It's Been a Long Time Since I Was Last Here
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
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It's Been a Long Time Since I Was Last Here
Good Afternoon, Friends! I was just looking back on my last post - it was 2014! I've been away for some time, but think of all of you daily. It's been an interesting 18 months since I was here, and I'll recap a bit for you. I see many new folks here - and for that I am grateful that they found this place, yet saddened that they needed to find this place. I thought I was doing 'okay' in dealing with the daily grinds of: parenting, working, living with an active A, etc.
But I stopped by just yesterday, read some quick posts, and realized how lost I had become again. That, and the fact that the home situation is deteriorating once again. So, again, I thank God that I have this place, and I have God.
In my last visit back in 10/2014 I was in the midst of a huge project at work - I had 2 days off the final 6 months of that year - Christmas, and Thanksgiving. I poured my heart and soul into it. At the end, when review time came, I was told that "you worked too hard, and you did too much for people"!! What boss tells someone that that did too much, and were too helpful! Oh yeah, a boss that doesn't want to give a good review and raise. Fast forward 10 months, and I get the boot from my job on my 10th anniversary with the company. The boss made up lies about what I had done and what I was doing - and I had proof to what really happened, but HR believes the manager.
Two days later I land a contracting opportunity that paid great money. During the contracting gig I found a permanent, full-time position with a fantastic company. In less than 2 months from despair, I was in a whole better spot in life. My wife lost her job 3 weeks after I did - and we were in the process of building a house! By the Grace of God, she came to be in a better spot as well - we were going to be okay.
DS had his 6th birthday in March, and we moved into the new home in March as well. Things should be looking up, right? Not when living with an A, no such luck.
Backstory: earlier this year she decided to start exercising and only drink on weekends. She started feeling better, felt better about herself, and things at home improved. Four weeks later she hurts herself on the treadmill and can't run anymore. She is now in a boot waiting for the next MRI. In the meantime, it's wine every night, and passing out in various places in the house. Luckily, DS is a sound sleeper and doesn't get up during the night and wander, so he has 'yet' to find her incoherent somewhere in the house, like on the toilet for 2 hours this past weekend.
Two weeks ago I was told that: I'm a horrible husband, I'm killing the marriage, I'm not affectionate, and I'm just an overall bad person. I listened. Two nights later I get basically the same talking to, and she said the marriage is over and wants a divorce. She asks for, and I give her, the number to our lawyer back where we used to live. Three years ago I talked to a family lawyer here, so I don't need the other guy. She said she's been trying to kill herself with booze off-and-on for the last 5 years - but she's not depressed! She also takes responsibility for ruining the marriage, but it's totally my fault for her 'having' to drink to cope with living with me. Oh , the messed-up alcoholic mind.
I wrote her a long letter about why I'm unaffectionate (live with someone who is in love with a bottle, and you'll have your answer), and how I am happy to let her go if she wants to continue her self-destructing ways. I have yet to give it to her, however, because it will cause much anguish in the house where there is already stress because of the upheaval of still trying to unpack from the move.
I've shortened some of the details because this is already long. But I needed this because I always feel better being here, and reading what you have to say. I guess I just need some ES&H, and this is the perfect place to get it.
Thanks for all you do, and all that you are.
C-O Dad
But I stopped by just yesterday, read some quick posts, and realized how lost I had become again. That, and the fact that the home situation is deteriorating once again. So, again, I thank God that I have this place, and I have God.
In my last visit back in 10/2014 I was in the midst of a huge project at work - I had 2 days off the final 6 months of that year - Christmas, and Thanksgiving. I poured my heart and soul into it. At the end, when review time came, I was told that "you worked too hard, and you did too much for people"!! What boss tells someone that that did too much, and were too helpful! Oh yeah, a boss that doesn't want to give a good review and raise. Fast forward 10 months, and I get the boot from my job on my 10th anniversary with the company. The boss made up lies about what I had done and what I was doing - and I had proof to what really happened, but HR believes the manager.
Two days later I land a contracting opportunity that paid great money. During the contracting gig I found a permanent, full-time position with a fantastic company. In less than 2 months from despair, I was in a whole better spot in life. My wife lost her job 3 weeks after I did - and we were in the process of building a house! By the Grace of God, she came to be in a better spot as well - we were going to be okay.
