ohiocarrie77

Well my ex and I have a beautiful 3 year old together and have been together off and on for 5 years now, most of which he has been drunk or on drugs. Our relationship was very violent at times and he has physically, emotionally and mentally abused me over the years. When he's sober he's the best man I have ever known. Treats me and our son like gold the problem with our relationship was the drugs and alcohol. Well he has 6 months sobriety under him now and has decided that me and his son are what he wants in his life. Which mind you is what I have wanted for for years - him to be sober and be a great husband and father my problem is I am torn, I have been in a relationship for 8 months now with a decent enough guy but he also drinks not a violent drunk but drinks daily never mean when he drinks but still that's not the point. I am not in love or anything like that it's more of a comfortable feeling then love. Am I foolish to believe that my ex and I can try again now that he's sober. I dont know what to do anymore I thought I was over him but when it came down to it and we spent the afternoon with our son I realized I wasn't and I have no idea what to do . My family thinks I have done nothing right my whole life and so I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. Please does anyone have any advise??

cwohio

ohiocarrie - welcome - you will find many wise and wonderful folks here who may not tell you what to do but have all sorts of experience and tools to share with you. some will tell you to check out al-anon. is you ex going to aa or some support group? he may be a dry drunk - not drinking but no behavior changes. i am not an expert - i am fairly new here and to al-anon but it has helped me in a short time.

arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can - there is plenty on this site - check out the stickies at the top of the forum page.

good luck in your decision and hugs to you from another ohio gal - cwohio (go bucks!)

Peaches04

Hi ohio... my favorite new expression these days is "be still".. by that I mean that you don't have to decide anything today. Take it easy and see how it plays out. You can be honest with your new friend and tell him your situation - if he wants to stick it out, he can. I would tell you ex that you might be interested, but you are not ready to make a decision yet and don't know when you will be...and then just take it one day at a time. When the time is right to make the decision, you will know... have faith. if it's meant to be, it will. There is no hurry...