I finally get it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 9
I finally get it
I have actually typed this up 2 different times now but never posted.
Just around 1 week ago I was stopped and booked in jail for an owi. (.25 bac...).
I have been a drinker for the last few years now, never involving driving though. I was never a social drinker more of a at home in the garage type of guy. Even with the .25 the cop was amazed at how well I was still functioning they figured I'd barely blow at the limit I think.
This owi scares me to death. Recently I had a son who is now 5 months old. He is the light of my day, everyday. I don't know what possessed me to go out that day after work with "the guys" and think I was fine to make the hour long drive home. On top of that I am closing on our new home this Friday. I am in a committed loving relationship with his mother and also pretty much the sole financial provider for the 3 of us.
I always try to look at that glass half full and maybe it was a blessing I was stopped. Imagine what could've happened and it doesn't seem so bad. What scares me the most is not knowing what will happen. We live in a rural area so public transportation is not an option. Did I just take away from my son's and girlfriends quality of life ? That's what makes me the most upset. I am young at only 22 years old and truly got a blessing of a lifetime job straight out of high school. Yes I work a lot and yes it's usually not close to home but it has provided us with a lot of things that many don't have and I am blessed for that. I am not loosing my job even if I have to take some time off due to no license but I'm hoping that isn't the case. It was a first and last offense.
Now to the true issue..drinking.
Sitting in jail for that night made me really think. It's not worth it. Even if your at home. Why did I need to drink 6 to 12 beers a night ? My son doesn't need to see that, my wife (gf) doesn't need to deal with it, and I don't need to let it take control. It has gradually got worse and it's time to stop it. I promised to him and her that enough was enough and I plan to honor that. I was never mean or disrespectful when buzzes/drunk but there simple was no need for it every night.
Sorry for the random nature of this post but I felt if I wanted to vent and share this was a wonderful place.
Thanks,
7 days sober
Just around 1 week ago I was stopped and booked in jail for an owi. (.25 bac...).
I have been a drinker for the last few years now, never involving driving though. I was never a social drinker more of a at home in the garage type of guy. Even with the .25 the cop was amazed at how well I was still functioning they figured I'd barely blow at the limit I think.
This owi scares me to death. Recently I had a son who is now 5 months old. He is the light of my day, everyday. I don't know what possessed me to go out that day after work with "the guys" and think I was fine to make the hour long drive home. On top of that I am closing on our new home this Friday. I am in a committed loving relationship with his mother and also pretty much the sole financial provider for the 3 of us.
I always try to look at that glass half full and maybe it was a blessing I was stopped. Imagine what could've happened and it doesn't seem so bad. What scares me the most is not knowing what will happen. We live in a rural area so public transportation is not an option. Did I just take away from my son's and girlfriends quality of life ? That's what makes me the most upset. I am young at only 22 years old and truly got a blessing of a lifetime job straight out of high school. Yes I work a lot and yes it's usually not close to home but it has provided us with a lot of things that many don't have and I am blessed for that. I am not loosing my job even if I have to take some time off due to no license but I'm hoping that isn't the case. It was a first and last offense.
Now to the true issue..drinking.
Sitting in jail for that night made me really think. It's not worth it. Even if your at home. Why did I need to drink 6 to 12 beers a night ? My son doesn't need to see that, my wife (gf) doesn't need to deal with it, and I don't need to let it take control. It has gradually got worse and it's time to stop it. I promised to him and her that enough was enough and I plan to honor that. I was never mean or disrespectful when buzzes/drunk but there simple was no need for it every night.
Sorry for the random nature of this post but I felt if I wanted to vent and share this was a wonderful place.
Thanks,
7 days sober
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
print this post out, stick it in a journal, look at it every morning and start that day out with a little riff on what you want your life to be about - for you, for you boy, for your family and friends.....
I'm glad you didn't kill anyone - or die yourself.
I've been in jail for a OWI at .25 and totally functional, too. You know what it means? It means you've been drinking very heavy for a long while.... enough that you can consume enough that you're at a .25 and still standing - where most folks would be flat out on their faces.
It means alcohol isn't just a way to 'relax a little' for you. It means you have a DANGEROUS relationship with alcohol. It means you're at a crossroads, my friend. Choose wisely.
I'm here to tell you that if you choose to make this your turning point, to embrace sobriety and take actions to honor that choice - you will find a richer, more abundant and wonderful, rewarding life than you ever dreamed. It won't be easy at first - but it will be worth it beyond all your wildest imagination.
Harness this momentum, this motivation, this revelation to yourself... don't let it grow cold... don't give the 'what if' a chance to creep back in.....
I'm glad you didn't kill anyone - or die yourself.
I've been in jail for a OWI at .25 and totally functional, too. You know what it means? It means you've been drinking very heavy for a long while.... enough that you can consume enough that you're at a .25 and still standing - where most folks would be flat out on their faces.
It means alcohol isn't just a way to 'relax a little' for you. It means you have a DANGEROUS relationship with alcohol. It means you're at a crossroads, my friend. Choose wisely.
I'm here to tell you that if you choose to make this your turning point, to embrace sobriety and take actions to honor that choice - you will find a richer, more abundant and wonderful, rewarding life than you ever dreamed. It won't be easy at first - but it will be worth it beyond all your wildest imagination.
Harness this momentum, this motivation, this revelation to yourself... don't let it grow cold... don't give the 'what if' a chance to creep back in.....
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Hi, Ted-
I'm glad you joined us and congrats on your 7 days sober.
We don't have to wait until the elevator gets all the way to the bottom- we have the power to step off at any time. Hopefully this is the wake up call for you; I'm also thankful no one was hurt.
