Trying to feel better
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Trying to feel better
When I last wrote to you guys I admitted that I wasn't really feeling all too good. Today I can say I am doing a little better, or at least am trying to make myself feel that way. I still have a lot of worries about what is ahead, I still find myself in tears a lot, and I still feel rather angry at myself.
My worries and fears?
-Finding a job.
-Will my license be suspended for a year or not? Here its typically 1 month/5 month restricted, but I refused a test...that can be a year.
-Finding a job with limited transportation, public transit here is no good.
-Having a record.
-Losing everything.
I do what I can to not stay focused on those fears, rather trying to hope and have faith that I will get through this and that things will become (even better than they were before my DUI arrest).
All I want to do is get my life back on track. I want this court deal to be over with, I want to be able to move on with things. It bothers me, but I sincerely try to not let it get to me. I stay focused on my school studies and working out as much as I can.
I am grateful for my family, they have been helping me a lot--even though I am such a screw up. My parents have been helping me get groceries when I need to, or taking me around when there are things I need to get or take care of. I feel so bad doing this, but they tell me this is what people do for each other when they love them. It brings me to tears when they tell me that, because I am used to being independent and working every day to try to get to a point where I can help them. That's all I ever wanted to do, and now I don't know how I will get there.
It sucks that one mistaken driven by depression (and alcohol) can lead to me now being labeled a criminal. I don't know how I am going to get past this, but I know I have to somehow. I pray everyday for strength and favor, Lord knows I need it. I just hope that court goes favorably, that the judge sees everything that I am doing to make this right. I hope that some how some way the refusal enhancement can be dropped, because the public defender said she could initially...and then later said she wasn't so sure. Things were fine up until she told me that, and now I feel devastated. I can live with this record for the next year, I can live with the alcohol classes, the couple of days I may have to spend in jail or work release, and everything else...but I can't live with not being able to support myself, not being able to drive for another 10 1/2 months, and the driving isnt out of selfish reasons..its out of necessity. I have now placed 90 applications and resume submissions in my area...nothing. Much of the jobs that have been interested in me are 20+ miles away, there is no transit there, there is no way for me to simply relocate, I am stuck.
I am committed to making my life right, but I still am in a lot of fear. I hope you all understand that I am not a bad person, nor am I a selfish person...I made a bad mistake and I know there are consequences and I am trying to deal with them, but sometimes it all becomes too much.
My worries and fears?
-Finding a job.
-Will my license be suspended for a year or not? Here its typically 1 month/5 month restricted, but I refused a test...that can be a year.
-Finding a job with limited transportation, public transit here is no good.
-Having a record.
-Losing everything.
I do what I can to not stay focused on those fears, rather trying to hope and have faith that I will get through this and that things will become (even better than they were before my DUI arrest).
All I want to do is get my life back on track. I want this court deal to be over with, I want to be able to move on with things. It bothers me, but I sincerely try to not let it get to me. I stay focused on my school studies and working out as much as I can.
I am grateful for my family, they have been helping me a lot--even though I am such a screw up. My parents have been helping me get groceries when I need to, or taking me around when there are things I need to get or take care of. I feel so bad doing this, but they tell me this is what people do for each other when they love them. It brings me to tears when they tell me that, because I am used to being independent and working every day to try to get to a point where I can help them. That's all I ever wanted to do, and now I don't know how I will get there.
It sucks that one mistaken driven by depression (and alcohol) can lead to me now being labeled a criminal. I don't know how I am going to get past this, but I know I have to somehow. I pray everyday for strength and favor, Lord knows I need it. I just hope that court goes favorably, that the judge sees everything that I am doing to make this right. I hope that some how some way the refusal enhancement can be dropped, because the public defender said she could initially...and then later said she wasn't so sure. Things were fine up until she told me that, and now I feel devastated. I can live with this record for the next year, I can live with the alcohol classes, the couple of days I may have to spend in jail or work release, and everything else...but I can't live with not being able to support myself, not being able to drive for another 10 1/2 months, and the driving isnt out of selfish reasons..its out of necessity. I have now placed 90 applications and resume submissions in my area...nothing. Much of the jobs that have been interested in me are 20+ miles away, there is no transit there, there is no way for me to simply relocate, I am stuck.