DS had his 6th birthday in March, and we moved into the new home in March as well. Things should be looking up, right? Not when living with an A, no such luck.
Backstory: earlier this year she decided to start exercising and only drink on weekends. She started feeling better, felt better about herself, and things at home improved. Four weeks later she hurts herself on the treadmill and can't run anymore. She is now in a boot waiting for the next MRI. In the meantime, it's wine every night, and passing out in various places in the house. Luckily, DS is a sound sleeper and doesn't get up during the night and wander, so he has 'yet' to find her incoherent somewhere in the house, like on the toilet for 2 hours this past weekend.
Two weeks ago I was told that: I'm a horrible husband, I'm killing the marriage, I'm not affectionate, and I'm just an overall bad person. I listened. Two nights later I get basically the same talking to, and she said the marriage is over and wants a divorce. She asks for, and I give her, the number to our lawyer back where we used to live. Three years ago I talked to a family lawyer here, so I don't need the other guy. She said she's been trying to kill herself with booze off-and-on for the last 5 years - but she's not depressed! She also takes responsibility for ruining the marriage, but it's totally my fault for her 'having' to drink to cope with living with me. Oh , the messed-up alcoholic mind.
I wrote her a long letter about why I'm unaffectionate (live with someone who is in love with a bottle, and you'll have your answer), and how I am happy to let her go if she wants to continue her self-destructing ways. I have yet to give it to her, however, because it will cause much anguish in the house where there is already stress because of the upheaval of still trying to unpack from the move.
I've shortened some of the details because this is already long. But I needed this because I always feel better being here, and reading what you have to say. I guess I just need some ES&H, and this is the perfect place to get it.
Thanks for all you do, and all that you are.
C-O Dad
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Oh, man, sorry to hear all that, but so happy to see you again!
"Lost" sounds like a good way to describe it. You can find your way again.
The fact that your son hasn't encountered her stumbling around incoherently (YET, and as far as you KNOW) doesn't mean he isn't aware, on some level, that something is wrong. Kids often stuff everything inside.
Why are you letting her take the lead on the "divorce" quacking (and I'd be very surprised if she makes move one in that direction)? Just as an aside, a lawyer who previously represented you (together or separately) is not going to be able to represent her in a divorce action. Conflict of interest.
What will it take for you to set yourself and your son free of this?
Hugs, I'm glad you're back with us. This is the time to work on those reality checks we are so good at giving around here.
"Lost" sounds like a good way to describe it. You can find your way again.
The fact that your son hasn't encountered her stumbling around incoherently (YET, and as far as you KNOW) doesn't mean he isn't aware, on some level, that something is wrong. Kids often stuff everything inside.
Why are you letting her take the lead on the "divorce" quacking (and I'd be very surprised if she makes move one in that direction)? Just as an aside, a lawyer who previously represented you (together or separately) is not going to be able to represent her in a divorce action. Conflict of interest.
What will it take for you to set yourself and your son free of this?
Hugs, I'm glad you're back with us. This is the time to work on those reality checks we are so good at giving around here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Really nice to see you again, CoD. I can't say I'm surprised that things have progressed to this point, but it was a good move coming back here for support.
Please don't underestimate the effect your wife's alcoholism has on your son. The drinking is just a part of it. Having one parent who is emotionally unavailable and blames all of her problems on other people is just as damaging, if not more, than seeing a parent drunk and incoherent when you are too little to understand what's happening. I know because I was that kid.
I didn't know Mom was an alcoholic until I was 19, and that didn't make one bit of difference keeping me from growing up into a classic Adult Child of an Alcoholic, with all the requisite relationship issues, total and utter lack of self esteem, and a complete inability to validate myself or allow myself feelings.
I'll reiterate, because it's important -- the rest of my family shielded me totally from witnessing Mom's drunkenness, and it did not make one bit of difference.
The anguish and stress of a divorce is not worse than the constant underlying tension of a household that is ruled by addiction. When you make healthy choices on behalf of your children, they WILL recover from the short-term discomfort and pain of change.
