bluhend

I am pretty good most of the time, feel pretty glad I quit, don't see any sense in starting up, but vacations SUCK still, was on my 3rd vacation since I quit the past week, in New Orleans, I virtual hell for someone trying to stay sober ... was plagued the whole time with this feeling like I am missing out on all the fun, and why am I the loser who can't drink and have fun like all these other people (no offense to anyone here, just confessing the garbage that passes through my mind) ... just looking for some encouraging and motivating words, NOT looking for criticism or sarcasm please ... sometimes I wish there was a recording I could listen to about all the bad stuff drinking does to you or any kind of thing that would make you just disgusted with the idea of drinking when I have these thoughts/feelings ... one example of that would be from the 1:52 mark to 4:37 in the podcast if you google "L-Tyrptophan and Your Holiday Brain from Smart Drug Smarts"

biminiblue

There is no way in Hell I would go back to feeling the way I did when I was a drinker. That "I'm missing out" mindset is dangerous for me, I don't even allow those thoughts to gain a stronghold.

Have you listened to any of the online recovery speakers? You can Google it, there are lots. I know AA has a bunch.

bluhend

thanks ... how do you not "allow those thoughts to gain a stronghold"? Just always interested in how people do this, I seem to be missing the DNA to do this ... can you point me with a link to online speakers you are talking about? that will help me get started, if you don't mind ...

entropy1964

Sounds to me like you're being honest. If someone is sarcastic with you that's their problem.

I had one stint of abstinence for two years. The first year was really focused...my recovery was front and center. I did have one very close call at 5 months but that was it. I remember getting one year and thinking that something miraculous was going to happen. That I was somehow going to be some new, impervious recovered person. Done and dusted. I remember thinking quite a bit about what year 2 would be like in terms of recovery. What happened for me is, I thought I was cured. I lost focus on my daily recovery rituals that had worked so well. I started to put myself in places (like Vegas) that I wasn't ready for, in hindsight. I basically lost focus.

I have realized now, at least for me, that while my recovery will mature, my new habits will become more 'natural', the daily effort and focus will remain the same...probably for the rest of my life.

I have no idea if this applies to you at all. But if I were thinking the thoughts you are, I would reevaluate my recovery efforts and my commitment. I hope that doesn't sound critical because its not meant to. Hang in there.

Dee74

Hi bluhend

I'd stop vacationing in places like NOLA. Why torture yourself?

I had to change my life, because my old life was *all* about the booze.

What other changes have you made besides just not drinking?

D

bluhend

thanks, I had to be there for work and then had my wife join me for 3 more days, but you're right, now that I know what it's like I just would have gone and left when I could .... I've changed my life in lots of ways for the better, but this experience showed me that my thinking needs some work

D122y

I am way behind you on the recovery road.

I am just over a year.

My energy is way up.

I sleep right. I have little anxiety in most situations.

I haven't been sick since i quit.

I don't miss being buzzed. I love being super clean.

1 or 2 will not get the job done the way we drunks like it.

Regret will follow.

I have yet to wake up wishing I drank.

Thanks.

least

I don't let any random thoughts of drinking affect me because I want to be sober more than I could ever want to drink. And I don't even want to drink anymore. The thought of drinking repulses me.

The other thing that makes my sobriety strong is gratitude. Being thankful for my blessings puts my focus on the positives in life. It gave me a new, much better perspective.

thomas11

I might have trouble understanding the frustration, until I read you were in New Orleans. I completely understand it now. That place and Vegas would be difficult. Although Vegas you could find other things to do. I haven't been to NO in a long time, but my recollection is that the only sane way to navigate NO is drunk.

uncorked

I live outside of Nola, and it's a hard place to stay sober. We have drive-thru dacquiri stands, for God's sake! Drinking is part of the culture here. I love the city but that's the reality. I think if you were somewhere else (Salt Lake City? haha) you wouldn't have struggled so much with feeling like you missed out. But I totally understand how you feel. I'm fine when I'm at home but it's hard when I see other people drinking and having a good time. But I'm sure you've never woken up in the morning wishing you would've drank the night before, right? I try to keep that in the forefront of my mind when tempted. It's just not worth it.

biminiblue

The stronghold thing: That's kind of the definition of Recovery, in my opinion. The thoughts to drink are going to come - no way to stop them from appearing. I don't give them power over me. My reaction to them is where I find a way to do something other than what my thoughts suggest. So, distraction, exercise, sleep, AA meetings, coming here - whatever it takes to change my thoughts.

If I cannot control myself, who's gonna do it? The thoughts are just thoughts, and it makes sense that I'm going to have thoughts of drinking when it's all I did for so long

If I've made the decision to stop, then I have to do anything other than pick up a drink.

Obsessing/dwelling is where the trouble lies, not the thought itself. Allowing it to gain a stronghold.


The longer I don't give in to the urge, the weaker and less often its appearance.

Here's a link to the recovery speakers:

http://www.recoveryaudio.org/