lifewithoutbooz

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on SR in several years and just realized I should've picked a shorter username (lol!). I've been on/off the 'wagon' and realize I need to come back if I'm going to succeed in quitting for good. My husband is an alcoholic so that makes it even harder to quit. My doctor said to me last week that "I have to change myself, not him." I've spent 18 years trying to change him instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and decisions. I kept blaming him for my drinking problem.

I'm really looking forward to being back and reading other people's stories and words of encouragement - God knows I haven't been able to do it on my own.

lwb (for short!)

Anna

Welcome back!

Your dr is absolutely right. Do what you need to do to get and stay sober. You can be an example to your husband, but the focus should be on taking care of yourself.

It's hard to quit, but you can do it. We are here for you anytime.

least

Welcome back! I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

amazingjoy

Hi welcome back! Glad you are joining us!

Hevyn

Very glad to see you, lwb. We're ready to listen and help. You can do it!

Delizadee

Welcome back lw! I had the same problem. Trying to fix everyone and everything outside of myself. Didn't work very well and I ended up here. This us a good place to be tho

lifewithoutbooz

Thanks everyone! I've been in a doom and gloom mentality for quite some time now and just checking in and seeing all of your encouraging words makes me feel a million times better.

FLCamper

I've seen lots of people post success stories on here - they've successfully quit despite their partners continuing to drink. Don't use him as an excuse. You can stop with out him - maybe you'll even inspire him.
Good thoughts your way- let us know how you are doing.

lifewithoutbooz

I've used him as an excuse for way too long. He knows he should stop drinking but deep down I don't believe he wants to so I have to help myself. I really do want to quit. One day at a time...

Delilah1

Welcome back!!! I have been on and off SR for a few years as well. I can relate to it being difficult when your husband drinks, mine does as well. I finally had to decide that I wanted this for me. I am getting close to four months, and feeling really good. You can do this!!!

❤️ Delilah

2ndhandrose

Welcome lwb

I have been sober for 1 year and almost 4 months and I am married to my actively alcoholic husband. We've been together for 23 years. I delayed quitting drinking for years in part because I rationalized that I drank to cope with his drinking. Really, I drank because I am an alcoholic, he was just a handy excuse.

I eventually had a health issue that made me decide it was time to quit and it has been the best decision I could have made. It hasn't been a walk in the park but it has been so worth it.

I don't know how the future will play out in my marriage but the one thing I am sure of is I will not drink again, no matter what.

I spend a lot of time over in the family & friends section, learning as much as I can about codependence, as I realize that has been a big part of my (dys)functioning that is not working for me anymore.

There are lots of us here, the double winners , so you are not alone

Ripples

I can relate. When I was married to a daily pot user I used that to excuse my drinking. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it he did not bear the consequences of my drinking so it eventually caught up with me and I got to make a decision. It was awkward being the sober one in the household and boy did things get different. It can be a long road but worth it. I now have self respect, peace of mind and authentic relationships in my life. I hope you allow yourself the grace youll need to choose to care for yourself. My prayers are with you. <3 You can do this with support. Keep reaching out.

skywalker91

welcome!! stay close

ccam1973

Welcome back lwb. I had to quit when my wife was still drinking heavily. I think you realize you can only control yourself. Decide what you want and make it happen.

Glad you found your way back to SR.

LosingmyMisery

I'm glad you came back for support and encouragement. You are doing the right thing for you. From experience, I know how difficult it is to stop drinking when your husband continues to drink. I was married to an alcoholic and I asked him to please not bring alcohol into the house. Well, that was a waste of time. He told me to leave it alone and not drink it. He is an alcoholic and wanted to drink and my pleas didn't matter. I am an alcoholic and drank his booze no matter how hard I tried to fight it. Go figure. We are no longer married for many reasons. Alcohol played a huge part but there were other factors as well. Today, I am sober. Have been for many years. Unfortunately, he continues to drink. I don't believe he ever will quit. The good news is, today, I don't have to drink and I enjoy my sober life. Sobriety is always an option and doable if you use the right resources. Good luck and continue to do this for you.

Soberwolf

Welcome Iwb nice to meet you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

strategery

Welcome back!!

lifewithoutbooz

Woke up this morning sober. I ended up taking a sleeping pill the doctor prescribed which never seemed to work before but last night I guess I surrendered, letting go of the fear of what the next day would bring, and I actually slept.

Knowing there are people out there in the same boat as me (especially ones who are or have been in relationships with drinking spouses or partners) has made me feel so much better. Knowing I can get sober and live without alcohol even though my husband will continue to drink. Looking forward to the change and what each new day will bring even though I know there will be ups and downs. Be strong and have a great day everyone.

wildchild69

Welcome back...you're not the only one on and off the wagon....I quit for several months after joining this site 2 years ago...then last summer things got bad ...my drinking has been out of control since then....my life took a really nasty downward spiral and I drank to escape it which only has made things worse. I've been very lucky and should have dealt with far worse consequences than I ever did for my drinking. The point is....it's a journey.... here we are today and i'll raise my coffee cup and coconut water to that haha

Soberwolf

Good job have a great day