Sending you strength and courage. I wish your wife showed any sign of wanting to change. I wish I could give you that kind of hope.
But my friend, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Please don't underestimate the effect your wife's alcoholism has on your son. The drinking is just a part of it. Having one parent who is emotionally unavailable and blames all of her problems on other people is just as damaging, if not more, than seeing a parent drunk and incoherent when you are too little to understand what's happening. I know because I was that kid.
I didn't know Mom was an alcoholic until I was 19, and that didn't make one bit of difference keeping me from growing up into a classic Adult Child of an Alcoholic, with all the requisite relationship issues, total and utter lack of self esteem, and a complete inability to validate myself or allow myself feelings.
I'll reiterate, because it's important -- the rest of my family shielded me totally from witnessing Mom's drunkenness, and it did not make one bit of difference.
The anguish and stress of a divorce is not worse than the constant underlying tension of a household that is ruled by addiction. When you make healthy choices on behalf of your children, they WILL recover from the short-term discomfort and pain of change.
Sending you strength and courage. I wish your wife showed any sign of wanting to change. I wish I could give you that kind of hope.
But my friend, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
COD.....I can imagine that you exist your days in a level of misery and fear....
and, your wife is equally miserable, inside......
Alcoholics will often spend years and years trying to moderate their drinking....because, giving up alcohol forever is literally unimaginable for them.
So, they rationalize and project, and use all forms of denial to protect themselves and their ability to continue to drink....
Of course, they use the enablers in their life to help them continue to drink in comfort and without consequence.....while, the enablers continue to suffer from the actions of the alcoholic.....
It is futile to try to use reason and logic with an alcoholic...because their denial will explode every tact that you try....Even during their "sober" hours....the thinking is still the same.....
I think that, often, a loved one will stay in a bad domestic situation because of the guilt they experience at the thought of "breaking up a family"...and, the resultant effects on the kids. The assumption being that this is the worst thing that can happen to kids.
Of course, having two healthy and happy parents is an ideal situation.....Nobody would want to break up a good family.......
But, it is, I believe, not a disservice to kids to change a BAD family situation.....
In fact, it is considered better, by developmental psychologists, for the child to have one consistent, healthy and nurturing parent in a predictable and secure home....
Two co-parenting adults in separate houses...being better than living continuously in a tense environment with conflict......
I hear this talked about, all the time, in The Adult Children of Alcoholics section of SR......
Something that I would like to ask you: Are you happy.....are you content down deep...near your soul? that is the place where out spirit lives and where our strength and joy for living resides.....
If not, how imoportant is your happiness to you?
to me...that is the m ost important possession in life...beyond gold....
That was the question that I had to ask myself when I realized that I could never be my own self as long as I was l iving with my first husband....the father of my three children......
I just felt that I wanted to share my thoughts with you...in the hope that they might be helpful.....
dandylion
and, your wife is equally miserable, inside......
Alcoholics will often spend years and years trying to moderate their drinking....because, giving up alcohol forever is literally unimaginable for them.
So, they rationalize and project, and use all forms of denial to protect themselves and their ability to continue to drink....
Of course, they use the enablers in their life to help them continue to drink in comfort and without consequence.....while, the enablers continue to suffer from the actions of the alcoholic.....
It is futile to try to use reason and logic with an alcoholic...because their denial will explode every tact that you try....Even during their "sober" hours....the thinking is still the same.....
I think that, often, a loved one will stay in a bad domestic situation because of the guilt they experience at the thought of "breaking up a family"...and, the resultant effects on the kids. The assumption being that this is the worst thing that can happen to kids.
Of course, having two healthy and happy parents is an ideal situation.....Nobody would want to break up a good family.......
But, it is, I believe, not a disservice to kids to change a BAD family situation.....
In fact, it is considered better, by developmental psychologists, for the child to have one consistent, healthy and nurturing parent in a predictable and secure home....
Two co-parenting adults in separate houses...being better than living continuously in a tense environment with conflict......
I hear this talked about, all the time, in The Adult Children of Alcoholics section of SR......
Something that I would like to ask you: Are you happy.....are you content down deep...near your soul? that is the place where out spirit lives and where our strength and joy for living resides.....