I am committed to making my life right, but I still am in a lot of fear. I hope you all understand that I am not a bad person, nor am I a selfish person...I made a bad mistake and I know there are consequences and I am trying to deal with them, but sometimes it all becomes too much.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
#1 rule.....stay sober no matter what.
since you won't know the results of the court stuff until you are on the other side, try not to fret over all the possible negative outcomes. there's a saying about not borrowing trouble from the future, or something like that.
you mentioned that the potential jobs are about 20 miles away.....is moving a possibility? an option? have you thought about other ways you could use your skills in the work setting? perhaps thinking in terms of what you CAN do rather than what you cannot may bring some new insights.
since you won't know the results of the court stuff until you are on the other side, try not to fret over all the possible negative outcomes. there's a saying about not borrowing trouble from the future, or something like that.
you mentioned that the potential jobs are about 20 miles away.....is moving a possibility? an option? have you thought about other ways you could use your skills in the work setting? perhaps thinking in terms of what you CAN do rather than what you cannot may bring some new insights.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
No one here thinks you are a bad person and we've all made mistakes. And even if someone did you have no control over their thoughts so it's not relevant anyway.
You have really been obsessing over this same issue for a long time now, I would imagine it's quite exhausting. As anvil suggests, try and concentrate on what you CAN do today. All you can control is now and what you do now. I suggested before that perhaps doing some reading on mindfulness might help, I would second that suggestion.
You have really been obsessing over this same issue for a long time now, I would imagine it's quite exhausting. As anvil suggests, try and concentrate on what you CAN do today. All you can control is now and what you do now. I suggested before that perhaps doing some reading on mindfulness might help, I would second that suggestion.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
No one here thinks you are a bad person and we've all made mistakes. And even if someone did you have no control over their thoughts so it's not relevant anyway.
You have really been obsessing over this same issue for a long time now, I would imagine it's quite exhausting. As anvil suggests, try and concentrate on what you CAN do today. All you can control is now and what you do now. I suggested before that perhaps doing some reading on mindfulness might help, I would second that suggestion.
You have really been obsessing over this same issue for a long time now, I would imagine it's quite exhausting. As anvil suggests, try and concentrate on what you CAN do today. All you can control is now and what you do now. I suggested before that perhaps doing some reading on mindfulness might help, I would second that suggestion.
I focus on school, working out, bike riding, cleaning up the beach, trying to find a job in my area...that all only takes up so much time. The rest of the day there's nothing else I can do. That's what gets so discouraging...I cant do anything about it and it's the one problem that regardless what I do to try to distract myself from it it always stays there. Maybe I'm just a mental case.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 399
SA,
I don't think you're a mental case. It's perfectly natural to be somewhat preoccupied with your upcoming court proceeding. I do think the constant obsession has led it to be much bigger in your mind than it really is.
For instance, in your original post you mentioned one of your fears is: losing everything. I'm not sure how you define it but the likelihood of that occurring from a single misdemeanor is almost nil.
Also, I know very few people (if any) that would label someone a criminal based on your minor indiscretion. That's a label you are putting on yourself. I know you don't trust psychologists, but anxiety seems to be causing you a lot of problems - not just the event that occurred.
It does seem like you are doing better and I'm glad for that.
I don't think you're a mental case. It's perfectly natural to be somewhat preoccupied with your upcoming court proceeding. I do think the constant obsession has led it to be much bigger in your mind than it really is.
For instance, in your original post you mentioned one of your fears is: losing everything. I'm not sure how you define it but the likelihood of that occurring from a single misdemeanor is almost nil.
Also, I know very few people (if any) that would label someone a criminal based on your minor indiscretion. That's a label you are putting on yourself. I know you don't trust psychologists, but anxiety seems to be causing you a lot of problems - not just the event that occurred.
