Yogagurl

So, my ex addict husband is dating/living with/befriended my boyfriend's ex wife. They met (I think) on Facebook and have been involved with each other for over a year now. My boyfriend's daughter travels with my ex-husbands parents and the ex-wife has basically become a family member.

I have exhausted every avenue of excommunicating my ex-husband from my life. But, because of his heavy involvement with my boyfriends ex-wife, she (and her sister) have taken it upon themselves to put my marriage to him on blast, as well as to attempt to reveal any past trangressions of mine to my boyfriend's family. They simply will not leave me and my boyfriend alone to be happy.

I don't know what to do.

zoso77

Before I sound off on this, answer the following:

a) what was the primary reason why your boyfriend and his ex got divorced?
b) does the ex have any "issues" of her own?
c) how solid is your relationship with your boyfriend?

AnvilheadII

I guess just IGNORE them? i would hope that your bf's FAMILY wouldn't be swayed by anything his EX says.....

that whole set up is just creepy.....but what can ya do hon? move far far away??

Yogagurl

Hi there, thanks both for responding. To answer the questions:
a) what was the primary reason why your boyfriend and his ex got divorced? - because she's a raging ______, from my understanding. The relationship was based on an unplanned pregnancy.
b) does the ex have any "issues" of her own? I haven't asked for lack of interest, but I don't think she's been a heavy drug user.
c) how solid is your relationship with your boyfriend? like a rock

I don't have any anxiety over what was said or how it may change someone's opinion of me. It was likely a distortion of the truth, if there was truth at all. I haven't asked. I feel secure enough with who I am not to really care about others' opinions of me, but come on! Almost two years and they just won't let it go. And the kicker is that the ex wife and the ex husband are talking trash about my boyfriend and I when, if there is any reason to question good decision making and moral character, the finger is being pointed in the wrong direction. I literally can't respond because it is so pathetic, delusional, and psychotic. I just want to be left to enjoy the rest of my life in peace without having a narcassitic ex addict husband find any means of trying to destoy my happiness and my path moving forward. There was no motive to sitting on a porch and saying insulting things about me to the parents of the man that I am dating except to try to unravel the progress that my boyfriend and I have made together. No other motive, except to destruct. It's actually a pretty evil thing to do, in my opinion.

zoso77

Well, that's the important thing.

I'm going to operate under the assumption that both your AXH and his new found "love" (ahem) have serious characterlogical issues going on. Maybe Borderline Personality Disorder...or maybe Borderline traits...there's something up with both of them.

But you know what? The best way to deal with people like this (and concurrently the best way to p!ss them off) is to do nothing. If I were to guess, what they're really trying to do is bait you and your boyfriend into a response of some kind...any kind, really. And once you've engaged with them, it will turn ugly, and ugly fast. So you ignore them. You deny them what they want, which is attention, and you keep the focus on you.

The only time you and your boyfriend should deviate from this is in the event where you feel physically at risk, at which point you should seek legal means to deal with them. If I'm right, though, you won't have to. They'll push your buttons from a distance, but the chances they'll do something incredibly stupid are pretty small.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, YG. And I empathize a bit, too; my AXGF tried "connecting" with me on Google+ back in January. Needless to say, I've blocked her there, too. But it says something about her makeup that 4 years after we broke up, she's still trying to push my buttons.

Don't take the bait. Live your life your way on your terms, not your AXH's, and certainly not his whackjob of a girlfriend's terms.

Ann

Ignore the bunch of them, what they say or do is on them and their bad behaviour is a reflection of their own dysfunction.

Personally, I would live my life and refuse to have anything to do with any of them.

Good luck.

Yogagurl

Thank you so much for the advise and consolation. It really really helps. You guys are seriously the best!!!!

Bekindalways

Let us know how it goes YG. Detaching from this stuff is really hard.

Take care of yourself. Big hug!