If not, how imoportant is your happiness to you?
to me...that is the m ost important possession in life...beyond gold....
That was the question that I had to ask myself when I realized that I could never be my own self as long as I was l iving with my first husband....the father of my three children......
I just felt that I wanted to share my thoughts with you...in the hope that they might be helpful.....
dandylion
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by dandylion 
I think that, often, a loved one will stay in a bad domestic situation because of the guilt they experience at the thought of "breaking up a family"...and, the resultant effects on the kids. The assumption being that this is the worst thing that can happen to kids.
ne consistent, healthy and nurturing parent in a predictable and secure home....dandylion
ne consistent, healthy and nurturing parent in a predictable and secure home....dandylion
I just left my AH two months ago. My kids were glad that we moved. They love our apartment. Yes, I moved out...left a house with a pool..two dogs...into an apartment. It was not easy to do. I had thought about it for months and months. I sat on that fence...waiting and hoping he would change. Or that "this time" the sober stint would stick...it didn't.
My kids adapted to the change. And that makes me so proud of them. I think I was scared of the unknown...so much so that I stayed at that house longer than I should have. I was so used to the roller coaster and didn't think I could do it on my own...but I can...and I am.
I hope you get the support you need here and in other places like a good friend, family, therapist, Al Anon...
Just know you are not alone in this...I can so relate to what you are going through...but it can get better...you have the tools to make that happen...
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Hey COD
Congrats on the new job ~ glad you don't have that stress with all the other you are dealing with
Also glad you are reaching out for e, s, & h for you ~ living with the active disease is so difficult on you & your son.
Please use the tools of the program in making those healthy decisions for you & your son ~ both of you deserve it.
pink hugs!
Congrats on the new job ~ glad you don't have that stress with all the other you are dealing with
Also glad you are reaching out for e, s, & h for you ~ living with the active disease is so difficult on you & your son.
Please use the tools of the program in making those healthy decisions for you & your son ~ both of you deserve it.
pink hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Yes, I'm here. Sorry, haven't had much time to post - just lurk! Things are about the same - just 'hanging in'. Enjoying reading the straight talk on this site and remembering how much better I felt when I was here way back when. I'm feeling better every day. I forgot some of the wisdom that was posted, but am starting to remember.
I had not realized how 'all about her' it had become and how the 'taking care of me' had gone away so long ago.
I'll write more later
I had not realized how 'all about her' it had become and how the 'taking care of me' had gone away so long ago.
I'll write more later
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
COD.....I am so glad that you are still here...and, hanging in!
I realize that this is a lot to take in and to process.....I imagine that it challenges so much of what you are used to thinking and feeling.......
You are doing fine, though.....as long as you are trying...you will be o.k., in the long run.......
so much of the time, the necessary changes that we make in life are begun in times of crisis......
around here, you will frequently hear people say...."progress not perfection"......
and, "one day at a time"......
dandylion
I realize that this is a lot to take in and to process.....I imagine that it challenges so much of what you are used to thinking and feeling.......
You are doing fine, though.....as long as you are trying...you will be o.k., in the long run.......
so much of the time, the necessary changes that we make in life are begun in times of crisis......
around here, you will frequently hear people say...."progress not perfection"......
and, "one day at a time"......
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
I'm sorry for the reason you are here, but so happy that you came back to let your feelings out and to get support by those who understand. That alone can be huge, just knowing that people understand. Unless you have lived it, it is hard for people to truly get what it is like.
Even though your wife is the one that started the discussion about divorce, it might be something to truly think about even if she doesn't continue to move in that direction. Did you feel a feelings of relieve when she said it? You can ALWAYS decide to be the one to walk away. Your child does know something is going on, even if not the extent of it. You have the power to take him out of that unhealthy situation, so even if you aren't inclined to do it for your own life and your own well being, please consider it for his own well being.
Your wife sounds like she is progressively deteriorating and that mentally she is going farther down the rabbit hole. She doesn't seem to want recovery at all, nevermind with the kind of conviction she would need in order to have even a chance of obtaining it. Art therapy might be a nice thing to do for your son, they have themed ones so there will be a group of kids that have lost a parent, have an A for a parent, a parent with a terminal illness, etc. etc. Even though he might not know exactly what is going on, that doesn't mean that he isn't feeling anything. Art therapy is a great experience for the child, and you might be surprised what feelings he shows through his art work.