It does seem like you are doing better and I'm glad for that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 545
Hang in there for 4 more days. You will have your court date and the uncertainty that is causing your anxiety now will be relieved when the Judge makes his decision. Then you will know exactly what you need to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
For what its worth SA, I only wish I had as pure of a soul as you do. I've followed your threads a bit, and you sound very remorseful and worried. I'm pretty convinced it won't happen again. And regarding your career, you are so focused on it, I think any employer would be damn lucky to have someone as committed as you. Hang in there Frank. big world out there, you'll be fine.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
Yes, number one...do not drink! Also, my son refused to take the test. The law in IN says one year automatically but the lawyer got it down to 6 months. Hopefully that can happen in CA as well. Put your best foot forward and show the judge you are taking it all very seriously. Good luck!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
So Frank, I also am in accounting and currently have almost the same exact laundry list of upcoming events as you do. And they say us accounting people are boring eh? Sorry, I totally understand that this is no time to joke but I'm hoping that pulled even a small bit of a smile out of you and if it did the attempt was worth it.
My hideous event occurred last Sunday. In 4 days I lost 10 lbs. I had no interest in food and couldn't sleep. Anxiety attacks right and left. What does the future hold and will there be any mercy for me? At the end of the day I don't have the answer to that question but I found comfort in this.
I attended an AA meeting on Thursday that I hadn't been to in over 2 years and saw a person I pretty much had contact with every week when I was working the program. After the meeting we talked for a little bit and I spit out my entire laundry list and told him about the event and how I was feeling and he asked me a question.
"What on that list can you do anything about today?"
The answer was simple. Nothing. No matter how much I'd like to wish the whole thing away I can't. What is going to be is going to be. I am prepared to deal with whatever hand I am dealt and to learn from it. I may not like it but I can't change it.
You are a good person who made a bad choice. Focus on learning from that and working on correcting what put you there in the first place. Anything other than that is just going to drive you crazy. This will all pass as much as it's hard to see right now.
In finality, you are not alone. I'm here and I understand. We both made bad choices and now we get to deal. We will deal and we will get through it.
Cut yourself some slack. We aren't the first to go through this, we won't be the last, and no one died. Those are all plusses in my book.
The best thing of all? We are here at SR. We're doing the right thing! Breathe, it's going to be a crap show for a bit but we will survive it!
My hideous event occurred last Sunday. In 4 days I lost 10 lbs. I had no interest in food and couldn't sleep. Anxiety attacks right and left. What does the future hold and will there be any mercy for me? At the end of the day I don't have the answer to that question but I found comfort in this.
I attended an AA meeting on Thursday that I hadn't been to in over 2 years and saw a person I pretty much had contact with every week when I was working the program. After the meeting we talked for a little bit and I spit out my entire laundry list and told him about the event and how I was feeling and he asked me a question.
"What on that list can you do anything about today?"
The answer was simple. Nothing. No matter how much I'd like to wish the whole thing away I can't. What is going to be is going to be. I am prepared to deal with whatever hand I am dealt and to learn from it. I may not like it but I can't change it.
You are a good person who made a bad choice. Focus on learning from that and working on correcting what put you there in the first place. Anything other than that is just going to drive you crazy. This will all pass as much as it's hard to see right now.
In finality, you are not alone. I'm here and I understand. We both made bad choices and now we get to deal. We will deal and we will get through it.
Cut yourself some slack. We aren't the first to go through this, we won't be the last, and no one died. Those are all plusses in my book.
The best thing of all? We are here at SR. We're doing the right thing! Breathe, it's going to be a crap show for a bit but we will survive it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Frank,
I think LadyBlue's advice is spot on. I am a worrier too, and I often need to stop and ask myself what can I control? If it is something that is out of my control I just need to wait.
Can you add something else into your day? Exercise, reading, home repair... Anything to take your mind off of your upcoming court date.
