honeypig

honeypig

I stumbled across the image in the above post and it reminded me of this little story:

Autobiography In Five Chapters

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson

Wishing everyone a wonderful day--take time to look back on your growth and feel good about how far you've come and all you've learned!

SparkleKitty

"Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it."

lostangel011

This one really resonates with me.

Liveitwell

HP-yet another I'm saving for my journal. Thank you for sharing!!!

Berrybean

Oh my goodness.

Thank you.

LexieCat

And, likewise, don't label something as a "mistake" just because it turned out badly. Sometimes we lack any indication that something will turn out badly at the time we make a decision.

IOW, when "sh*t happens," sometimes it's just sh*t happening. Not every bad thing that happens holds a lesson for us--other than how to recover from it.

honeypig

I don't know, Lexie--I think anytime we get a result that's not what we wanted or expected, it can correctly be called a mistake.

Per the Cambridge dictionary online: an action or decision that is wrong or produces a result that is not correct or not intended. Other definitions include "understanding a person or thing incorrectly" or "making a wrong judgment about something" as well as "an error in choice or judgment resulting from incomplete or incorrect information."

I think where I get into trouble isn't in calling my mistakes "mistakes" but in thinking I'm wrong to have made them (which I'm learning is not true). And I totally agree w/your statement about how important it is to use any mistake to learn how to recover from it.

So anyway--my intent w/the original post was not to beat anyone up or make anyone beat themselves up, only to pass on a pic and a story that I thought might be useful. I hope I wasn't "mistaken" in doing that!

LexieCat

OK, here's my example. I'm stuck with a house with a horrendous foundation problem that will cost me many tens of thousands of dollars to fix. I can't walk away from my mortgage (I live in a "recourse" state where the bank can sue me for any deficiency in a foreclosure). I had the house inspected before I bought it, and it got a clean bill of health.

So, was it a mistake for me to buy it? It sure turned out badly, but I did all the "right" things--but I sure wish I'd stayed in my apartment.

I don't think it was a mistake, it was just something bad that happened and I'm up the proverbial creek until I can afford a paddle.

dandylion

I think it works better if we take the (implied) "guilt" away from the word Mistake......

dandylion

honeypig

When I made the original post, I guess I was thinking more along the lines of the repetitive "mistakes" I made during my time with XAH as well as the repetitive "mistakes" I made in other relationships and at work...the posts here certainly apply to those areas of my life, but I agree that your example is a different kettle of fish.

And yes, dandy, removing the implied guilt is a big, big deal for me! Thanks for clarifying.

LexieCat

What I think of as "true" mistakes aren't necessarily anything to feel guilt over, either. For instance, let's use a REALLY wild example and imagine I'm learning a new sport. We'll use an example I haven't attempted and given up: golf. I've got a teacher, who's shown me the correct way to hold the club, swing, hit the ball, and follow through. Even though I've seen it done, been told how/why to do it, I'm not bloody likely to actually DO it the way it's been demonstrated and taught. I make mistakes with how I hold the club and swing it. So yeah, I knew how to do it but was mistaken in my execution. Assuming I don't give up in frustration, it will still take months/years of practice before I'm really doing it correctly.

We ALL make mistakes like that on a regular basis. We're human, not automatons. Unlike Apple products, we don't "just WORK."