Please continue coming back, HUGS
Even though your wife is the one that started the discussion about divorce, it might be something to truly think about even if she doesn't continue to move in that direction. Did you feel a feelings of relieve when she said it? You can ALWAYS decide to be the one to walk away. Your child does know something is going on, even if not the extent of it. You have the power to take him out of that unhealthy situation, so even if you aren't inclined to do it for your own life and your own well being, please consider it for his own well being.
Your wife sounds like she is progressively deteriorating and that mentally she is going farther down the rabbit hole. She doesn't seem to want recovery at all, nevermind with the kind of conviction she would need in order to have even a chance of obtaining it. Art therapy might be a nice thing to do for your son, they have themed ones so there will be a group of kids that have lost a parent, have an A for a parent, a parent with a terminal illness, etc. etc. Even though he might not know exactly what is going on, that doesn't mean that he isn't feeling anything. Art therapy is a great experience for the child, and you might be surprised what feelings he shows through his art work.
Please continue coming back, HUGS
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
To respond to a couple of the questions regarding divorce: Yes, I think it is pure quacking - that's why I gave it to her and said "go ahead, call him". She knows she won't go through with it because she doesn't have a leg to stand on! What's she going to tell the judge - "Yes, your honor, I ruined the marriage by drinking and being unable to be a parent, but somehow he made me do it and it's all his fault!" That won't last long.
And secondly, I have considered initiating divorce, and spoke to an atty. back in 2013 before the car accident (when she seemed to right her ways - for a while). So, I still have his name and the office's website address in my Favorites. I may make another call to him just to update him on things just so I have someone when the time is right.
Thanks for your support!
C-O Dad
And secondly, I have considered initiating divorce, and spoke to an atty. back in 2013 before the car accident (when she seemed to right her ways - for a while). So, I still have his name and the office's website address in my Favorites. I may make another call to him just to update him on things just so I have someone when the time is right.
Thanks for your support!
C-O Dad
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Hey COD long time no see!
It sounds like you are glad she won't move toward divorce. I'm sure you are a no fault state and the chances of you making it in "front" of a judge are slim. Almost all divorces (due to the extreme cost of a trial) are negotiated.
What do you want to do? Are you content to continue on for some other number of years living like this?
The winds of change have been blowing your way. Perhaps it's time you set sail.
It sounds like you are glad she won't move toward divorce. I'm sure you are a no fault state and the chances of you making it in "front" of a judge are slim. Almost all divorces (due to the extreme cost of a trial) are negotiated.
What do you want to do? Are you content to continue on for some other number of years living like this?
The winds of change have been blowing your way. Perhaps it's time you set sail.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Actually, RedAtlanta, I am hoping she does initiate divorce - I want to see/hear her grounds for leaving.
I was just reading back on some of my posts from 2012/13 - things are pretty much the same! I need to keep reading those, and what you guys said, again, and establish a game plan.
"More to be revealed". I'll post more later
I was just reading back on some of my posts from 2012/13 - things are pretty much the same! I need to keep reading those, and what you guys said, again, and establish a game plan.
"More to be revealed". I'll post more later
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Originally Posted by CentralOhioDad
Actually, RedAtlanta, I am hoping she does initiate divorce - I want to see/hear her grounds for leaving.
I was just reading back on some of my posts from 2012/13 - things are pretty much the same! I need to keep reading those, and what you guys said, again, and establish a game plan.
"More to be revealed". I'll post more later
I was just reading back on some of my posts from 2012/13 - things are pretty much the same! I need to keep reading those, and what you guys said, again, and establish a game plan.
"More to be revealed". I'll post more later
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Cod,
I am sorry that after almost 2 years you are still living the same hxll. It does take a toll on us codies, mentally and physically.
I would reach out for some help for you and your child. Have enough respect for the both of you and move on. Life is to short. I lived with my AXH for 34 years and I was going crazy. I am divorced, almost 1 1/2 years now and my life is amazing. This is not saying that I don't still love my X, but I chose to no longer go down the path he was dragging me on. I will never again live with active addiction in my home again!!