I think LadyBlue's advice is spot on. I am a worrier too, and I often need to stop and ask myself what can I control? If it is something that is out of my control I just need to wait.
Can you add something else into your day? Exercise, reading, home repair... Anything to take your mind off of your upcoming court date.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Frank, I am so glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better. And, I hope this week brings some peace to you. Sometimes it's hard to accept things that family members are doing to help us, but, this is a learning experience for you. You have no choice now but to accept the love and help of your family. And, how lucky are you to have that!
Keep posting and keep trying to do positive things each day to help yourself. I really hope that you get some good news this week.
Keep posting and keep trying to do positive things each day to help yourself. I really hope that you get some good news this week.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by buk1000
SA,
I don't think you're a mental case. It's perfectly natural to be somewhat preoccupied with your upcoming court proceeding. I do think the constant obsession has led it to be much bigger in your mind than it really is.
For instance, in your original post you mentioned one of your fears is: losing everything. I'm not sure how you define it but the likelihood of that occurring from a single misdemeanor is almost nil.
Also, I know very few people (if any) that would label someone a criminal based on your minor indiscretion. That's a label you are putting on yourself. I know you don't trust psychologists, but anxiety seems to be causing you a lot of problems - not just the event that occurred.
It does seem like you are doing better and I'm glad for that.
I don't think you're a mental case. It's perfectly natural to be somewhat preoccupied with your upcoming court proceeding. I do think the constant obsession has led it to be much bigger in your mind than it really is.
For instance, in your original post you mentioned one of your fears is: losing everything. I'm not sure how you define it but the likelihood of that occurring from a single misdemeanor is almost nil.
Also, I know very few people (if any) that would label someone a criminal based on your minor indiscretion. That's a label you are putting on yourself. I know you don't trust psychologists, but anxiety seems to be causing you a lot of problems - not just the event that occurred.
It does seem like you are doing better and I'm glad for that.
I hope you're right though, I try to convince myself everyday that things are going to be okay. My mind just likes to wander and ask myself what if's that I just don't know how to answer. When I don't know the answer or a solution I tend to panic. Before I felt like I had a lot of control over my life, now I am at the mercy of the courts and everyone else because of my stupidity. I hope to get through this, I hope I can one day forgive myself--I am just not quite there yet.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by thomas11
For what its worth SA, I only wish I had as pure of a soul as you do. I've followed your threads a bit, and you sound very remorseful and worried. I'm pretty convinced it won't happen again. And regarding your career, you are so focused on it, I think any employer would be damn lucky to have someone as committed as you. Hang in there Frank. big world out there, you'll be fine.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
So Frank, I also am in accounting and currently have almost the same exact laundry list of upcoming events as you do. And they say us accounting people are boring eh? Sorry, I totally understand that this is no time to joke but I'm hoping that pulled even a small bit of a smile out of you and if it did the attempt was worth it.
My hideous event occurred last Sunday. In 4 days I lost 10 lbs. I had no interest in food and couldn't sleep. Anxiety attacks right and left. What does the future hold and will there be any mercy for me? At the end of the day I don't have the answer to that question but I found comfort in this.
I attended an AA meeting on Thursday that I hadn't been to in over 2 years and saw a person I pretty much had contact with every week when I was working the program. After the meeting we talked for a little bit and I spit out my entire laundry list and told him about the event and how I was feeling and he asked me a question.
"What on that list can you do anything about today?"
The answer was simple. Nothing. No matter how much I'd like to wish the whole thing away I can't. What is going to be is going to be. I am prepared to deal with whatever hand I am dealt and to learn from it. I may not like it but I can't change it.
You are a good person who made a bad choice. Focus on learning from that and working on correcting what put you there in the first place. Anything other than that is just going to drive you crazy. This will all pass as much as it's hard to see right now.
In finality, you are not alone. I'm here and I understand. We both made bad choices and now we get to deal. We will deal and we will get through it.
Cut yourself some slack. We aren't the first to go through this, we won't be the last, and no one died. Those are all plusses in my book.
