Sinderos

I'm an admitted alcoholic. My complicated relationship/ex-boyfriend/friend is an alcoholic, weed addict and gambling addict. I realized the severity of it Sunday. He's quit weed so he can pass a drug test for a new job that he hopes to get any day. He now drives right at 4 hours a trip to the casino to gamble. This past weekend he realized if I go he can also stay up all night drinking and gambling then I will drive home. I went with him for the first time last weekend. He's already asked me if I want to go this Saturday evening again. I declined. (His current work schedule prohibits him from going more than twice a week.)

There is a lot more to this than I am posting, but the reality of it hit me in the face when I found him at the black jack table 7 am Sunday with a beer. Then I had to wait another 2 hours before he was ready to leave, also after about 3 or so more beers. He didn't remember stopping for gas or eating breakfast. (The pure oblivion on his face when I found him the first time and he had no clue I was there said it all.)

I am responsible for my actions and decision. He is 45 years old and is responsible for his. I am responsible if I choose to enable his poor choices which also affect my poor choices. (I was 19 days sober last weekend when I went to the casino with him and I drank while there and am now battling to get sober again.) That is MY choice. I have to make choices that will be in MY best interest. He is not in my best interest. My best interest is to actively seek sobriety without a weight around my neck. I always thought I was the weak one, which I am in some respects, but realize he is weak as well. Addiction is real.

More rambling, but I plan on reading my threads as I progress in my sobriety. I don't want to forget where I am now and how far I am when I re-read what I write.

Dee74

I think looking after yourself is a fantastically great idea Sinderos

D

thomas11

Sinderos, the harsh reality of sobriety from drugs or alcohol is that your social circle is very likely to change. I have posted here before that I used to hang around a network of people that was very bad (20+ years ago), I had to get out of that circle of friends or I would end up in big trouble. So I did, and I essentially had no friends for three full years. True story. It saved my life though. You can do it.

FLCamper

It doesn't sound like he is enhancing your life at all.
Good job getting to 19 days. You'll get there again.

Sinderos

Thank you Thomas. Right now he is my only "friend". Cutting that relationship off will be very hard, but I know it is for my own long term good. He's not really a friend which I'm finally realizing. Reality sucks sometimes.

bluedog97

It sounds like your "friend" is really in the grips of alcohol/gambling addiction. I agree with what's been said, you really need to look after yourself. I've lived that same casino/gambling/drinking lifestyle and it's a complete dead end.

gleefan

Sinderos - It sounds like sobriety is opening your eyes. It's hard but it's worth it!

AA or another sober fellowship could be a good option for you right now, a sober crowd to hang out with can show you some of the sober options for fun and companionship.

Sinderos

I started AA last week. I'm trying hard to really make positive changes. It's amazing how difficult it is. I know it will be worth it in the long run. I just have to take one day at a time and try to stay positive.

thomas11

Your attitude is in the right place, and that's a great start. you'll find someone in AA that you will connect with, I imagine.

letitgo

Hugs Sinderos!