When it's you and your thoughts alone, how do you get through without a drink?
When it's you and your thoughts alone, how do you get through without a drink?
Hi all,
I'm wondering when it's you alone with your addiction begging to be fed how do you manage to get through it? Any tips would be so appreciated. I find it so difficult. The thoughts are tormenting at times.
I'm wondering when it's you alone with your addiction begging to be fed how do you manage to get through it? Any tips would be so appreciated. I find it so difficult. The thoughts are tormenting at times.
I wrote my decision to quit down on a piece of paper, one I referred to a lot in early sobriety. And there was a lot of saying "No, I don't drink" to the persistent voice of my addiction. I also had to find things that would distract me until the obsession left.
I think I had to learn to just 'be'. I had to learn to be comfortable sitting with myself and my feelings. It was new territory for me, but it felt great to be able to feel the feelings and not lose my mind over them.
Meditation can help a lot, and Mindfulness is a helpful process to keep you living in the day, in the moment.
Meditation can help a lot, and Mindfulness is a helpful process to keep you living in the day, in the moment.
I've been practicing the whole HALT thing (am I hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?) - usually a craving is caused by one or a combination of those feelings. I'm only on day 42 but I have been walking A LOT. Seems to ease those feelings of uneasiness, know what I mean?
The voice does subside as you start getting into the habit of ignoring it/shutting it down. Really it does. When I was trying to moderate, it was ROARING at me on the days I'd try to be sober. It's easier (really) to just say "I'm not drinking today" and say that every day.
The voice does subside as you start getting into the habit of ignoring it/shutting it down. Really it does. When I was trying to moderate, it was ROARING at me on the days I'd try to be sober. It's easier (really) to just say "I'm not drinking today" and say that every day.
I try to sit back and just watch the thoughts sometimes. They come and go all by themselves. If I do this they don't drag me along with them. After a while I came to accept them. No big deal anymore. Phhhht.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
like doggonecarl said, staying busy is very important in early recovery. When I did have down time, the thought of starting over and going through terrible withdrawals helped a lot. Sometimes, I just say to myself "not today". After a while, those strong urges become just annoying thoughts that fade quickly. Good luck. John
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Diego
Posts: 94
So since then, no matter how angry I get, how bored I am, how negative my thoughts are, how anxious I feel during the middle of the night, I know that alcohol is just an option that I cannot return to.
listen to some 80's music on spotify, it'll make you feel better. I have no hobbies because nothing seems interesting to me, it's just who I've become, so boredom is with me a lot, my outlet was going to friend's houses, and having a good time with alcohol. Now I just deal with it to be honest. I'm going to try to read a couple novels, but that also seems extremely uninteresting to me, but maybe I just need to find a good story.
Alcohol is just simply too dangerous of a substance to keep relapsing on. Once I got passed the mental and physical cravings, once I got passed the deeper addiction, I no longer see drinking as an option for me. But before that, when I was deeply addicted, I would relapse over and over, I'm over that line now, so I won't return because of the damage it was doing to my mind, and also because of how hard it is to initially not relapse, to obtain sober time. I don't want to start over, it's pointless to drink again at this point in sobriety.
I don't wanna deal with even one more hang over, or the feelings of failure that come with one more relapse, like I would rather sit here in sorrow and negative thoughts, than be in a position where I lost my sobriety. It's just not worth it to me anymore, especially now since I've gotten past the major hurdles, and have declined some fun events, and have endured major drama and bad feelings in order to stay sober. I've relapsed enough times to realize that my brain works against me sometimes, trying to goad me into drinking, but I won't budge.
There's some good tips here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
I particularly encourage you to look at Urge Surfing in that link
Posting here for help to get you through is not a bad idea either - none of us has to do this completely alone
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
I particularly encourage you to look at Urge Surfing in that link
Posting here for help to get you through is not a bad idea either - none of us has to do this completely alone
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
That's a very valid question. Two things come to mind, one is that your desire to quit drinking has to come from within. Second, is I would literally do anything to get passed the craving, for me it has been reading, watching a game, I have on occasion just jumped on my treadmill and walked until the craving passed.
