Nadinemrrs

Less than 2 weeks ago, I delivered a baby girl in the hospital. Her Father/my boyfriend never showed up because he was too busy getting high on heroin. The night I came home from the hospital he overdosed. He was taken to a hospital, then entered a detox program for 2 weeks and this morning left to a 28 day rehab inpatient treatment program 2 hours away from our city. I am finding myself so depressed about the situation, alone with a new baby. I am happy he is voluntarily getting the help he needs, but I find myself sad, anxious, nervous and scared of losing him for some reason. I also have fears he won't come back to me and the baby. He told me he loved me while sober in detox so that should reassure me but for some reason it isn't enough. I need the security. I'm crying spontaneously and wondering how I'm going to make it the next 4 weeks without him. I miss him terribly, sober or not. I would appreciate any advice on why I feel this way or how to deal. I am really struggling emotionally.

Chino

First of all, congrats to you!

Reaching out for help here is a good first step. Do you have any family or friends nearby? You're swimming in a sea of post pregnancy hormones right now and it's probably adding to your anxiety. There's strength in numbers and surrounding yourself with face to face support would be a great idea.

Please remember your baby is helpless, depends on you and needs 100% of you. Don't let obsessive thoughts about your boyfriend take away from her. He's in a good place right now with lots of help.

zoso77

Nadinemrrs...

Welcome to the Board. First things first; congratulations on the birth of your daughter. It saddens me to know that what should be a time of joy for you has turned into a time of anxiety, uncertainty, and distress. After all, when we bring children into the world, they deserve to have both their parents. Your baby deserves this.

The truth is, Nadinemrrs, is sometimes we have to accept that we don't know what the outcome will be in situations such as yours. And that's an incredibly hard things to accept. You don't deserve to be going through this, and neither does your baby. But sadly, you are.

So...deep breath. Take a look at your baby, and allow yourself to feel the joy of bringing her into the world. She needs you right now, kid. She's where your focus should be, because that's the only thing that you have any control over.

I would be remiss if I did not mention heroin. The thing about it and other opiates is it permanently alters the brain chemistry of the user. Even after someone successfully detoxes off it, the brain remembers all too well what it's like to be under the influence. What's it like? It's bliss. There's no pain, no anxiety, no negative feelings. Just bliss. And when the user doesn't feel that bliss, they will do just about anything to get back there. That's what your ABF is faced with at this moment. He is literally in a fight for his life. How things go for him is entirely up to him. For now, the safe play for you is to not expect much, if anything, from him, for he has nothing to give.

Our little corner of SR is a remarkable place. Our other members will be by to greet you over the weekend. Do not despair. You have much to be thankful for, and that's where you should keep your focus. If you have friends and family in the area that can help you over the next month, now's a good time to lean on them.

Again, congratulations on the birth of your baby girl. Keep her, and yourself, safe. And again, Welcome to the Board.