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I just joined and have been blown away by all the support and how so many people completely understand what I'm going through! With that being said I'm wondering if anyone has felt this too...

Recently out of an 8 year relationship that I feel deteriorated because of his drinking. Me "nagging" and him continuing to drink...

At any rate I ended things in January, we reconciled a couple weeks later and then he left me a month later transitioning into another relationship immediately, as in that same day! I am feeling a mix of emotions. I know that I developed codependent traits and am thinking this may be why although I am devastated, I also feel free.

I'm suddenly doing all the things I've been wanting to do but didn't feel like I could when I was with him. I'm dressing nicer, I got my hair done, I've been consistently going to the gym, I'm in therapy, I'm going to ACA meetings. I usually hear that most of the time your libido tanks after a breakup but mine has skyrocketed. I know that I could feel a lot happier most of the time but I almost feel guilty...

Has anyone else experienced this? Why do I suddenly feel like I can do whatever I want? He never forbade me from doing something, at least that I can remember. What the heck is going on? It's like I came back to life

dandylion

Expanding.....perhaps feeling guilty has to do with some baggage that you may be carrying from your earlier, growing up years...
In fact, that is very common.......

dandylion

FireSprite

Ah, yes! When I experienced this it made it SO VERY CLEAR exactly how much I *had* been codependently putting his needs/wants ahead of my own. He never asked me to, I volunteered because it was easy & I often had no strong feelings one way or the other. And by the time I did have strong feelings, it felt so vulnerable & abnormal to voice them & he'd gotten much more progressed in the disease.

I would've thought someone was crazy if they'd suggested such a thing though, I didn't see it until it was going/gone.

Welcome to SR!

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Oh yes, survivors guilt. I feel it towards my family because they are still stuck in the past regarding my mother (some of them). Believing her when she says she doesn't drink anymore, going to see her as if nothing is wrong. My father blames my sister for her drinking, saying "I don't understand that she attacked my mom"... she was no older than 13 before she was put in foster care. I'm willing to bet she stood up and tried to confront what was going on and it was twisted as "attacking". My father is in his 50's and when I talk to him about some things I can see that he's still there and probably always will be.

I hate this disease with all my heart and will never understand why alcohol was brought back all those years ago...

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I'm so glad someone knows where I'm coming from! He's even said, "sucks it had to come to this for all that to happen", but I see now it couldn't have happened any other way