My life is calm, no one to fight and argue with, no one to give me dirty looks or no one to spend our money on alcohol and drugs, no one to lie to me and cheat on me. The day I moved on my own, I slept through the night. I hadn't done that in 25 years.
I understand that you want to stay together for your child, but if you didn't have a child would you be together or would you have left many moons ago? Go on to the Adult children of alcoholics forum and ask those people what they wished their parents would have done. I bet the majority would wished that their parents had separated and that they were away from the A in their life.
Do some reading and educating yourself. Find out what is truly best for you, take the time and execute your decision. Hugs my friend, we are all here for you.
I am sorry that after almost 2 years you are still living the same hxll. It does take a toll on us codies, mentally and physically.
I would reach out for some help for you and your child. Have enough respect for the both of you and move on. Life is to short. I lived with my AXH for 34 years and I was going crazy. I am divorced, almost 1 1/2 years now and my life is amazing. This is not saying that I don't still love my X, but I chose to no longer go down the path he was dragging me on. I will never again live with active addiction in my home again!!
My life is calm, no one to fight and argue with, no one to give me dirty looks or no one to spend our money on alcohol and drugs, no one to lie to me and cheat on me. The day I moved on my own, I slept through the night. I hadn't done that in 25 years.
I understand that you want to stay together for your child, but if you didn't have a child would you be together or would you have left many moons ago? Go on to the Adult children of alcoholics forum and ask those people what they wished their parents would have done. I bet the majority would wished that their parents had separated and that they were away from the A in their life.
Do some reading and educating yourself. Find out what is truly best for you, take the time and execute your decision. Hugs my friend, we are all here for you.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yes, every State I'm aware of has no-fault grounds for divorce. Some have a brief (six months/a year) of separation as a requirement for filing.
Which brings me to the fact that YOU don't have to prove a thing, yourself, to get that divorce if you choose to do it. As far as custody issues go, your testimony alone is perfectly acceptable evidence. To the extent there is some corroboration, of course, you will be on stronger ground. Still, courts no longer automatically award custody to the mother--even where the children are quite young. They are all too aware that alcoholism and addiction can make a parent unsafe to have full responsibility for a child. There are many options, including supervised visitation, alcohol monitoring, etc.
I'd be having some discussions with that lawyer well BEFORE you hit your last straw and are desperate to get out. The lawyer can advise you about your rights, obligations, and help you identify what kinds of proof will be necessary to protect your child, so you can start gathering it.
Which brings me to the fact that YOU don't have to prove a thing, yourself, to get that divorce if you choose to do it. As far as custody issues go, your testimony alone is perfectly acceptable evidence. To the extent there is some corroboration, of course, you will be on stronger ground. Still, courts no longer automatically award custody to the mother--even where the children are quite young. They are all too aware that alcoholism and addiction can make a parent unsafe to have full responsibility for a child. There are many options, including supervised visitation, alcohol monitoring, etc.
I'd be having some discussions with that lawyer well BEFORE you hit your last straw and are desperate to get out. The lawyer can advise you about your rights, obligations, and help you identify what kinds of proof will be necessary to protect your child, so you can start gathering it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I'm sorry you find yourself back here under these circumstances. You sound like a good dad and husband that has hung in there way longer than warrabted given her actions, and I hope you make the best decision for yourself and your little one. Btw, your original post kind of made me chuckle , then cry a little. It's so sad that they all say the same things, isn't it?! I too was told what an awful wife I was, that I was so horrible to live with, that I caused him to drink, that I ruined the marriage bc I was not affectionate (gee, I wonder why!), etc, etc. Lovely words from an alcoholic. It's sad when they can string together did good times and your hopes get up-and then, BAM! Right back to square one. BUT you don't have to bear witness to her going down the rabbit hole. You can get out and get your child to safety. I'm sure he knows more than he lets on and each day he will understand more.
Anyway, just wanted to say hello and nice to meet you. I wish you all the best. Please let us know what we can do to support you.
Peace to you.
Anyway, just wanted to say hello and nice to meet you. I wish you all the best. Please let us know what we can do to support you.
Peace to you.
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