The best thing of all? We are here at SR. We're doing the right thing! Breathe, it's going to be a crap show for a bit but we will survive it!
My hideous event occurred last Sunday. In 4 days I lost 10 lbs. I had no interest in food and couldn't sleep. Anxiety attacks right and left. What does the future hold and will there be any mercy for me? At the end of the day I don't have the answer to that question but I found comfort in this.
I attended an AA meeting on Thursday that I hadn't been to in over 2 years and saw a person I pretty much had contact with every week when I was working the program. After the meeting we talked for a little bit and I spit out my entire laundry list and told him about the event and how I was feeling and he asked me a question.
"What on that list can you do anything about today?"
The answer was simple. Nothing. No matter how much I'd like to wish the whole thing away I can't. What is going to be is going to be. I am prepared to deal with whatever hand I am dealt and to learn from it. I may not like it but I can't change it.
You are a good person who made a bad choice. Focus on learning from that and working on correcting what put you there in the first place. Anything other than that is just going to drive you crazy. This will all pass as much as it's hard to see right now.
In finality, you are not alone. I'm here and I understand. We both made bad choices and now we get to deal. We will deal and we will get through it.
Cut yourself some slack. We aren't the first to go through this, we won't be the last, and no one died. Those are all plusses in my book.
The best thing of all? We are here at SR. We're doing the right thing! Breathe, it's going to be a crap show for a bit but we will survive it!
I often hear this phrase that "God doesn't put you through something you can't handle". I get angry when I hear that, because God doesn't put us through anything, and in all honesty...I cannot handle this. I haven't been handling this well at all, and I dont know how I am going to get through all of this.
I sometimes wish I wouldn't wake up anymore, this life has become a nightmare for me. I don't live for myself anymore, I am only living for my families sake. I love them. But this life...its torture right now. I have days where I wish it would just be over with.
I am sorry to admit this, but its true. No I won't hurt myself or do anything to myself, but sometimes I just wish I wouldn't have to keep going anymore.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by Anna
Frank, I am so glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better. And, I hope this week brings some peace to you. Sometimes it's hard to accept things that family members are doing to help us, but, this is a learning experience for you. You have no choice now but to accept the love and help of your family. And, how lucky are you to have that!
Keep posting and keep trying to do positive things each day to help yourself. I really hope that you get some good news this week.
Keep posting and keep trying to do positive things each day to help yourself. I really hope that you get some good news this week.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
First of all: YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON, so get that notion out of your head. If ANYONE thinks your bad, to heck with them. It's your opinion of yourself that matter most and you know you are not a bad person and have lots going for you.
I'm not going to sugar coat this and say, "It'll be fine", because saying stuff like that may not be what you need to hear.
I will share what helped me at some of my lowest points in life; times when I have been knee deep in DIRE straights, felt badly depressed, and just not at all sure how I could carry on and be happy again. I felt utterly forsaken and alone. The world looked gray to me even though it might be full of sunshine. My choices were so narrowed down I felt stuck and had inertia; couldn't seem to MOVE. I was in pain, but there was no pain relief. I felt like responsibilities and obligations I could not arise to at that time were breathing down my neck. There were financial worries and worries about my family. Some of my family members were helpful, while others just told me I needed to buck up, get tough and essentially quit my whining: others were doing a lot worse than I was. It didn't do a whole lot of good for them to tell me that! They weren't in my place and not going through what I was going through.
I had quite a bit of time alone, not by choice, but just because of circumstances...and I turned to God and started praying in way I had never prayed before. I also turned to music and reading to take my ELSEWHERE. That really helped! I turned to crafts to keep myself busy doing something I could do.
But perhaps most of all: I kept my hopes and dreams for the FUTURE alive. Hopes and dreams keep us trying....
We are not always going to get what we dream of. BUT, our dreams and what we wish for do serve a PURPOSE. They help get us out of inertia and give us a reason to look ahead with more optimism.
