Find myself missing it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 112
Find myself missing it
Hey everyone! I haven't been on here much the last few months, but I have been sober. I'll hit six months next week and it's something I'm really proud of. Your support early on was key to me getting rolling.
I have found myself growing nostalgic for drinking sometimes. I am even nostalgic about being sneaky about my drinking.
I'm not at all feeling as thought I need to drink, but... I do miss it. I mean, I did spend most of my adult life with her.
Just wanted to check in, hope everyone is doing great. The thing I am most proud of is that I have now been sober for more than half of my 10 month old son's life.
Happy Mother's Day!
I have found myself growing nostalgic for drinking sometimes. I am even nostalgic about being sneaky about my drinking.
I'm not at all feeling as thought I need to drink, but... I do miss it. I mean, I did spend most of my adult life with her.
Just wanted to check in, hope everyone is doing great. The thing I am most proud of is that I have now been sober for more than half of my 10 month old son's life.
Happy Mother's Day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Congratulations on six months and Happy Mothers Day.
A few years back in Detox we were taught a subject on Mental Relapse, how to be mindful and recognize it and being accepting of people around us who may see it if we do not, a subject you may wish to google as there is a lot of reading material. In the past after months or years of sobriety I have found myself in a situation where I do would remember when, give in to the AV that one or two would be fine and no one would know, I always seemed to pick up where I left off it was like I never stopped drinking in the first place and everything I worked for fell apart.
To defeat these feelings my remember when focus's on a list I carry which I listed what happened when I relapsed, the fight to get sober and what I have gained back in my sobriety, I find this list puts the AV back in it's cage and I carry on happy in my recovery journey.
Wishing you the best
Andrew
A few years back in Detox we were taught a subject on Mental Relapse, how to be mindful and recognize it and being accepting of people around us who may see it if we do not, a subject you may wish to google as there is a lot of reading material. In the past after months or years of sobriety I have found myself in a situation where I do would remember when, give in to the AV that one or two would be fine and no one would know, I always seemed to pick up where I left off it was like I never stopped drinking in the first place and everything I worked for fell apart.
To defeat these feelings my remember when focus's on a list I carry which I listed what happened when I relapsed, the fight to get sober and what I have gained back in my sobriety, I find this list puts the AV back in it's cage and I carry on happy in my recovery journey.
Wishing you the best
Andrew
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
hey beeraholic 
I missed it too - it took me a few months to work out I was still essentially living the same life, only sober.
There was a huge bottle shaped hole there.
I had to change my life to close that hole.
What other things have you changed since getting sober?
D
I missed it too - it took me a few months to work out I was still essentially living the same life, only sober.
There was a huge bottle shaped hole there.
I had to change my life to close that hole.
What other things have you changed since getting sober?
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I come here every day, read and post .
Seeing and engaging with people in early recovery helps fight the complacency.
Romanticising the drink and the experience is what i deconstruct .
I remember the sweats , the shivers ,
I remember finding anyone or anything that got in the way of drinking a frustration ,
i remember feeling sick every morning,
I remember wondering if i was over the drink drive limit as i struggled to drive my car through narrow gaps or keep between the lines ,
I remember the incontinence ,
I remember living pay cheque to pay cheque to pay for it all,
I remember being selfish and avoiding my loved ones,
I remember the flushed face,
I remember the high blood pressure,
I remember the liver pain and kidneys complaining,
Get back in touch with how it really is not some romantic drink with no consequences , there are always consequences .
Focus on the negative consequences of drink and the positives of sobriety. Remember how lucky you are to be sober ,
Have a read on the newcomers here , offer to some hope to someone struggling , read and remember, offer your experience .
Keep on
m
Seeing and engaging with people in early recovery helps fight the complacency.
Romanticising the drink and the experience is what i deconstruct .
I remember the sweats , the shivers ,
I remember finding anyone or anything that got in the way of drinking a frustration ,
i remember feeling sick every morning,
I remember wondering if i was over the drink drive limit as i struggled to drive my car through narrow gaps or keep between the lines ,
I remember the incontinence ,
I remember living pay cheque to pay cheque to pay for it all,
I remember being selfish and avoiding my loved ones,
I remember the flushed face,
I remember the high blood pressure,
I remember the liver pain and kidneys complaining,
Get back in touch with how it really is not some romantic drink with no consequences , there are always consequences .
