Lightning Bug

And I am scared but ready. I am reading everything I can and reiterating to myself that I will conquer my beast and never ever drink again.

Again I will say it. I will never drink again. Feels good.

Stewart888

Yes, the Big Plan...Best plan going. Never drink Again And Never Change My Mind, No Matter What" You know the "no matter what's come up" in the last 40 plus months things have happened, deaths of close ones, I think that is mostly it, no sickness, or money problems, but deaths, and suddens deaths, you know the kind, but since I made my "big Plan" I wept and felt sad, but did not add to the sorrow by drinking. So, good for you, enjoy life now Earthsteps to the fullest....just remember the "No matter what" part and all with be well...Good going and welcome to the good life,

dwtbd

Congratulations earthsteps! Great decision! Never change your mind , no matter what and the beast is already conquered, sure it will whimper even loudly in defeat, but it's pathetic whining is really the recognition of its demise.
Onward!

MythOfSisyphus

Way to go! I made my Big Plan over three years ago and it changed my life- for the better. Stick with yours and it will change your life, too.

Fabela

Good job!

Stewart888

Ground control to Earthsteps, you still with us?

skywalker91

glad you made your Big Plan buddy!

Lightning Bug

I'm here! Day ten with no change of heart!

Arpeggioh

I'm right behind you, earthsteps...completing day three, fully aware of my AV and how separate it is from 'me.' I love Trimpey's phrase 'yummy relapse,' since they still sound delicious and tempting, every day at this point, but that's not me, that's It talking smack in my head.

I'm still one-daying it, but I don't have to swallow every part of AVRT to benefit from it; I can take a lot of good things from a lot of good programs. This site, especially...had a long day, full of minor frustrations, and just kept looking forward to a cup of decaf and wallowing in SR posts for an hour or two.

I love this place! It's so nice to post sober for a change...

freshstart57

Congratulations to you too, Arpeggioh. Remember it is your AV that says not to be too hasty about kicking IT to the curb permanently. However you do it though is great!

Arpeggioh

Well--
Tonight when I lay me down to sleep, I'll be celebrating a full week without alcohol...first one in several months.

Today I had to have a very stern discussion with my AV and my Beast (I didn't like that idea of a genuine "entity" when I first read Trimpey's stuff; sounded a little fantastical for my taste; today I totally identified with the concept! Such a mean and ugly SOB!) IT was saying, "Ya know, it's Sunday, and you have nothing to do all afternoon; you could drink a whole fifth of vodka, and no one would even know...wink wink, nudge nudge."

I honestly had to address IT in a full conversation within my own head (feeling a bit crazy doing it, but it seemed important!) "You know, Beastie Boy--you're not ME, you're IT, you're evil and nasty and want me to fail and die! And I'm calling the shots from now on, see? So p*ss off!)

I'm slow to feel comfortable with that kind of internal dialogue, since it seems a little schizophrenic ... but this time I'm up for a fight! And today, I won. I love reading threads in places like 'Alcoholism' and 'Newcomers to Sobriety', and get lots of inspiration from many posts there...but I feel a bit better understood over on this end of SR, and I hope earthsteps doesn't mind me hijacking this thread for my own daily posting; I feel more comfortable here.

Happy Sober Sunday,
Arp