Still Tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: California
Posts: 50
Still Tired
Hello,
It's been a long time since I posted here and am still struggling daily with my alcoholism. Still trying to minimize what it's doing to me and the effects that it has on my family and those around me. I know I am alcoholic yet still try to downplay it and question whether or not I have fully admitted the truth of this to myself. It's strange to know something and feel helpless.
I am burnt out on my job and life in general. I feel stuck. I really believe that I need to head down a different path, including a new job, but live daily in fear and worry. I really want to quit drinking and be the person I know that is hiding deep deep down inside of me that is too scared to come out. So I drown it several times a week.
I am not looking for sympathy rather a swift kick in the rear. Oh life cannot be meant to feel this heavy, hard, and unhappy. I really want out of this cycle and feel so lost. I have done rehabs, AA, and the like on and off for nearing 20 years to no fix. Perhaps there are new avenues to try. I just started seeing a therapist and am open to new ideas. I just want to heal and like myself.
It's been a long time since I posted here and am still struggling daily with my alcoholism. Still trying to minimize what it's doing to me and the effects that it has on my family and those around me. I know I am alcoholic yet still try to downplay it and question whether or not I have fully admitted the truth of this to myself. It's strange to know something and feel helpless.
I am burnt out on my job and life in general. I feel stuck. I really believe that I need to head down a different path, including a new job, but live daily in fear and worry. I really want to quit drinking and be the person I know that is hiding deep deep down inside of me that is too scared to come out. So I drown it several times a week.
I am not looking for sympathy rather a swift kick in the rear. Oh life cannot be meant to feel this heavy, hard, and unhappy. I really want out of this cycle and feel so lost. I have done rehabs, AA, and the like on and off for nearing 20 years to no fix. Perhaps there are new avenues to try. I just started seeing a therapist and am open to new ideas. I just want to heal and like myself.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Hi there, the priority has to be not drinking IMO.
Any attempted progress in other areas of my life were very quickly undermined by drinking and I just got myself "stuck" in just about every area of life for 30+ years.
Seeing a therapist sounds positive. Why not post more and get back to using SR as a support?
Lots of luck
xx
Any attempted progress in other areas of my life were very quickly undermined by drinking and I just got myself "stuck" in just about every area of life for 30+ years.
Seeing a therapist sounds positive. Why not post more and get back to using SR as a support?
Lots of luck
xx
Until It Sleeps
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: AL
Posts: 215
+1 Fartogo
I felt the same way. Got the new job, the new path and all that great stuff. Still I was drinking and still felt unsatisfied. So the local denominator is to get off drinking so my frame of mind will change about the life that's around me. Looking through the alcohol haze, nothing is ever good enough. That's addiction.
I felt the same way. Got the new job, the new path and all that great stuff. Still I was drinking and still felt unsatisfied. So the local denominator is to get off drinking so my frame of mind will change about the life that's around me. Looking through the alcohol haze, nothing is ever good enough. That's addiction.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
The last year of my sobriety has been a big change for me too. I have been dealing with anxiety and some mid-life "what the heck am I doing here" feelings as well and have started doing some therapy myself, I hope you find some use in that. I have learned a LOT and switched counselors once too, but the recent one I'm working with is also a recovering alcoholic so we see eye to eye on a lot of things and I think it helps.
Some of the things that have helped me include mindfulness and trying differnt kinds of meditation. Also acceptance of my anxiety and that I'm simply an anxious person. Lots of things can be done to help and reduce it but at the end of the day I'm learning to accept that I'm just wired a little differently and have to adjust accordingly.
I hope you can find some peace in your journey too!
Some of the things that have helped me include mindfulness and trying differnt kinds of meditation. Also acceptance of my anxiety and that I'm simply an anxious person. Lots of things can be done to help and reduce it but at the end of the day I'm learning to accept that I'm just wired a little differently and have to adjust accordingly.
I hope you can find some peace in your journey too!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1
Time just took itself to heart i guess
I am 50 now and havent drank in years. I started drinking at age 12, went through 3 stints in treatment over the years tried aa several times but drama whining and overpuffed egos made me back WAY out of that.
I simply grew very tired of being sick for days after a binge as well as all the emotional and social and personal trouble that drinking caused. All urges to drink simply faded about ten years ago and i havent looked back. I also have bipolar, ptsd, adhd and am being treated for those issues. I have found over the past 40 years that more times than not there are mental health issues underlying peoples urge to drink into alcoholism. Often times when the proper medication is on board and everything is being dealt with the urge to intoxicate oneself diminishes as in my case and numerous others i have run across.
God bless!
I simply grew very tired of being sick for days after a binge as well as all the emotional and social and personal trouble that drinking caused. All urges to drink simply faded about ten years ago and i havent looked back. I also have bipolar, ptsd, adhd and am being treated for those issues. I have found over the past 40 years that more times than not there are mental health issues underlying peoples urge to drink into alcoholism. Often times when the proper medication is on board and everything is being dealt with the urge to intoxicate oneself diminishes as in my case and numerous others i have run across.
God bless!
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 502
Your situation sounds a lot like mine.
I believe everyone has the power within them to tackle this problem. And it has to come from within. Summoning the power is difficult because of the strength of addiction.
As least might say, the simplest way to express it is: you need to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
This is why it takes so many people to hit rock bottom before doing anything.
I hope you don't hit rock bottom. You have the power to change. It just starts with nor drinking. Take that first step now. We're here to support you through it.
I believe everyone has the power within them to tackle this problem. And it has to come from within. Summoning the power is difficult because of the strength of addiction.
As least might say, the simplest way to express it is: you need to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
This is why it takes so many people to hit rock bottom before doing anything.
I hope you don't hit rock bottom. You have the power to change. It just starts with nor drinking. Take that first step now. We're here to support you through it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Welcome Kellivlem - and congrats on your sober time 
We're all different
In my case I not only had to deal with the problems I was self medicating for, but also the alcoholism that developed from that long term use.
You may get more response if you start your own thread
D
We're all different
In my case I not only had to deal with the problems I was self medicating for, but also the alcoholism that developed from that long term use.
You may get more response if you start your own thread
D
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