It would be quite a list as I have a pretty big tool box to draw from
Come to this site
AA Online
Go for a walk with my dog
Just bought a boat and since the ocean is in the back yard, boat ride and maybe fishing
Visit a neighbor or friend
Go to AA
Watch a movie
Call a family member or friend
Research something of interest
Are just a few
Come to this site
AA Online
Go for a walk with my dog
Just bought a boat and since the ocean is in the back yard, boat ride and maybe fishing
Visit a neighbor or friend
Go to AA
Watch a movie
Call a family member or friend
Research something of interest
Are just a few
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Lehigh valley PA
Posts: 251
I agree with this. You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I also try to shift my line of thinking during a craving. It's SO easy to give into the negative thoughts.
I started to practice meditation and yoga which have both helped me calm down and take my mind off of the craving. I also found journaling helps and I look back on my days newly sober and that helps me remind myself I refuse to ever go back.
Counseling also helps, coloring in adult coloring books helps you not concentrate on your thoughts, reading, posting on here, taking a walk to get fresh air, cooking & baking, cleaning, get on my knees and pray and say the rosary (the rosary takes a good chunk of time so that is helpful) etc. Sometimes I call a family member just to ******** to get my mind off of the craving also.
Counseling also helps, coloring in adult coloring books helps you not concentrate on your thoughts, reading, posting on here, taking a walk to get fresh air, cooking & baking, cleaning, get on my knees and pray and say the rosary (the rosary takes a good chunk of time so that is helpful) etc. Sometimes I call a family member just to ******** to get my mind off of the craving also.
I think the best things to do while the AV is activated and anyone is craving or having urges is to #1 reach out to somebody who understands ie another alcoholic by either going to a meeting coming here & getting it off your chest or phoning a trusted friend
#2 Being pro-active against urges & cravings even further by looking at the link D provided there is excellent threads for urges & cravings that I only found at SR
#3 Play the tape of yourself mentally drinking right through to the end & ask yourself is it really worth it ?
#4 Walking it or jogging it off - when I was still suffering urges & cravings in my first 5 months walking outside really helped with that
I can't stress the importance of reaching out
#2 Being pro-active against urges & cravings even further by looking at the link D provided there is excellent threads for urges & cravings that I only found at SR
#3 Play the tape of yourself mentally drinking right through to the end & ask yourself is it really worth it ?
#4 Walking it or jogging it off - when I was still suffering urges & cravings in my first 5 months walking outside really helped with that
I can't stress the importance of reaching out
Echo Anna, Kaneda, Adeline, all others who mention mindfulness. The single biggest revelation for me in sobriety has been allowing myself to feel things without scrambling into action. When a feeling gets really bad I picture myself riding a bicycle up a very steep hill, the way in that situation I would relax into the effort and not struggle too hard so that I can keep the pace and get to the top. Similarly with the feeling I just breathe through it, don't struggle, and I'm always shocked at how much faster it passes than I expect it to.
Yoga is a double winner because it works on the GABA receptors in your brain, which alcohol does as well, so it can be calming even above and beyond other forms of exercise. I did yoga every day when I got sober the first time.
Yoga is a double winner because it works on the GABA receptors in your brain, which alcohol does as well, so it can be calming even above and beyond other forms of exercise. I did yoga every day when I got sober the first time.
feelings and thoughts aint gonna kill you , drinking will try it's best to do just that if your anything like i was .
Fake it till you make it , sometimes i just did something , forced myself to watch a film , listen to comedy , sort the sock draw , there is a whole world of things .
The cravings are not magically cured , there is no instant hit or fix anymore but doing something seemed to take the edge off enough to get through .
All you got to do is get through and keep on getting through work on yourself and on your sober life .. the cravings diminish in frequency in my experience and I've not had one in over 3 1/2 years now , i stay prepped and ready tho '
m
Fake it till you make it , sometimes i just did something , forced myself to watch a film , listen to comedy , sort the sock draw , there is a whole world of things .
The cravings are not magically cured , there is no instant hit or fix anymore but doing something seemed to take the edge off enough to get through .
All you got to do is get through and keep on getting through work on yourself and on your sober life .. the cravings diminish in frequency in my experience and I've not had one in over 3 1/2 years now , i stay prepped and ready tho '
m
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