Day 2 Begins...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 65
Day 2 Begins...
Hello,
I am a 24 year old alcoholic. I never thought I'd see myself in this position, but here I am. I'm only on day two of sobriety (probably my fifth day two in the past month), but as my therapist says, you need a day two to have a day three...
I do have a support system in my fiance, however, he doesn't fully understand my problem. My therapist is also extremely helpful, as he's a recovered addict, but I only see him once a week. I guess I needed to find something to fill in the gaps. I bar tend five nights a week, and this is where things get really difficult. I've surrounded myself with my worst enemy, and I'm at a point where I can't just quit. I'm moving to go back to school in four months, and I really need the jobs and the money I make from it.
I suffer from severe depression and mild bipolar disorder, and the alcohol makes it so much worse. It also perpetuates the issues I have had with self harm. I'm a little embarrassed and ashamed to admit that, even anonymously, but I'm going into this with an agreement with myself of complete honesty.
I had no major turning point, just the realization that I'm hurting those around me. I'm tired of making those I love worry about me, and I'm not letting alcohol destroy my relationships.
I appreciate anyone who listens, and I like to think I'm a pretty good listener myself. Thanks to anyone for taking the time to read this excessively long post!
-Sara
I am a 24 year old alcoholic. I never thought I'd see myself in this position, but here I am. I'm only on day two of sobriety (probably my fifth day two in the past month), but as my therapist says, you need a day two to have a day three...
I do have a support system in my fiance, however, he doesn't fully understand my problem. My therapist is also extremely helpful, as he's a recovered addict, but I only see him once a week. I guess I needed to find something to fill in the gaps. I bar tend five nights a week, and this is where things get really difficult. I've surrounded myself with my worst enemy, and I'm at a point where I can't just quit. I'm moving to go back to school in four months, and I really need the jobs and the money I make from it.
I suffer from severe depression and mild bipolar disorder, and the alcohol makes it so much worse. It also perpetuates the issues I have had with self harm. I'm a little embarrassed and ashamed to admit that, even anonymously, but I'm going into this with an agreement with myself of complete honesty.
I had no major turning point, just the realization that I'm hurting those around me. I'm tired of making those I love worry about me, and I'm not letting alcohol destroy my relationships.
I appreciate anyone who listens, and I like to think I'm a pretty good listener myself. Thanks to anyone for taking the time to read this excessively long post!
-Sara
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
Welcome to the family, Sara. I know all too well how alcohol can trigger self harm, and how badly we hurt those we love by our actions. You'll find tons of help and support here, and there is always someone online willing to listen.
Do you have a plan for your recovery?
Do you have a plan for your recovery?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome Sara, you are very young with so much to look forward to. I would recommend reading as much as you can here as time allows, it will provide you with some perspective in terms of what you can expect if you wait 30 years before you quit drinking. You've made a wise decision and many people here can help you.
Also, you may want to reconsider your position working at the bar, I understand its good (and needed) money, but temptation is everywhere. For some, alcoholism is a life and death matter and I'm not saying that to be dramatic. Wish you the best.
Also, you may want to reconsider your position working at the bar, I understand its good (and needed) money, but temptation is everywhere. For some, alcoholism is a life and death matter and I'm not saying that to be dramatic. Wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 295
As Thomas said .. you might want to reconsider the bar job.
I am not saying quit it right now and lose the income, but I'd make a plan to get out of there. You could still work there while applying for other jobs .. probably wouldn't take too long to get out of there but still have the income.
I am not saying quit it right now and lose the income, but I'd make a plan to get out of there. You could still work there while applying for other jobs .. probably wouldn't take too long to get out of there but still have the income.
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