Babescake

I drank a glass of wine tonight and I'm mad at myself. I can be sober several days in a row and several nights a week (more than I'm drunk, always been the case). But I know this is progressive.

Not drinking ever again is still so daunting and I'm weighing stuff still (stupid, I know), but I'd really like to do a month thread to prove I can last 30 days. This will also coincide with my 11th wedding anniversary (June 11), and I think would serve as a great gift to not only my husband, but myself as well.

Can you all encourage me and help bump up this thread? Thank you in advance, and I'm sorry if not appropriate.

entropy1964

Sounds appropriate to me. 30 days sounds like a good goal! What's your plan to stay sober? Is hubby in on it with you?

Babescake

He is more than ready for me to be sober. He never wants me to drink at home (this is where I get in trouble). Him/me still are hesitant on the social aspect while out, but it's becoming clearer to me that even that isn't going to work. He has given up drinking at home himself. We have beer, but I don't like beer. I do, however, need to stop and this is a good start plan.

I am seeing an addiction counselor who treats dual diagnosis (my depression started this and now I have two separate disorders. Yea!). I'm also slowly acclimating with AA and other recovery/depression groups.

My husband will be on board with whatever. I need this to work, I don't want to lose my family.

bluedog97

Sounds like a plan to me. You have to do whatever it takes. If this helps, go for it. I'm sure your husband would approve.

Chickenlady06

Sounds like you have a plan!! Keep counting days and sharing your progress. You've got this! Forever does seem daunting, so break it down. Maybe 30 days at a time is what you need. I'm currently on a day to day thought process. Wake up in the morning, review why I don't want to drink today and move forward from there.

ICanDoBetter

I started one for myself and have found it to be very helpful.. I post in it each morning and renew my commitment for the day... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5842214

Komplex

Babescake - this is my day 2, so I would love to follow you and join you as you succeed at 30 days!

doggonecarl

I'm curious, what did you tell yourself that made drinking okay?

You had a post not long ago where you said you tested the waters of moderation and failed miserably. What this yet another test?

I understand how daunting not drinking "forever" can be. That's why one day at a time is touted. Not thinking about forever. Being sober now. Small manageable chunks of sobriety, that strung together, equate to a lifetime of recovery.

Babescake

You are so on point Carl. I pointed this out in another thread where you gave advice. As much as I don't want to hear it, you are succinct and hit me dead on. I still have that little voice, aka AV, that tells me I'm not some chronic ghost out on the street. I still have that horrible reflection of what makes everyone quit drinking.

I should be grateful. I'm educated on the topic, have full support of family, and I'm not far along enough to get withdrawals. But yet I'm still here, stupidly giving in. I want to make it stop. I have an addiction counselor, have been through IOP (sorry, I left after the continual bragging of drug hiding/aggressive assault/jail sentences exchanged).

I DO want to stop more than I want to drink. I must fight my natural depressive tendencies, made worse from this disease and reach out. That is why I hold back. Thank you, though, for being a voice of reason. It IS a wakeup call, and I've always said I appreciate your up-front nature.

Dee74

Posting here before I drank saved me many many times babescake
It's got to be worth a try

D

Babescake

In the end. I chose to drink. It was all me, so no more hiding. I want to prove this mainly for myself, and later on, my family. But I'm learning ME is best. Despite how selfish alcoholism is, sobriety seems to be the same, but not by choice. I'm on the fringes and I'm truly hoping to not make the connector.

gleefan

Choosing to get sober is a great idea! The focus in recovery on doing what's right for yourself is wonderful!

Babescake

Thank you, and I will bump this up. I want to do this!

fini

Can you all encourage me and help bump up this thread?

i have this great idea, Babescake, and it's this: you be accountable to bump this up each day by posting how you're doing. a "daily do" has been hugely helpful in keeping me connected with others in sobriety.
accountability, after all, is to yourself.

you can do this!

least

Post here for strength before you drink, not after.

PaperDolls

30! days sounds like s great goal to me. I had to take it a day at a time too. Sometimes just moment to moment but that helped. I never thought I'd be sober this long. Ever.

Encouragement bump.

newhope01

We sound quite similar and I'd love to join you. I too had a glass after I said no to myself. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow and see if I can do something with this depression and anxiety I have been experiencing for the past 10 years. I don't want to hurt my spouse anymore either.

Let's help each meet our goals together.

Beallara

Did you lapse while out or at home? I ask because for me I've needed different approaches for each. Wine was my poison of choice, and I drank nightly at home. I cannot have wine in the house.

Since I'm in early recovery, my husband has taken over the solo grocery shopping... I'm afraid that I might put a bottle of wine in the cart if I went shopping by myself. In my case, if I minimize the opportunities for temptation then I set myself up for success.

Post here when you want a drink and we can all talk you off the ledge!

Fabela

This is a great thread! Post here every day, and you will get so much support and help, plus it makes you accountable. You can do this!

entropy1964

That's great that he is on board. Sounds like you have a good start. I am also dual diagnosis (ptsd/GAD) so I understand completely. Good luck.