Another thing that helped was-I made a list of what I COULD do, despite what I COULDN'T do. I thought to myself: "Hmmm. Well, I'm just going to have to focus right now on what I can do-today-and keep my focus there as much as I can and try not to worry about the things that are completely out of my hands." This mind-set did give me some sort of mental edge.
My immediate family was not real helpful at that time. And, in some ways it only made me come out of the experience stronger, and, better.
Can't say that life has been smooth sailing ever since that time, cuz it HASN'T, but whenever I feel myself starting to go through that "tunnel" again, I hearken back and it helps me through until I can see the Light again.
I'm not going to sugar coat this and say, "It'll be fine", because saying stuff like that may not be what you need to hear.
I will share what helped me at some of my lowest points in life; times when I have been knee deep in DIRE straights, felt badly depressed, and just not at all sure how I could carry on and be happy again. I felt utterly forsaken and alone. The world looked gray to me even though it might be full of sunshine. My choices were so narrowed down I felt stuck and had inertia; couldn't seem to MOVE. I was in pain, but there was no pain relief. I felt like responsibilities and obligations I could not arise to at that time were breathing down my neck. There were financial worries and worries about my family. Some of my family members were helpful, while others just told me I needed to buck up, get tough and essentially quit my whining: others were doing a lot worse than I was. It didn't do a whole lot of good for them to tell me that! They weren't in my place and not going through what I was going through.
I had quite a bit of time alone, not by choice, but just because of circumstances...and I turned to God and started praying in way I had never prayed before. I also turned to music and reading to take my ELSEWHERE. That really helped! I turned to crafts to keep myself busy doing something I could do.
But perhaps most of all: I kept my hopes and dreams for the FUTURE alive. Hopes and dreams keep us trying....
We are not always going to get what we dream of. BUT, our dreams and what we wish for do serve a PURPOSE. They help get us out of inertia and give us a reason to look ahead with more optimism.
Another thing that helped was-I made a list of what I COULD do, despite what I COULDN'T do. I thought to myself: "Hmmm. Well, I'm just going to have to focus right now on what I can do-today-and keep my focus there as much as I can and try not to worry about the things that are completely out of my hands." This mind-set did give me some sort of mental edge.
My immediate family was not real helpful at that time. And, in some ways it only made me come out of the experience stronger, and, better.
Can't say that life has been smooth sailing ever since that time, cuz it HASN'T, but whenever I feel myself starting to go through that "tunnel" again, I hearken back and it helps me through until I can see the Light again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Oxnard
Posts: 173
teatreeoil,
What you said means a lot to me. These last few months my dreams felt crushed and my situation felt hopeless. My problem? I am all to focused on all the negative things people keep telling me, I keep going to the wrong sources for information. Last night I had some pretty awesome dreams, I have a lot of dreams. I disagree with you, however, that we are not always going to get what we dream of...I believe I will. I am going to get through this, I am eventually going to find a better job, I am going to finish my masters degree studies, I am going to pass my CPA, I am going to run my own business one day soon, I am going to be a success that can take care of my family and friends. Maybe I am crazy, but I believe this will happen. I am doing everything I can to stay focused on that. And you're right...our dreams serve a purpose...I know mine do.
To everyone, I am sorry for my ups and downs...I have had a lot of them and am probably going to have more to come. I sincerely appreciate each and everyone of you responding to me and uplifting me...making me realize I will get through this and that my life will be better than before I even got this DUI nonsense. It'll pass...it has to.
Today I met with the man who runs a sober living home who is helping me with my case. He told me I need to stop digging for answers from the wrong people and trust in the process. "Frank, I know you're really worried about the refusal enhancement and I need you to stop worrying about it. We are going to work with the DA and judge to get that stricken. I have had clients in my home facing far worse charges get things stricken/dismissed because they were taking actions to correct their lives going forward. You're attending meetings regularly, you've helped me tremendously in this house, you took initiative and asked the judge for an early referral to the DUI program and you are already attending, and I know that judge. If we have to continue this until the right DA comes along willing to deal, than so be it...but stop worrying about it because they(the DA and judge) are going to see what you're doing and we can deal."
