Mudruck

Few month in to sobriety I fell into a funk/depression, hated life, hated AA meetings. The obsession to drink started to grow. My progress in recovery stalled then reversed.
I managed to stay strong and not drink. Even kept going to meetings, even though left angry a lot. I was angry at the people that had what I wanted. I was angry at myself for not doing what needed to be done.
I was trapped. I didn't want to live my drunk life again,but didn't like the sober one.
Home life suffered, I had constant headaches. The obsession was doing its best to drive me back to the bottle. I had fleeting moments of just quitting the whole life game.
Then I started praying again, started my steps again and then the obsession lifted, the despair lifted.
This spell lasted about 6 weeks. 6 miserable weeks.

If not for AA and people on this site I would never have kept my sobriety through it.
My higher power also needs to be thanked. I am still working on this side of my life/recovery.

Dee74

I'm really glad you came through that mudruck - awesome stuff

D

Berrybean

Glad you're back out of the vortex.

N3p3nth3

I needed to read this right now. Maybe I'm at a "sober bottom." I'm coming up on 11 months alcohol free, which has been a great journey. Thanks to some new community and life changes, it hasn't been so hard as I might have thought. But just over the last few days I have suddenly started to feel totally off. Loneliness, worry, self-pity, disappointment.. all those old emotions that had me drinking before. Today, for the first time in 11 months I had to really convince myself not to just say eff it. I'm managing, but it's good to be reminded that these moments do pass.

Berrybean

I don't think the OP said they just passed. I read it that he took action and worked on his recovery, and then felt some relief.

Not saying that hope isn't there, but it will also require action.

Soberwolf

Congrats

LadyBlue0527

Thank you for posting. There are rough patches here and there but they can be overcome. So happy you stuck to it and are where you are today. A good reminder to just keep on with the work!

ICanDoBetter

Thank you for posting this. I feel I'm in that rut around 100 days in and it was very helpful to read this.

entropy1964

Great job and so glad you are feeling better.

Fly N Buy

First things first........good for you!

FLCamper

Thanks for sharing this. Sometimes you have to ride it out - looks like you took action and did well. Nice going.

advbike

Thanks for that post, and great job! I hit my sober bottom after TWO YEARS. I had never really worked a program of recovery and my ego was just going crazy complaining and making life miserable. I had to get back into meetings, find a sponsor, and start working the steps in order to find peace of mind.

FreeOwl

I've traveled some similar ground....

I found that I needed more than going to meetings. Meetings were a great tool. The Big Book was a great tool. These were sort of a bedrock; a foundation that kept me conscious of the facts that;

a) I was not alone
b) It can definitely get better
c) It will absolutely get worse (if I choose to keep going with addiction)
d) There are people who truly want me to succeed in sobriety

But, meetings didn't address my emotions. Meetings are not therapy. Meetings are not lifestyle changes that focus on the positive aspects of my life that I want to amplify and expand. Meetings do not make the choice for me. Meetings are not daily gratitude practice. Meetings are not deciding to let go of friendships that don't fit with sobriety. Meetings are not going running, to the gym, yoga, meditation.

I found that sobriety meant a restless reinvention of myself.... and it's a process that deepens and expands. I'm grateful for AA's tools and meetings - as well as for this place. But without my continued ACTIONS and ever-choosing LIFE to grow and evolve, I'd still be stuck in a bottle.