Day 3 first craving
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 197
Day 3 first craving
Understanding a trigger I have. Stress. Sounds so simple.
Had a great day 2 and a neutral day 3 until just an hour ago.
I'm 2 years older than my BF and he mentioned he's going to spend a certain amount of money on something despite telling me he was tight for cash on Saturday and then me compensating by absorbing much more of our costs (as I typically do as the higher earner). So I said oh j didn't realize you had funds to appropriate on this thing. He said he was actually doing better than he thought this pay period and I suggested he save it. And he said "for what?" And I said "the future" and he said "I have plenty of time for that." And it felt like getting punched in the stomach. It took him 7 months to save 750 towards a trip we were taking. I can't even imagine how long it would take him to save for other future goals. And now I keep thinking "I want a beer because that's a safe choice." And because it'll help that **** feeling I have. But then I think back to my "extreme anxiety" post and instead I start chugging... Water! Never want to feel that again.
So instead I'm going to calmly suggest a plan. Every time he buys that thing, he puts the equivalent amount in a joint checking account.
Sounds like a good compromise yes?
Had a great day 2 and a neutral day 3 until just an hour ago.
I'm 2 years older than my BF and he mentioned he's going to spend a certain amount of money on something despite telling me he was tight for cash on Saturday and then me compensating by absorbing much more of our costs (as I typically do as the higher earner). So I said oh j didn't realize you had funds to appropriate on this thing. He said he was actually doing better than he thought this pay period and I suggested he save it. And he said "for what?" And I said "the future" and he said "I have plenty of time for that." And it felt like getting punched in the stomach. It took him 7 months to save 750 towards a trip we were taking. I can't even imagine how long it would take him to save for other future goals. And now I keep thinking "I want a beer because that's a safe choice." And because it'll help that **** feeling I have. But then I think back to my "extreme anxiety" post and instead I start chugging... Water! Never want to feel that again.
So instead I'm going to calmly suggest a plan. Every time he buys that thing, he puts the equivalent amount in a joint checking account.
Sounds like a good compromise yes?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 15
I like your plan and I really like the way you stepped back to approach the problem calmly. Even if the plan doesn't work out you know now how it feels to keep your eyes on the prize and breathe through the sticky stuff. Congrats on day 3!
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