Focus on the negative consequences of drink and the positives of sobriety. Remember how lucky you are to be sober ,
Have a read on the newcomers here , offer to some hope to someone struggling , read and remember, offer your experience .
Keep on
m
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Play the tape forward. Play it past the nice bit onto the reasons that you stopped in the first place. Romanticising alcohol is a dangerous game to play. You know, it's said that every relapse starts in our heads. Nip these thoughts in the bud before you plan your own relapse.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Remember the hot stove ?
Originally Posted by Beeraholic 
The thing I am most proud of is that I have now been sober for more than half of my 10 month old son's life.
Note:
When I started to entertain the thought of drinking
before long I was drunk yet again.
Remember the hot stove ?
How many times did we touch it before realizing
that it would burn us ?
M-Bob
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 205
The alcoholic in us romanticises the idea of drinking again but I also think that period is the most delicate time that relapse could happen. I remind myself of the realities of drinking like wetting the bed, losing jobs, friends, lethargic etc to stop the thoughts in their tracks. They outweigh any desire to ever to want to drink.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Just a reality check. Is this what you miss?
"I feel so badly
Today was supposed to be my 34th day sober. We had people over to meet our three month old. My sister and her husband whom I always drink with are in town from many states away. I have only told my wife that I have stopped drinking. She asks me this afternoon if I plan on drinking tonight. I tell her I am undecided (seeing a sliver of a window).
Tonight, my brother in law offers me a beer, i take it. And for three hours I don't drink it. After several hours of internal debate, I take a sip of it. i ended up having 3 beers on the night. At this point I am feeling good about my decision and the results.
As my wife and I are going to bed, she asks if I drank tonight. I said yes, I had half a beer that my brother in law gave me.
Her response stuns me. Shocks me. I expected her to be happy that I didn't drink myself into oblivion. And she is. But she also reveals that fir YEARS, since the first incident a month into our relationship when I got drunk and nearly ruined us, that she ALwAYS counts my drinks and worries about how much I am drinking. She says that tonight, knowing I was over a month sober, she realized for he first time how happy she was not to have to watch me so closely.
This broke my heart. She was trying to compliment my behavior tonight and all I could hear was that she has wasted years of her life watching my alcohol intake. I feel terrible."
"I feel so badly
Today was supposed to be my 34th day sober. We had people over to meet our three month old. My sister and her husband whom I always drink with are in town from many states away. I have only told my wife that I have stopped drinking. She asks me this afternoon if I plan on drinking tonight. I tell her I am undecided (seeing a sliver of a window).
Tonight, my brother in law offers me a beer, i take it. And for three hours I don't drink it. After several hours of internal debate, I take a sip of it. i ended up having 3 beers on the night. At this point I am feeling good about my decision and the results.
As my wife and I are going to bed, she asks if I drank tonight. I said yes, I had half a beer that my brother in law gave me.
Her response stuns me. Shocks me. I expected her to be happy that I didn't drink myself into oblivion. And she is. But she also reveals that fir YEARS, since the first incident a month into our relationship when I got drunk and nearly ruined us, that she ALwAYS counts my drinks and worries about how much I am drinking. She says that tonight, knowing I was over a month sober, she realized for he first time how happy she was not to have to watch me so closely.
This broke my heart. She was trying to compliment my behavior tonight and all I could hear was that she has wasted years of her life watching my alcohol intake. I feel terrible."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
Just a reality check. Is this what you miss?
"I feel so badly
Today was supposed to be my 34th day sober. We had people over to meet our three month old. My sister and her husband whom I always drink with are in town from many states away. I have only told my wife that I have stopped drinking. She asks me this afternoon if I plan on drinking tonight. I tell her I am undecided (seeing a sliver of a window).
Tonight, my brother in law offers me a beer, i take it. And for three hours I don't drink it. After several hours of internal debate, I take a sip of it. i ended up having 3 beers on the night. At this point I am feeling good about my decision and the results.
As my wife and I are going to bed, she asks if I drank tonight. I said yes, I had half a beer that my brother in law gave me.
