Chelle73

Hello again lovely people
I came here a few weeks ago I think,
Wanting to help/wanting to run.

I'm really struggling. I just feel so lost and so stuck and I know it will pass but damn it's hard!

He's texted me a few times to declare his undying love, and stupidly I've replied. Which just draws things out and makes it harder for longer.

I lurk here and read the threads and see him/me all through them.

Really gotta stop fooling myself and completely cut contact. Sorry to ramble! Just needed to talk xx

Seren

I think many of us understand that pain only all too well, Chelle. I'm sorry that you have to experience it. Sending hugs!

Chelle73

Thank u seren xxx especially the hugs

Jaguar55

I feel like I'm already drowned so I truly understand

Chelle73

Keep treading water jaguar..... And I will too x

DesertEyes

Hello Chelle, and pleased to "meet" you

Yes, I know that drowning feeling too. It is just awful.

Please ramble all you want, write all you want, that is the whole reason SR exists, so we have a place to "let it all out".

Mike

Chelle73

Thanks mike

It definitely helps to not feel so alone.

CaveGirl

Yep, every time I start to feel better something else happens, no matter how small and I freak out... I really want this feeling of doom to end.

Chelle73

It really is a feeling of doom cavegirl.... My anxiety is running rife.... I've become a hermit, to work and then home to blob....
I just feel hopeless! I KNOW I'm not, I'm so looking forward to feeling at peace again

caretaker88

I think many of us "lurk" here... For me, it gives me the sense that I am not alone. I may feel like I am drowning at times, but, there is a reason why each of us comes here. Many of us came because we knew what we were/are experiencing is not right. It is not normal. We do not want to live in this chaos! But, even if we haven't decided to take that leap, we know that we can reach out on this forum for help, support and guidance.

Dodge31

Hang in there it does slowly get better. I know how you feel. 💔

chloe210

I've been struggling with anxiety since my breakup with XABF, I've kind of become a social hermit, and small things really set me off. I've been trying to meditate to calm my mind which is over thinking everything. I wake up too early, and my thoughts are running rife.

I hope these difficult times pass soon for all of our sakes, hugs to everyone.

Chelle73

Thank you for your support/kindness.

I've started meditation too to help calm my poor frazzled mind/thoughts.

I'm determined to never see him again but wow it feels like it would be so easy to run back.... But then I know what would come after...... Drama, pain, confusion, abuse

Mustn't do it to myself.... I want a GOOD life! A peaceful fun happy life..... Full of healthy things/people

Thank u all again.... You make me feel sane again ..... As sane as I get anyway lol

Big love to you all xxx

Chelle73

This is me to a T right now hugs to you xxx it's really hard!

maia1234

C,
Good for you for reaching out. Before we would reach out to our addict when we needed support, knowing they couldn't help us. Very slowly you are reaching for serenity. In the midst of my craziness, I said the serenity prayer a million times a day. It calmed me down, just to breath. The day I moved out on my own (after 34 years with axh) I have chosen not to say the serenity prayer, as I don't need it anymore. I choose other ways of serenity, that was my history of coping, and I have moved forward.

You keep reading and educating yourself and u will one day be able to execute everything you want/need in your life. Dont rush the process. Take your time, so you feel the pain to never do this again.

Hugs my friend, you are on God's plan, this is what he set out for you, you will be ok!! Once we accept this, and stop trying to control things, our lives fall into place as he planned, not us!!

AnvilheadII

hon, it's time to BLOCK him. ANYTHING that plummets you into such despair is NOT good for you.

Chelle73

You are right. I've done it. On my phone and FB.... It really does just tip me over every time we "talk".
Thank u

AnvilheadII

when i heard the news that Prince died, i immediately thought of an old BF who was completely ENAMORED with Prince......this was back in the day (30 years ago) and the bf could wear my heeled boots and dance in them better than i could! so what did i do? looked him up on FB. the last pics he'd posted were a year ago......but DAMN.....he looked good, for someone now in their 50s and still had that "edge" - that jaw line, that smirk.

and i'll be honest, it threw me for a bit. after THREE DECADES. and i even thought for a second about sending a friend request so i could express my condolences about Prince.

but it didn't last long....just a quick trip down memory lane.....and i was able to put him back on the shelf and get back to today. i mean the LAST thing i ever want to do is open THAT door again???? uh no.

Chelle73

FB is a dangerous place if you're not strong lol
I'm determined to actually BE single.... Make it a choice and stick to it... I Have always jumped from one relationship to another and it's time to just stop for a while, time to work on myself and nurture myself.

And it makes me feel relieved!

So def the right step for me right now.

Ps..... Prince was amazing.... Just loved him growing up.... I told my 24yro son Prince had died and he said Who? Lol

AnvilheadII

oh i am many relationships beyond J now....and in a very stable LT relationship of 13+ years....so it wasn't like i was looking for trouble! or a little side action! and i was able to step away......

but good for you in recognizing the "frog" quality - hopping from one lily pad to another. yes you DO deserve a break......TBH, men are a pain in the @ss! even on their good days!!! lol