imsober4me

Why do I care if he has someone else lined up? It hurts bad. I don't understand this part honestly. How do I get past it? I've talked to her and she knows what a liar he is. I also have to laugh because he won't be able to go into Canada. He's a felon

Hangnbyathread

You need to let them either make it or crash and burn like you saw for yourself. My ex cheated on her husband to be with me. Cheated on her first husband to be with her 2nd one. Swore she wouldn't with me. Had my replacement months before she started abusing me.

The only way you will be better is to get better. You can do better than him.

imsober4me

I keep telling myself that. I just can't shake the sickness I feel in the pit of my stomach. To catch him in lie after lie not only me but to her too. He told her he was living with me because he had no where else to go. And that I was a psycho. She knows my work schedule so she can call him so I don't flip out. Keep in mind here what was going on was what I would call reconciliation. We slept together in the same bed, lived in the same house, he said he loved me every day. Stuff like that. I need to cut off all communication apparently because I will just keep getting hurt. I truly hate this and regret going back with him time after time. I am also terrified that knowing that this is going on is going to make me think getting back with him will somehow be a good idea. I need to read some of my book tonight, meditate and read.

Thomas45

You care because you care. You hurt because you hurt. Loss of trust hurts the heart just as a cut hurts the hand. It is in our nature.

You do not know how you learned to breathe, yet you do it effortlessly when you aren't thinking about it. Nobody taught you how to digest your food, but you do it easily. You will get past it when you are ready to get past it and not a moment sooner, much like how a cut heals at its own rate, despite how much wishing you do for it to hurry up and be better. Empty your mind and be still.

healthyagain

That is what they do, they lie. He lies to you, to her, to the whole world, and in the end he lies to himself. He probably honestly believes to every word he says. He might believe that other people are idiots and will not ever figure out what he is doing.

Just imagine he is digging a huge hole and will eventually fall into it. The only thing you can do is decide whether you are going to watch or not, whether you are going down with him or not. Because, tell you what, he sure is going down.

Liveitwell

Friend, his lies are just that-HiS. Sin equals death and you can be sure his life is dying. He's creating his own grave and will fall into his hole that he's created....try not to worry about him-sorry to say but he doesn't sound like much of a catch ?! Why would you want to be with a liar? Let him go-let the new girl deal with his loveliness.

Bekindalways

Argh Imsober4me, this stuff does indeed hurt. Unfortunately, no matter how messed up the X is, you still have to grieve and grieving sucks and takes time. One of many sayings we have is "Time takes time.".

I grieved for a long long time when I left my meth addicted boyfriend. It was almost 30 years ago and I still remember how much it hurt. I felt like I was doing open heart surgery on myself with out anesthesia.

The best book I ever found on grief was "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". It was written some time ago and I have never found anything better. It is a short, easy read.

honeypig

About the lies--I stumbled across this earlier today and it seems appropriate for you right now:



Your honesty will allow all this to eventually fade into your past.
His lies will dog his steps on and on into the future.

Now, who is going to be better off in the long run?