray you find a better life for yourself and your child. You may have to cut your losses and just move on.

Hugs

Mountainmanbob

It is sad to hear of these stories.
May God give you strength as you care for yourself and your children.

It takes two, each and every day working together with love
to make for a healthy marriage.

No matter what -- please remember -- you deserve to be loved.

MB




4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Kp1130

Thank you all for the kind words! It is so hard because when he's clean, he's a great husband and father. This relapse is his worst yet and I just feel like he'll never let it go.

Thank you Ann, I will have to look into he local woman crisis centers in my area. I have done some research and I have legal standing to evict him. I just have file several motions to make it happen.

As far as family support goes, only my mother and his parents know what's going on. His parents know nothing about drugs and addiction and don't understand how bad it is. Either that or they are in denial? I'm not sure. My mom doesn't know how bad it is because I haven't told her. Addiction runs rampant in my family so I don't want to worry her. I think it would break her heart to know it all.

My AH is in denial. He keeps saying he wants to step up and wants to change. I do believe in his heart he wants to be that man but he can never be that man with H in his life. I can tell him that til I'm blue in face and it wouldn't matter.

I just wish he would make it easy n just go. I told him today that if this house wasn't mine and everything in it, I would be gone. He just changes the subject. 😔

zoso77

I know this is a difficult time for you, Kp. You certainly don't deserve any of this. But I think this is an opportunity to take command of your own destiny and your own well being. It's not going to be easy. But it's times like these that we find out what we're made of. The fact that you've joined us and have reached out for support tells me you're open to the idea of change. So you can get through this. As long as you follow your own moral compass, you'll be OK. So just do what you have to do.