Her response stuns me. Shocks me. I expected her to be happy that I didn't drink myself into oblivion. And she is. But she also reveals that fir YEARS, since the first incident a month into our relationship when I got drunk and nearly ruined us, that she ALwAYS counts my drinks and worries about how much I am drinking. She says that tonight, knowing I was over a month sober, she realized for he first time how happy she was not to have to watch me so closely.
This broke my heart. She was trying to compliment my behavior tonight and all I could hear was that she has wasted years of her life watching my alcohol intake. I feel terrible."
"I feel so badly
Today was supposed to be my 34th day sober. We had people over to meet our three month old. My sister and her husband whom I always drink with are in town from many states away. I have only told my wife that I have stopped drinking. She asks me this afternoon if I plan on drinking tonight. I tell her I am undecided (seeing a sliver of a window).
Tonight, my brother in law offers me a beer, i take it. And for three hours I don't drink it. After several hours of internal debate, I take a sip of it. i ended up having 3 beers on the night. At this point I am feeling good about my decision and the results.
As my wife and I are going to bed, she asks if I drank tonight. I said yes, I had half a beer that my brother in law gave me.
Her response stuns me. Shocks me. I expected her to be happy that I didn't drink myself into oblivion. And she is. But she also reveals that fir YEARS, since the first incident a month into our relationship when I got drunk and nearly ruined us, that she ALwAYS counts my drinks and worries about how much I am drinking. She says that tonight, knowing I was over a month sober, she realized for he first time how happy she was not to have to watch me so closely.
This broke my heart. She was trying to compliment my behavior tonight and all I could hear was that she has wasted years of her life watching my alcohol intake. I feel terrible."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
Interesting to me in this above story is that it didn't occur to you to also be heartbroken by the fact that you'd flat out lied to her....
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by Beeraholic
Hey everyone! I haven't been on here much the last few months, but I have been sober. I'll hit six months next week and it's something I'm really proud of. Your support early on was key to me getting rolling.
I have found myself growing nostalgic for drinking sometimes. I am even nostalgic about being sneaky about my drinking.
I'm not at all feeling as thought I need to drink, but... I do miss it. I mean, I did spend most of my adult life with her.
Just wanted to check in, hope everyone is doing great. The thing I am most proud of is that I have now been sober for more than half of my 10 month old son's life.
Happy Mother's Day!
I have found myself growing nostalgic for drinking sometimes. I am even nostalgic about being sneaky about my drinking.
I'm not at all feeling as thought I need to drink, but... I do miss it. I mean, I did spend most of my adult life with her.
Just wanted to check in, hope everyone is doing great. The thing I am most proud of is that I have now been sober for more than half of my 10 month old son's life.
Happy Mother's Day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 112
Just now reading all of this. Thanks everyone.
As to bringing up that past post from last year, good reality check.
To touch in a few things:
Since sober, I've run a marathon, lost 20 pounds, and done many other things I wouldn't have done.
Thanks everyone, doing well, over six months sober now!
As to bringing up that past post from last year, good reality check.
To touch in a few things:
Since sober, I've run a marathon, lost 20 pounds, and done many other things I wouldn't have done.
Thanks everyone, doing well, over six months sober now!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 205
I understand that feeling exactly... Even if I'm not craving a drink, it's like I have to mourn the loss of the lifestyle I had. Which wasn't always good, obviously, but there are a lot of things (sounds kind of messed up) that I really enjoyed. It's such a major life adjustment, almost liking breaking up with someone... You know they're no good for you and you're better off and you need to separate, but you had become accustomed to them and the way your life was with them.
I wish I had more of an answer...my longest run sober was a month (congratulations on six months!!!)...but I can say that I understand how you feel, and am struggling with it, too. I'm sure, though, that things can only get easier. From what others on here have said, it seems like the first six months are the hardest, so hopefully things will only continue to get better for you from here, despite the "loss" (haha)!
I wish I had more of an answer...my longest run sober was a month (congratulations on six months!!!)...but I can say that I understand how you feel, and am struggling with it, too. I'm sure, though, that things can only get easier. From what others on here have said, it seems like the first six months are the hardest, so hopefully things will only continue to get better for you from here, despite the "loss" (haha)!
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