I just have to keep trusting in the process. And I know he is telling me the truth, because there are guys in his sober living home that were facing felonies or significantly worse DUI charges get things dropped down or dismissed because of their participation in his program.
What you said means a lot to me. These last few months my dreams felt crushed and my situation felt hopeless. My problem? I am all to focused on all the negative things people keep telling me, I keep going to the wrong sources for information. Last night I had some pretty awesome dreams, I have a lot of dreams. I disagree with you, however, that we are not always going to get what we dream of...I believe I will. I am going to get through this, I am eventually going to find a better job, I am going to finish my masters degree studies, I am going to pass my CPA, I am going to run my own business one day soon, I am going to be a success that can take care of my family and friends. Maybe I am crazy, but I believe this will happen. I am doing everything I can to stay focused on that. And you're right...our dreams serve a purpose...I know mine do.
To everyone, I am sorry for my ups and downs...I have had a lot of them and am probably going to have more to come. I sincerely appreciate each and everyone of you responding to me and uplifting me...making me realize I will get through this and that my life will be better than before I even got this DUI nonsense. It'll pass...it has to.
Today I met with the man who runs a sober living home who is helping me with my case. He told me I need to stop digging for answers from the wrong people and trust in the process. "Frank, I know you're really worried about the refusal enhancement and I need you to stop worrying about it. We are going to work with the DA and judge to get that stricken. I have had clients in my home facing far worse charges get things stricken/dismissed because they were taking actions to correct their lives going forward. You're attending meetings regularly, you've helped me tremendously in this house, you took initiative and asked the judge for an early referral to the DUI program and you are already attending, and I know that judge. If we have to continue this until the right DA comes along willing to deal, than so be it...but stop worrying about it because they(the DA and judge) are going to see what you're doing and we can deal."
I just have to keep trusting in the process. And I know he is telling me the truth, because there are guys in his sober living home that were facing felonies or significantly worse DUI charges get things dropped down or dismissed because of their participation in his program.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Thx for your post, SA. I am glad you are so motivated in a good way...that's awesome and you have a positive outlook for your future and your true potential.
You are so right, that we need to go to good sources for help and information. It can be challenging to find good help and right help...someone who will help you without expecting unhealthy things from you in return...(help with unhealthy strings attached)...those kind of 'helpers' have their own needs in mind sometimes rather than just staying focused and OBJECTIVE about what really needs to be done to turn a situation around and get things headed in the right direction...rather than leading you in a direction that will complicate and add to the existing problem.
I have a lot of dreams too and the other night had an awesome one that I didn't want to wake up from. I woke up briefly in the middle of it and then went back to sleep thinking that I wanted it to resume, and it DID! I do that sometimes. I also have lucid dreams at times.
You are not a felon. You are not a criminal. You are a human being with weaknesses. You drove under the influence and got caught. Many people drive under the influence and don't get caught.
Rest assured that no one here condemns you and you have our support in a good way!
I am glad you've connected with someone who will be there and help you get through this. What a blessing!
You are so right, that we need to go to good sources for help and information. It can be challenging to find good help and right help...someone who will help you without expecting unhealthy things from you in return...(help with unhealthy strings attached)...those kind of 'helpers' have their own needs in mind sometimes rather than just staying focused and OBJECTIVE about what really needs to be done to turn a situation around and get things headed in the right direction...rather than leading you in a direction that will complicate and add to the existing problem.
I have a lot of dreams too and the other night had an awesome one that I didn't want to wake up from. I woke up briefly in the middle of it and then went back to sleep thinking that I wanted it to resume, and it DID! I do that sometimes. I also have lucid dreams at times.
You are not a felon. You are not a criminal. You are a human being with weaknesses. You drove under the influence and got caught. Many people drive under the influence and don't get caught.
Rest assured that no one here condemns you and you have our support in a good way!
I am glad you've connected with someone who will be there and help you get through this. What a blessing!
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