Jimmy10k

Hello, I'm new to this site. This is my first post. I'm going to be straight to the point. I'm 28 with a family and I don't think I'll see 30 if I don't stop drinking. I'm not ready to get into details about my drinking but it's bad. I don't become violent or anything I actually become more active and happy around the house. It's when I'm not drinking when I'm not myself (if I even know who myself is anymore).
I'm writing this and all I can think about is going and grabbing a drink. I can't go out to dinner with family or friends because I can't hold silverware or a cup without shaking terribly. I have no clue where to even begin.

On The Road

Welcome Jimmy. Lots of good advice here. Stick around and learn from us.

Sounds like you need to seek treatment to detox. Once you get through that, you can start your recovery. It's not easy, but so worth it.

What medical resources do you have available?

Anna

Welcome Jimmy,

We do understand how hard this is, and I'm glad you reached out.

It might be a good idea to talk to your dr because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. There are many ways to stop drinking and remain sober and the following link will give you lots of ideas:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Jimmy10k

I was laid off a couple weeks ago due to cutbacks and I've lost my insurance. Great insurance I might add. I'm trying to get into a similar line of work with benefits and that pays at least close to what I was making but the drinking is preventing that. It's a vicious cycle. Being off everyday doesn't help the drinking situation. Work would keep me sober for half the day at least.
I'm not trying to sound like a victim. I did this to myself. But I'm very honest when I say that I feel that I feel that I've lost control. And when I think about it, I've been out of control for a very long time.

Anna

I completely understand. I felt like I lost control too and was in a vicious cycle. You need to have faith that you can get out of this and you can live the life you want and be the person you want.

If you can't go to a dr and you are detoxing, please be prepared to go to an ER, just in case.

Dee74

Welcome Jimmy

sounds like you have a few physical issues....even seeing your normal Dr might be a start. They might have some ideas?

D

Jimmy10k

I appreciate the responses. I'm listening to every word. But I want to be as clear and honest as I can be. I don't want you to get the wrong idea of where I stand in my attempt to stop.
My number 1 goal in life at the moment is to stop drinking. But coming in at a close 2nd or even a co-number 1 goal is to get drunk.
At the moment I know for a fact that I'm gonna go grab that drink. It's like I'm holding my breath and all I have to do is breathe (drink) and I'll feel better. I've come to a conclusion and that is I'm a long way from being able to stop

On The Road

I've been where you are now and I know how the cycle works. The only way to break it is to stop and get help. Trust that voice you hear deep inside that says "I've had enough of this s@@*"

If I can do it so can you.

Jimmy10k

Thank you. I appreciate it. I've never admitted this stuff so it's good to get responses to people that understand. I had no idea on what the responses will be like.

least

CarolD (RIP) always said that you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. It sounds like you're not there yet. I hope you get there before something bad happens as a result of your drinking.

Hevyn

Hi Jimmy - I'm so glad you're here.

I was in the same situation when I first came here for help. Couldn't imagine my life without alcohol, even though I knew it was killing me. Most of us are familiar with that feeling - which is why this is such a helpful place. No one understands like your fellow addicts. I was much older than you when I finally admitted I needed help. You'll be avoiding so much wreckage by stopping now. You can do it, Jimmy.

thomas11

Withdrawals can be serious, tapering is not recommended much on this site, but I've successfully done it. It takes extreme discipline as to not simply get drunk again. We know how you feel bud, hang in there. Once the withdrawals "break" and you'll probably know when that happens, you don't have to go through this again.

courage2

Welcome to the forum, Jimmy. I know how hard it is to quit drinking! You've done well to realize the problem and ask for help.

Keep posting your questions & concerns. You'll see a lot of great suggestions from different experiences. The one thing we'll all tell you: it's worth it!

Jimmy10k

I guess what I'd like you guys to shine light on is "What did it take for you to make that decision that you have to stop?"

thomas11

I can't answer that, but I can tell you it took me 19 years longer than you. You've got a lot of life left to salvage.

dwtbd

Knowing the decision was between continuing down a path I knew would be filled more of the same and worse , inevitably much worse or taking action and saving myself and by extension those I care about. And then making the decision.
The day I made that decision, I stumbled onto SR and saw mention of RR/AVRT(there are great threads on those topics in the secular connection forum) , making the decision is definitely doable , and it does get better.
Wish you well and hope to see you around

Delilah1

Hi Jimmy,

Welcome to SR! You will find lots of support here.

I am sorry you lost your job, this might be the perfect time to go to either in or out patient rehab, and then be able to search for a job with a clear head. There are free or low cost programs out there.

I stopped drinking many times, but kept talking myself back into attempting to moderate (save yourself the time from attempting that, I can tell you from experience it doesn't work!!) Finally, I just came to the realization that Least shared, I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been worth it. I will have four months sober in May 1st; and SR was the biggest part of my plan. Spend some time reading and posting on here.

You can do this!!!

courage2

I was drinking straight gin from morning till night. My stomach was a mess. I had more lies going on than I could manage. I still had my job, but I'd been covering my inability to work for a couple of years and a big legal thing was about to come to light. Most of my time was spent planning suicide or playing computer solitaire.

Then I learned one day that an old alcoholic friend had killed himself. And I realized that was my own likely next move.

That was when I thought I should quit. Then when I tried & found out that I was physically addicted and couldn't do it on my own -- that was when I got serious.

Jimmy10k

Wow

courage2

My story isn't special. My point is that alcoholism or whatever you want to call it will cause you & anything you care about serious damage. But you can do something to stop that from happening right now, simply by not drinking.

Then you can start planning how to live sober.