SR is a very supportive place, and has been instrumental in keeping me sober for almost a year. Reading and posting often have been the key. It also helps me to remember that yes, alcohol was a huge problem for me. There will be a time where you will think - hey, I wasn't that bad. We all have. The thing is, drinkers like us only get worse.
and hope to see you around often!
I'm glad you joined us and congrats on your 7 days sober.
We don't have to wait until the elevator gets all the way to the bottom- we have the power to step off at any time. Hopefully this is the wake up call for you; I'm also thankful no one was hurt.
SR is a very supportive place, and has been instrumental in keeping me sober for almost a year. Reading and posting often have been the key. It also helps me to remember that yes, alcohol was a huge problem for me. There will be a time where you will think - hey, I wasn't that bad. We all have. The thing is, drinkers like us only get worse.
and hope to see you around often!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
May those 7 days multiply many fold Ted.
Some of us can consume much more before it becomes apparent, making it even more scary. You have a loving wife and child so please see the booze for what it really is!
Some of us can consume much more before it becomes apparent, making it even more scary. You have a loving wife and child so please see the booze for what it really is!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's great to meet you, Ted. Loads of encouragement & friendship to be had here. 
I had the same thing happen - it was terrifying. I never could predict what would happen once alcohol got in my system - so I had to stop all together. It feels so good to be free of the danger & consequences. Glad to have you with us. Congrats on your Day 7.
I had the same thing happen - it was terrifying. I never could predict what would happen once alcohol got in my system - so I had to stop all together. It feels so good to be free of the danger & consequences. Glad to have you with us. Congrats on your Day 7.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
print this post out, stick it in a journal, look at it every morning and start that day out with a little riff on what you want your life to be about - for you, for you boy, for your family and friends.....
I'm glad you didn't kill anyone - or die yourself.
I've been in jail for a OWI at .25 and totally functional, too. You know what it means? It means you've been drinking very heavy for a long while.... enough that you can consume enough that you're at a .25 and still standing - where most folks would be flat out on their faces.
It means alcohol isn't just a way to 'relax a little' for you. It means you have a DANGEROUS relationship with alcohol. It means you're at a crossroads, my friend. Choose wisely.
I'm here to tell you that if you choose to make this your turning point, to embrace sobriety and take actions to honor that choice - you will find a richer, more abundant and wonderful, rewarding life than you ever dreamed. It won't be easy at first - but it will be worth it beyond all your wildest imagination.
Harness this momentum, this motivation, this revelation to yourself... don't let it grow cold... don't give the 'what if' a chance to creep back in.....
I'm glad you didn't kill anyone - or die yourself.
I've been in jail for a OWI at .25 and totally functional, too. You know what it means? It means you've been drinking very heavy for a long while.... enough that you can consume enough that you're at a .25 and still standing - where most folks would be flat out on their faces.
It means alcohol isn't just a way to 'relax a little' for you. It means you have a DANGEROUS relationship with alcohol. It means you're at a crossroads, my friend. Choose wisely.
I'm here to tell you that if you choose to make this your turning point, to embrace sobriety and take actions to honor that choice - you will find a richer, more abundant and wonderful, rewarding life than you ever dreamed. It won't be easy at first - but it will be worth it beyond all your wildest imagination.
Harness this momentum, this motivation, this revelation to yourself... don't let it grow cold... don't give the 'what if' a chance to creep back in.....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: AZ
Posts: 195
Welcome Ted! I'm also glad no one was hurt.
I too got arrested for OUI with a high BAC when I was 22. Fortunately, it was a wake-up in the sense that it prompted me to stop drinking and driving. Unfortunately, nothing else changed. I did the jail time, paid the fines, and went to court ordered classes/treatment. I never stopped drinking though.
It took another 15 years of out of control insanity before I finally realized I was going to kill myself if I didn't stop drinking. Hopefully you'll learn more from this experience/situation than I did. I wish I would have put the bottle down when I was 22..
Congrats on one week!
Z
I too got arrested for OUI with a high BAC when I was 22. Fortunately, it was a wake-up in the sense that it prompted me to stop drinking and driving. Unfortunately, nothing else changed. I did the jail time, paid the fines, and went to court ordered classes/treatment. I never stopped drinking though.
It took another 15 years of out of control insanity before I finally realized I was going to kill myself if I didn't stop drinking. Hopefully you'll learn more from this experience/situation than I did. I wish I would have put the bottle down when I was 22..
Congrats on one week!
Z
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 9
Thank you all for such quick and motivating replies! I am also very lucky and thankful no one else or myself was hurt. I hope that with my current life situation this maybe is what I needed to make the change before I continued down a very dark road. I am fine with facing the consequences of my actions, it is what it will and has taken away from my family that I have the hardest time dealing with. I feel that drive along with my own to quit will get me past this mistake and darker part of my life.
Thanks all again !
Thanks all again !
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 9
Yes i feel i am ready to make the change. No really set plan yet, with the new house, baby and this recent owi (still unknown consequences) my mind feels over loaded right now. But everytime I have thought about grabbing a beer I have been thinking of those 3 things and it very strongly continues to keep me away. That might not be the case forever though, so a plan is something i will be looking into soon. Thanks for all the support
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome Ted! You will find lots of support on here! Sounds like you are going to use the OWI as a turning point in your life. You are still very young, and very smart to stop drinking now. It sounds like you have many blessings in your life.
Keep reading and posting, and definitely take a look at the link about plans.
❤️ Delilah
Keep reading and posting, and definitely take a look at the link about plans.
❤️ Delilah
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